Reviews for HermioneSeverus Watersports
pokefan22546 chapter 1 . 2/1
You did pretty good, actually. I always have a habit of saying everything past tense when in first person, but you made it seem like it was happening right then. Exellent!
aslaug chapter 1 . 6/16/2014
This is great! Page breaks or no pagebreaks (am still trying to figure out how to edit my stories on FFN!)
CABRALFAN27 chapter 1 . 7/18/2013
Sorry, what I meant to say was you should make another one where Snape gets revenge and makes Hermione beg. :D Mwahahahahaha!
Ura Omote Author chapter 1 . 6/30/2013
Don't listen to all the meanies. You DID warn them after all! I think this was very well written, I'm just sorry you got so many jerky reviewers.
CABRALFAN27 chapter 1 . 6/19/2013
You should write another chapter/fic where Snape gets even and makes Hermione beg! :D
Guest chapter 1 . 7/2/2012
People are stupid... don't listen to what naysayers say, especially about plot line. It was written clear in the description what the story would consist of, so negative comments regarding that just show who's too dumb to realize what they would and would not be comfortable with.

Personaly I thinkit was great, a little choppy starting out, and if you deside to write more I'd advise some deeper editing, but as far as flow and writing style, its very good. Keep it up :)

She Who He Loves (lazyness sometimes prevents me from logging in xD)
plungers-rock-my-socks chapter 1 . 5/29/2012
You have just made my day. I can't belive that it took me this long to think about looking for watersports in fanfiction!
Qwestiria chapter 1 . 2/26/2012
this is great!

please write another chapter!
Bbutterflyy chapter 1 . 11/26/2011
O_o love Harry Potter. Love Snape. Love watersports ESPECIALLY desperation and begging. YOU... are my hero. 3
Annabelle chapter 1 . 11/26/2011
This makes no sense at all. But well written.
Alexa1993 chapter 1 . 7/2/2011
Queenie09 chapter 1 . 6/22/2011
I think I am truly in love with you!

put more of theses stories up!

many thanks for making my night

Queenie _
Ms.Lovett'sSmutShop chapter 1 . 6/5/2011
I really like POV since it's different from most, and the fact that you include omorashi. Just check your spelling and grammar, and you're off to a fantastic story.

Also, *tip* When writing smut, generally "penis" is not a sexy word. :)
completelyensnarryed chapter 1 . 5/18/2011
You write very well. You describe watersports very well. I only have a few points to make, regarding improvement: 1) Spelling. (Just re-read the story, even once, before posting, but slowly, and most of the 'annoying' spelling mistakes would be caught. And 2) I am not sure that Snape would be caught 'with his pants down,' so to say, and by the twins. They may be pranksters, but *he* grew up with the Marauders playing every trick in the book on him, and the twins are NOTHING to Snape to handle and handle easily, after what he'd been through. If you want to write watersports with someone who is charmed away from using the facilities, a la here, why not write about young!Neville Longbottom? Or some trick involving Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle, on some unsuspecting first-year.

But I have to tell you this... this one continuity point aside, you will write very well, if this is what you want to do.
SnuggleswithSnape chapter 1 . 3/30/2011
Okay personally it was a little too out there for me.. but everyone has the right to write whatever they want to write.

Apart from that you are a really good writer, I just didn't lik the plot.. sorry

-Hannah
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