|Reviews for Return from the Relay|
| Kurumi Uchiha chapter 13 . 2/23/2012
I really enjoyed it! Nice work with the story!
I be watching over you in case you decide to write a sequel :)
| Kodama91 chapter 13 . 9/18/2011
Thats how it should happen!
| Jakob the Girl chapter 13 . 1/18/2011
This was a really great story. Short sweet and to the point, while powerful and honest. It was also a great place to end this. Leave room for more, but allow the reader to be content with the ending. Really nice work.
| Commander Kurt chapter 13 . 1/16/2011
This is really, really good. Well written, the characters are believable and the story is interesting. It honestly makes me a little jealous, since my perception of things were similar but not presented as well. Ah, well.
Thank you for sharing this!
| Sasha L'Orange chapter 5 . 1/10/2011
I love Kaidan. But after what he did to Shepard on Horizon, I'd kind of love to kick him in the balls. Seems Saia feels the same way...
Also, there are just a few typos in here that you could fix with a bit more careful proofreading. In here, Kaidan says that Joker would jump at the "change" to fly the Normandy again, rather than the "chance." Just little things.
Anyway, keep it up!
| Sasha L'Orange chapter 4 . 1/10/2011
I'd say she was acting completely irrationally, but then again, humans are never the most sensible of creatures when it comes to love and alcohol.
| Sasha L'Orange chapter 3 . 1/10/2011
You've got just a few grammar errors here and there:
"All my clothes died with the Normandy and I," should be "with the Normandy and me." You can tell whether to use I or me by mentally removing the "[insert name of what/whoever else it is here] and" part of the sentence and leaving only "All my clothes died with ME." "All my clothes died with I" doesn't sound right, does it? Does that make sense?
Nice move addressing more than just the visual sense in this chapter. People usually rely on that sense (for obvious reasons) when writing, but it's always a special treat when you address the other four. If you could work in even more references to touch/feeling, taste, and smell, I think you'll be impressed with the results. In a club scene like this, it's all about sensory overload.
| Sasha L'Orange chapter 2 . 1/10/2011
Oh, HILARIOUS interactions between Shepard and her crew. "Jack wore her approval like she wore her tattoos." Golden.