Reviews for In The Night Air
Weasy chapter 1 . 3/9/2011
Can you pass this on team?

Eric - I really enjoyed the context on this one, the world was set up and fleshed out beautifully. It wasn't perfect, and holding that up against the dreamlike tone of the encounter just fitted really well.

I would actually love to read more! If they woke up a bit more as they got to know each other, iyswim. It would be a fabulous story.
evilgiraffe82 chapter 1 . 2/21/2011
This was a quiet story, and an interesting choice of direction for a “hot lemon” contest, given the pacing and setting. It works really well, though, with Bella's lack of social life, and the way she's given up on finding someone to share her life with is drawn very well. Given this isolation, her sudden fascination with the stranger is understandable, where is would be peculiar from someone with a life less empty. I found it slightly odd that they ended up getting down and dirty on the sand, though – it's an incredibly risky thing to do, for both of them. It feels hurried, and I wonder if this story was originally intended to go this way. I'd love to see where these two go next, though – will they see each other again, and I especially want to find out what actually happened with Mike anyway? There is a lot of story ready to be told here, which is impressive for a short one-shot – great job!
hilde1982dance chapter 1 . 2/21/2011

I really enjoyed reading your short story. Can't wait to read your next story!

DarkBlueBella chapter 1 . 2/20/2011
I love the journey that Bella is on in this story. We hear about how her life has come to a standstill and then a very unexpected, and hot, encounter leads us to imagine that everything is about to change for her.

You have lots of wonderful phrases in your writing, for example -'Reality smashed into her brain with a crunch'. Well done on a great one shot.
reve2weaver chapter 1 . 2/14/2011
I liked the slow build of Bella’s characterization. You could feel her restlessness and this made her capitulation not only believable, but damn sexy too. By choosing just the right details of Edward, her shoulders, her bold look, at the edge looking hungry and his bourbon in a flask, all did wonders to feed his mystery and made this os slow burn. The clincher was the last line. Loved it.
emmzac chapter 1 . 1/26/2011
HOT dangerous beach sex with a stranger. It was beautiful in a strange sexual sence. The unknown, the need, want and desire met and taken care of by a stranger. You left this open and left us with a question to be answered. Nice job.
tilly77 chapter 1 . 1/13/2011
Wow! I think this is so beautifully written. The atmosphere you create draws you in, you can feel how despondent Bella is in this story, but then a lovely hopeful ending!
brokende chapter 1 . 1/13/2011
Wow. This is so very exciting: slightly dangerous, almost anonymous sex on the beach with a gorgeous Edward is every girl's fantasy. Or it should be, the way you've written it! Hot and frantic and very, very satisfying.

But the lemon isn't even my favorite part of this story. I loved the bleak beginning, the atmospheric descriptions of Bella's stagnant state. I felt myself right inside the flat with her, standing next to her while she surveys her existence. And even though her evaluation is negative, I feel hopeful for her. She's stuck, but she's not done. She's lost, but she's open to being found. I like this Bella; there are great things waiting patiently for her, I'm sure.

The hot lemon is only the beginning.
Omi-Omi chapter 1 . 1/12/2011
I like how you describe Bella as 'crumpled somehow'. It's a great way to describe someone who's had a real blow to their self-confidence. I felt you really captured her loneliness.

And then... phew! Lonely no more. Hot stuff.
spookshowangel chapter 1 . 1/11/2011
this story really picks up pace as it goes on, starting off slow and uneventful but by the end really catches your attention and pulls you in.

you can feel the main characters desperation for something different to happen to her, which leads her to do this thing that she might ordinarily not do if she had more in her life. i love the ending, brought a smile to my face.