Reviews for Susan Bones and the Prisoner of Azkaban
vysirez chapter 40 . 10/21/2018
Kind of confused about where the black phoenix and the dementor super powers came from. Seems to have popped up out of no where.
vysirez chapter 33 . 10/21/2018
Good story overall. Minor issues here and there though. Couple this chapter. First very minor one is that polyjuice take weeks to make, so Justin couldn't have been making it in the short time here. Second is that neither Dobby or Remus tell Harry that his home was attacked. The would have woken him up to tell him, much less show up in the morning to tell him.
witchynails chapter 49 . 10/6/2018
A decent story to read if you understand the Harry Potter series well and can keep up with complicated and intricate details of the plot. Many simple mistakes were made in the details of the writing but most of all the plot was a bit to iffy. We know it’s not a Super!Harry book and it is unusual to regular Azkaban fics, but Harry probably wouldn’t have forgiven some people so quickly and definitely not have went to back to Hogwarts to suffer abuse like he did in this story
Jim Red Hawk chapter 15 . 9/16/2018
Rowling is a good author. However, she is not the end all to be all in writing that people have tried to make her. She made too many mistakes. Even she has admitted pairing Hermoine & Ron and Harry & Ginny was a mistake. Why is GRIFFINdore’s mascot a lion? Does she not know what a griffin is? If you need to kill a Weasley, why not Percy? Then she did the same thing to Teddy she did to Harry. She does not learn from her mistakes? I think the stories could have been a lot better.

JimS
Inactive-Account-Free-Stories chapter 11 . 9/11/2018
By this point, I'd be looking into other schools Harry. It's clear no one, save for a few, is on your side. So i'd leave and take my business else where.
Banner chapter 49 . 8/3/2018
I just reread this story from the beginning. It's the quintessential Independent!Harry story for me. He's smart and tough and willing to listen and learn from his advisors. I love him.

Thank you (again).
Sohni Slytherin chapter 17 . 6/22/2018
hate to disappoint you but this story is not good in my opinion. Harry going to azkaban and Amos Diggory claiming his property as reparation is ok. but murdering Hedwig? How do you justify that?
it's way to angsty in my opinion. tragedy is one thing but always bad incidents happening with him and no supporting adults except Amelia Bones! why? I mean why everyone is against him?
now onto, scene breaks and time skips. they just don't make sense!
am not writing this to discourage you and hope you will take this as constructive criticism.
G the Headmaster chapter 49 . 6/12/2018
This was a great story. I almost read it straight through.

Thanks for writing it!
G the Headmaster chapter 9 . 6/7/2018
Do all redheads use the bat bogey hex?
marvinkitfox1 chapter 34 . 5/28/2018
A word of advice to the author:
If you want to make your story an intricate tangle of webs of intrigue, fine.
But STOP with the fuggin scenes where you refuse to give names to anyone, and where there is no context to know who or what they are, even several chapters later.
That is not mystique, it is just rotten writing!
Jimbocous chapter 47 . 4/28/2018
Thanks for a great (re)read!
SabrinaMagnus chapter 33 . 4/22/2018
Love this story, tho it has a few more twists and turns than my usual liking. A few things you might want to address.

1: There is some fuzziness with the way you jump ahead in time with the narration sometimes that may have led to the next issue.
2: It seems you've gotten some years mixed up. It looks like they are in 7th year during their 6th year. The 96-97 school yeah, (which seems to be wrapping up now) is Harry's 6th year. But You have him and his friends as 7th years.
3: Even if you meant them to be 6th years but accidentally kept typing out 7th year, the NEWTs don't take place until the end of 7th year, which for Harry would be the 97-98 school year.
4: You had Carrow apparate into Hogwarts. Not Possible. I have no issues with stories where some loophole or super ability makes it possible, but for a Death Eater to just casually apparate into the school like that... Voldemort could just pop in and pop back out with Harry.
5: You had Justin brew Polyjuice Potion in an afternoon. It takes a month to brew that.

As I said, I'm loving this story. It's interesting and offers some unique and fascinating plot ideas. That said, with the above list of errors, combined with the nearly overwhelming number of twists and turns both in the plot and the narration style, make it really difficult to read at times.

I hope that, what I intended as constructive criticism, doesn't discourage you. You have a wonderful imagination and that is something you should nurture. I just wanted you to know that sometimes the story reads like a 3rd draft and might benefit from a little more revision. On the other hand, I hope you'll be glad to know that as I've read through your story so far, I have picked up some tips for how to avoid some overinflated sections of my own writing where I tend to go on needlessly longwinded narration sometimes.
Bad Wolf chapter 30 . 4/22/2018
Okay, While I love this story for the most part (i wouldn't have killed off Amelia honestly, tho I do hope she's one the the spies working to take the spies down from the inside) there is one thing I'm very confused about that goes back to my other review about time skips.

I will admit it's possible that it's just a mistake, or that I missed or forgot something, but the timeline here isn't making sense. It started out at the end of the triwiz and Harry went to Azkaban. He got out a bit more than halfway into firth yeah. Most of the story since covered the rest of fifth year and summer and into sixth year. A winter wedding, the hunting down of Amelia's murderers... covering to the end of april or start of may... of what is his sixth year... and then all of a sudden... he's a seventh year? and sirius and draco are still hiding in the camber?

All that aside, and despite how convoluted this story is, it's still a great story.
Bad Wolf chapter 19 . 4/21/2018
First, I won't insult you by saying this story is perfect, but it is very interesting to the point that I'm losing sleep because i can't stop reading it lol. I really do like it for the most part. Little annoyances like a teen pregnancy (i just have seen that in a disturbing number of potter fics i've read) can be considered simply difference of opinion.

I would like to offer one bit of constructive criticism, however. You could use some more transition within scenes sometimes. There have been moments (sorry that i can't give examples b/c I'm currently exhausted) where a time skip happened so suddenly that it was quite jarring and I had to reread those sections two or three times to understand that a time skip happened.

With that said, and excluding the minor issues that happen to all writers like spelling/grammar/sysntax issues, I think it's a great story.
ClaireR89 chapter 13 . 4/20/2018
This story is a mess
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