|Reviews for Snowbound Heart|
| mamita chapter 1 . 3/1/2013
Hello, I really liked your fic, my favorite couple is LavixAllen, are so hot and so tender, hopefully do more fics of them, keep it up, thanks and kisses.
| AnimeloverWinry chapter 1 . 7/2/2012
I enjoyed the story. I think there is grest protental in your writing. I hope to see improvement though. Good job. A bit OOC but not to the point of being unbareable. Again I enjoyed it and I hope you can improve on protraying the characters.
| MidnightAbyssx02 chapter 1 . 1/16/2012
A-a-a-a-AWESOME! OMG I LUV THESE KINDA STORY PLOT! I THINK I LUV YOU! Poor Allen!
| fiorifrost-legallover chapter 1 . 4/10/2011
so . . . SEXY! iloved it! and you said this was your dream? how strange that i should find this story! you see i just recently had a dream similar to the likes of this one but it switched off between allen and lavis pint of view and i have begun to write it down so search for it on fanfic soon!
| Olympos chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
this story literally sucked me in... soooooooo goooddd!
| ben4kevin chapter 1 . 3/3/2011
aawww ignore Saphira112 you said at the start, of the fic it was based on a dream so it would be unrealistic. I thought it was very good,
| WingsofSmoke chapter 1 . 1/28/2011
Well-written! However, I do have some problems with it. Mainly that it's really unrealistic.
Generally when you take characters and put them into a much different situation than the considered "norm" for them, OOCness occurs anyway. But it seems like there's far more OOCness than should be bearable, and upon breaking down the characters, it seems as if you've skipped over basic personality analysis. Just in my opinion, anyway. I'll only put my few concerns here, because this isn't meant to be a flame and I will apologize in advance if it comes across as one.
Personally, I don't find Allen to be so much of a pansy as he is portrayed here. Sure, the situation will cause his adrenaline to spike and it very well may be that he is scared for his life. It's understandable. Someone is chasing him and trying to hurt him. But he seems over-dramatically weak, even in this frightening place.
The reason I find his side of the rape unrealistic is because a person who has just been raped (and brutality, according to your fic) doesn't just still love the person and enjoy the rape and move on like everything's okay. Even for a forgiving, loving character like Allen, this is a very traumatic event. He may be small, but he does have some strength in him, even if this is AU. If anything, Allen might actually socked Lavi really good and gotten better distance. He might not have reported it, but I digress. In a miraculous situation as you've tacked off at the end, yes, he would forgive, but so readily get close to Lavi? I doubt it.
Lavi's logic is also thin and barely understandable. Chasing down Allen and repeatedly raping him, and then lecturing him? And then everything is all flowers and puppies? Because he loves him? I find that to be unrealistic as well. Lavi is a very calculating individual, and a smart one at that. I would find it more likely that Lavi, say, would corner Allen and angrily lecture him about how unfair he's being, then try and move Allen into a seduction to show him what it's like. Rape doesn't follow Lavi's better nature. Just looking at his personality, anyway.
I know that this is a break from the normal gentle cute Laven and I really don't mind the idea. I think Laven does need to get rougher, and break out of the cuteness stereotype it's stuck in. There's much more that could be offered.
But your story doesn't do that for me at all.
Rape is a VERY touchy subject, especially in real life. While I understand that this is fanfiction, and you based it off a dream you had, my inner fangirl has flinched multiple times from the fact that these two take extreme, violent measures just to solve a problem that only needs a good sit-down chat between one another to get through. Which, for the logic supposedly behind all of this, that sit-down suggestion would make a much better story for that kind of idea. But a rape? It's too extreme.
While I do applaud you for writing this quite well (one grammatical error maybe, and I think that was just wordiness), I do think that a more realistic approach would be better suited for this type of idea. Or at least better logic.
Thank you for your time.
| Being a genius is a drag chapter 1 . 1/9/2011
omg this is super good and yes it is very different and poor Allen..raped five times in a row, but hey he found love at the end :)) nice work :))
| that girl chapter 1 . 1/7/2011
i really really really like this
| SpazticTwitchNinja chapter 1 . 1/6/2011
*Claps* Lovely! D I like you're writing style.
| Mello-The-Melon chapter 1 . 1/5/2011
Ooooh, very different from many laven fics i have read! But, nothing short of brilliant! ;PP
Desperation is goooood LMAO! Welldone xxxxxxxxxxx