|Reviews for Eien Ni|
| Takato the dreamer chapter 1 . 1/21/2013
GAY FOR GOGGLES!
YES! Best slogan ever XDDD
| rrm chapter 1 . 3/1/2012
Ruki never stops being a bitch, right? She's always so funny.
Also, I must say this: My heart melted with Hirokazu's speech. I loved that so freaking much. Despite his own doubts, or what everyone else, he was able to express his feelings.
| Ian R. Moros chapter 1 . 5/31/2011
Alright, before I get into the psychological mess that is Hirokazu, I just have to say one thing first. Ruki, I love you. I love you as much as a gay man can love a fictitious woman. You light up my life with your every barbed observation. Not a single word or sideways glance from you is wasted, though never are you more in touch with your craft than when pointing out Hirokazu's place in the turtle race. There are those who speak of soul-mates, but Ruki I believe you are my soul-hag.
How's THAT for a confession?
Now then, on to Hirokazu! This story is unabashedly all about Hirokazu and no one else. It isn't even about his coming out to the others; after all, everyone else clearly already knows. And Hirokazu knows they know. No, this is about Hirokazu coming out to himself. Kind of a mean feat for a guy with a boyfriend, but hear me out on this. Hirokazu is definitely not far enough along in dealing with things to where he can really admit his orientation to anyone, and can barely even admit it to himself. He was still in the process of coming to terms with things when, because of circumstances beyond his control (Kenta showing up on Christmas eve) he was put in the awkward position of divulging his still incomplete realization about himself. When his parents told him that they'd suspected the same he couldn't really hide it, but he still wasn't ready to accept it himself. This puts Hirokazu in the very awkward position of having everyone from his friends to his boyfriend to his parents acknowledging that he likes guys when he hasn't finished processing it. This, of course, is why he can't use the word "boyfriend", why he denied the well-founded suspicion from the others, and why he can't stomach talking to his parents about it.
Actually, that last one is rather interesting when you consider it as a reflection of Kenta's situation: the Shiotas believed their son was gay all along and were immediately supportive, whereas the Kitagawas were in the dark the whole time and reacted badly. Much the same inversion is found in Hirokazu and Kenta themselves. After the initial trouble Kenta is quite comfortable coming out, even relieved. He's affectionate and, despite his usual insecurities, he is the brave one of the pair. The normally boisterous Hirokazu, on the other hand, winds up wracked with guilt and shame over the whole thing; even with all the support in the world he's wholly uncomfortable even admitting it to himself, much less anyone else, and he can just barely manage to show even slight affection for Kenta without a lot of prodding. Hirokazu is still thinking in terms of stereotypes, that liking Kenta makes him less manly. The irony is that Hirokazu is trying to maintain his manly image when he can't even stand up and speak frankly about being bi. A real man would just get up and say it! He's a walking contradiction here, actually becoming a bit of a weak-willed stereotype in the vain hope of maintaining some vision of himself as the manly one. True, he was the one to confess first, but he didn't have the fortitude to actually say the words. Of the two of them, Kenta is the one with the brass ba... er, chutzpah.
Hirokazu seems to think that his hangups are mostly over what other people think, but that's not quite true. He is very worried that everyone already knows (like his parents did), and of course they do. He knows they'd all be supportive. And yes, they are very supportive. So supportive, in fact, that they don't state the blindingly obvious for Hirokazu's sake. They aren't there to learn the great and terrible secret Hirokazu has been keeping. They know it and he knows it. What they are there to do is to support him; it's all for Hirokazu's benefit. They want to get him to the point where he can actually say the words out loud around other people. Of course even when the time does come, he can't even use the magic words "I like guys." They do their best to get him to talk, but it's not the sort of journey they can lead him through by the hand. Ultimately it's something he has to make happen on his own, though having his friends' support does make it a little easier on him. They reassure him that he's still Hirokazu, he's still manly, and they don't think any less of him for it, which seems laser-targeted to deal with the exact crisis of identity Hirokazu is going through. That reassurance more than any is probably what got him over the hump. But again, what his friends tell him doesn't really matter when he's having a hard time believing it himself. I mean, just look at his narration. Ostensibly it's his inner-monologue, the thoughts that nobody else gets to hear, and even there he's trying to act tough. He can barely even admit to HIMSELF that he was crying! No wonder actually showing his affection for Kenta is such a big hangup! The problem isn't with being in public, or with Kenta, or having the others seem them; it's all inside Hirokazu's own head as he fights against his self-image.
The tilting point for Hirokazu throughout all of this is Kenta. Without Kenta, Hirokazu would be stuck in more of a bomb shelter than a closet. It was his feelings for Kenta in the first place that made him ever entertain the possibility that he liked guys. It was because of Kenta's bravery in coming out to his parents that Hirokazu found the strength in himself to admit how he felt. And now he wants to come out to everyone else not so he can feel better about himself, not because he's ready for any of it, but for Kenta. Just as everyone else keeps quiet for Hirokazu's sake, Hirokazu has to shout his love from the rooftops for Kenta's sake. Hirokazu is scared out of his mind, still barely able to admit to himself that he's bi, but when it comes down to a choice between facing his fears and hurting Kenta there's no choice at all. Kenta, of course, probably isn't thrilled to have a boyfriend who's so hesitant to show affection, but at the same time a lot of that might be in Hirokazu's mind. It would makes sense, given as all the other tension in this story is taking place there.
This is the tale of an epic battle, a war worthy of story and song, and it's all being fought in the head of one confused teenager while everyone around him thinks he's making too much of it. On one side: the great warrior Hirokazu, the manly warlord who will dive head-first into any battle without a moment's hesitation, who will beat the living hell out of anyone who insults his friends and keep their teeth to fashion himself a necklace of bone and blood. He represents Hirokazu's (somewhat over-inflated) self-image. On the other side we have Hirokazu the lover, the romantic, whose passion and zeal know no bounds; he is tender, but the fire in his heart burns long and bright. Unlike the warrior, the lover knows no fear, no restraint, and will never relent. This embodiment of Hirokazu's desires is, of course, bedecked in many broken bits of Christmas trees. These duelists fight for Hirokazu's very soul. As is the way with such things the warrior eventually falters, and only then does the enduring lover achieve victory with a passionate proclamation of his adoration for Kenta! Up until that point, Hirokazu's self-imposed rule of being all or nothing had time and again leaned toward the latter option. Bit by bit Hirokazu's self-image lost ground though, until at last Hirokazu's desires took hold of him. In the end, it was Hirokazu's self-image that was made to bend and was transformed, so that both the warrior and the lover may stand up together and proclaim in that uniquely-Hirokazu way that he loved Kenta Kitagawa and anyone who didn't like it would get the beating of a lifetime!
Was that a little over the top? If it was, I don't care. I'm totally with Ruki on the slow clap. Shine on, you crazy diamond, Hirokazu. Emphasis on the crazy.
| Kohaku-Koneko chapter 1 . 1/4/2011
Oh dear God. I was laughing and smiling so much that my face now hurts. I don't think I've ever seen Ruki done any better.
Ori, you are a true slash genius.