Reviews for Manufactured
Magical Leaf chapter 1 . 3/2/2013
I really like how you make Drew a more 2D character, instead of those really bad 1D characters some other writers make her be. It's really IC, and very unique!
I also like the Catie, because somehow, people always pair up Tratie instead of Catie. Connor needs some love! XD
Keep it up!
Bushwah chapter 1 . 11/16/2012
I would probably title this piece "Tragic Love".
Her.Royal.Cheesyness chapter 1 . 10/29/2011
*flails* Oh hey. Working through list of reviews I need to get done. Told you that I would take ages reviewing, didn't I? XD

Beautifully written, as usual. Flowed very nicely, and I could actually see the tone changing as Drew's character changed. The way the story kind of melted from third person to first person gave the end few sections a more personal touch, and if I go on I'm probably going to overanalyse. XD But yeah, it's a very interesting way of progressing a fic. The snarky commentary from Drew was very IC, I guess, from what we got from TLH, with it being quite bitchy and taunting. It was also pretty funny. This, however, fades away as the story progresses, and, like I said before, I think it reflects how Drew changes as a character. The only thing I didn't quite get used to was how sometimes the brackets were used for Drew's personal commentary, and sometimes it was just an addition to the narrative. Just felt a bit odd to me, how the brackets had different usages...Or maybe that's just my brain telling me to go to sleep...XD Anyways, the whole thing was nicely described.

Onto the plot. Melikes the idea of Drew going through character development by her watching another couple develop. Also, the Catie. Hmm. One wonders why Tratie is more popular than this. Can't really think of why. Anyways, back to your fic. Not got much to comment on the plot, since this is very strongly character-driven, so more of my commentary is going to be in that paragraph below. Would just like to add that I think the plot is pretty original. :3 Got a bit confused by the ending at first, but I think I get it now

So, the characters Drew. Thanks for making her more than 2D, like RR did. It was IC as well, as I've mentioned, but explores well below the surface of what RR created Drew to be. It makes sense, how she's fascinated by the mechanics of a relationship, and, of course, her mummy issues are something that every demigod possesses. What was unexpected, but not bad, was how she really felt about love, and not the tragic kind. Because in the book, she was basically presented as a stereotypical Aphrodite kid, and that would suggest that she was a loyal follower of her mum. However, in your fic, you show how she does want her mummy to care, but her nature or something struggles against what she thinks her mum wants and it's all complicated and stuff how she feels and what she does. Plus, you did make Drew more likable than presented in the book. Hmm. It's interesting to compare my characterization of Drew's with yours. *nods* As for the other characters, Catie was made pretty cute, but I don't think you overdosed on the romance.

As for presentation, it was generally fine, though you did switch to the past tense once or twice.

All in all, nice story, wonderful characterization of Drew. :)
Tokoloshe Monster chapter 1 . 10/16/2011
This is an awesome concept, and the execution is fantastic.

The only complaint I have is about the idea that this is tragic love. Maybe Drew interpreted that her mother would appreciate it, but in the end I think in order for love to be tragic, there needs to be, you know, *love*. So trying to manufacture that and then rip it up doens't actually mean much. :/ But yeah, maybe that's just how Drew sees things, I dunno.

But yeah, I love everything backfired. . It was definitely interesting to read, the narrative was done wonderfully.

Much love,

Xxx WeSt Of ThE MoON xxX chapter 1 . 4/6/2011
lovely lol
Skadi 2. Marchking chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
Hello Incendiarist,

Your fic has been suggested by someone to be hosted on . . If you do not wish for your fic to be on this site, please PM me.


(Project Aero, The School, Booktopia)
the ghost king chapter 1 . 1/10/2011
The story told by Drew? I don't think anyone can do that better than you, Fred. -claps-
Hopefulnoodles17 chapter 1 . 1/7/2011
Whoa whoa whoa... the last section is in Drew's POV? O_O NO WAY!
XxxFire RosexxX chapter 1 . 1/7/2011
it was an okay story i couldn't tell till the end it was in Drew's point of view.
Orochi-Ne chapter 1 . 1/4/2011
As I read the fic a few interesting things were going through my mind.

"Who's telling the stor - Drew? She made Drew likable? Fred's one hell of an author because I'm not screaming at my computer screen about how much I hate the daughter of Venus."

Was the main thing that I was thinking. And for making Drew likable and a complete and utter... Well you know what I think she is, thank you. Even during the entire concept of the tragic romance I loved it, she was trying to follow in her mother's footsteps and in doing so found a better understanding of love. And the bastard comment was indeed hilarious.

Great work.
FoalyWinsForever chapter 1 . 1/4/2011
Nice! I loved how we didn't find out the narrator was actually a character for a while, then that she was an Aphrodite girl, then that she was Drew. It was deep and well-written, with perfect mechanics. To tell the truth, I feel a bit left out regarding the whole Tratie vs. Catie debate (Aren't the Stolls pretty much interchangeable in canon?) but the relationship you created was sweet and believable. All in all, excellent job. :)