|Reviews for Shadow of Zero|
| Arafell chapter 6 . 8/21
Every time you say venerable, I believe you mean 'vulnerable.'
One means old or respected, the other means an exposed weakness.
| Seraphim209 chapter 1 . 7/27
Duuuuuuude, please keep going with this one. You're writing is great, characters are well flesh out, and the story is daaaaaaaaaaamn good. Pleas don't abandon it!
| conan.lagace chapter 6 . 9/5/2015
Can't wait for the update. This story is awesome.
| Anonimaly chapter 1 . 5/22/2015
"still relatively young and venerable." :]
"until ether it was needed, or" (Also while I'm on this passage the "it" here is either ambiguous or referring to "staying" instead of leaving the form, which makes less than perfect sense.)
"but if I indented to keep myself hidden" You have the best typos.
"Still young! still venerable!" ]
"and there magic was strange to me"
"So I made my exit quite." (Yes, escape very, leave extremely.)
"the lack of light sot"
"bird said, fallow your nose!" It looks like another typo/wordo, but might be intended based on whoever/whatever-sort-of-critter said it.
"located a servant and began stocking them" (We only stock our servants with the best organs!)
"more the hunter pray sense…"
"I fallowed her"
"There were mean and women"
"if it is an elf. And I'm not saying it is. What are" English has a symbol just for this sort of thing! D A dash! So, "if it is an elf- and I'm not saying it is- what are". (Well, it's supposed to be —, but that's harder to type [alt-22 on windows I think?].)
"their new pet's and"
"stepping out of the darkness, and beading away its hold." (Like beads of sweat; the darkness drips off him?)
"The big guy stepped up first and foremost snapping out of it." Could use a comma.
"I tracked as one of the younger ones"
"had fallowed actually"
"nothing to caked on"
"the roll of foolish youngster"
"still easier then my"
"It wasn't helped that the water was cold."
"She worked her own with a bit of bitterness, I had seen a flash of surprise, and wonder when I had preformed the cantrip, but it had faded quickly." Could use a semicolon.
"Were I come nether do most elves." A double.
"the local powers hear only use innate magic"
"sorcerery" (The magic of controlling sorcerers.)
", I count myself among they're number" (Aside from the obvious, could use an "and".)
"wouldn't take more than a couple hours for two or three weeks." Could use an "each day"?
"More importantly, were did go?" (Although maybe she's supposed to sound stupid from just waking up.)
"It had started rough, for the opposite reason actually, the boy was far too humble" *Casts Summon Semicolon.*
"Shale we at least go seek"
"in her steps as we traveled I noted." *Casts Summon Comma.*
"left for the outside, were a large assortment of tables"
"I greeted with what warm I could managed." Two or one depending on how you solve it.
"You know this servant Familiar?" 'Comma, I choose you!'
"She will with your blessings, be" 'Comma, use Parenthetical Phrase!'
"was to be aloud personal projects"
", eventfully a fireball could go rouge, a spell would backfire, or a summon would shake loose of it's bindings." QUAD DAMAGE. (2 spelling, 1 consistent word use, 1 punctuation)
", but it is a widely used, well developed, ancient branch of sorcerery, refined well over a million years in use." (Aside from the spelling bit, could use some word removal/adding to make it less awkward.)
"I stated begrudgedly."
"how poorly I sacked up"
"Both girls were rather surprised at that." Not a typo, just would be nice to re-word it so that it didn't seem to refer to the immediately preceding paragraph.
"I blinked, had I actually said that? Reviewing I noticed I did." Just consistency.
", with only the mightiest of Infernal, and gods to"
"letting lose a bit of my aura of terror"
", I got the feeling she'd normally "Your best spell casters are big dumb lizards?"" What is this? I don't even "Your entire thought just ended there?"
"lacks there highborn kin"
"modes of light gathered"
"not to dissimilar"
"as any man quite often a great deal" Could use punctuation or a conjunction.
"stronger then steel"
(Although, sadly, this is the point I got distracted too many times in a row and too badly to believe I'm still willing to finish.)
If you're confused about the error in each, you can use wiktionary on various words and punctuation to clear up your understanding. Figuring each out should be more hilarious than me simply offering a list of substitutions.
| rifful chapter 6 . 1/12/2015
very interesting take on a ZnT x-over. well done for what was posted so far.
| Deinokos chapter 6 . 9/26/2014
| The One Who Reads Too Much chapter 1 . 8/19/2014
Oh, that Beautiful Brothers Grimm reference.
| KleverKilva chapter 6 . 3/12/2013
This has to be one of the best FoZ crosssovers i've seen, 2nd or 3rd to Gabriel Blessing's
| Invader Viceroy chapter 2 . 2/9/2013
can you divide the chapters plz
| thallium081 chapter 6 . 1/31/2013
Just finished reading up to this chapter and I love your story already.
I don't have any complaints at the moment. Looking forward to the next chapter!
| Zhor chapter 6 . 9/27/2012
Very good story...tis' a shame you decided to just abandon it.
| voidblade6 chapter 5 . 9/1/2012
Glabrezu.. Remember my earlier comment it only applied to a party of borderline demigods. Sentients that had set themselves on the path to godhood with power to match. Legendary heros fighting horrors unimaginable. Anyways great story.
| voidblade6 chapter 4 . 9/1/2012
Well that explains what killed the dragons. Seriously though with a proper party and a wizard capable of 9th circle spells The best thing to do for a fight you wouldn't win is a uncontrolled demon summon mixed with invisibility/protect against evil for your party and then kill it after it kills your enemy.
| voidblade6 chapter 1 . 9/1/2012
ah crap well I like this. I read the other one though first. It seemed more refined... Is it a rewrite.
| Sieben Nightwing chapter 6 . 6/18/2012
More please? I hate cliffhangers, especially ones as juicy as this. Please, continue this story rather than just letting it sit here gathering "dust" as it were, and you may very well have a masterpiece in this work.