Reviews for Hideaki Wins
Amles80 chapter 5 . 11/28/2012
Hm. This story makes me a bit confused. My first reaction was that you might not have given a lot of thought about how to write a story... But the characters' actions and reactions are somewhat recognizeable but also exaggerated in a way that makes me think this actually a parody. If I'm reading it wrong, I apologize. But even so, I think it would be better with proper dialogue, narrative voice, morce spaces, etc. (I agree with another reviewer that it kind of feels like an outline or sketch.) There is a certain flow in the writing, after all.
ItsHidingInsideMe chapter 1 . 4/12/2011
uhmmm the writing is abit off but i like the story
LadyAzelas chapter 5 . 3/28/2011
This is just to cute. _ And strangely enough I can see it happening.
GenvieveWoolf chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
So I read the prologue and glanced at the rest. I gotta say, this looks more like an outline or sketch, or even a journal entry than a story. Where's the dialogue? Where's the narrative voice? I don't plan to read the rest because I can't stand present tense unless it's done very well, but I will give you kudos since there doesn't seem to be much fanfic for this anime/manga yet. Keep writing, but work on your technique a bit. Good luck!