|Reviews for And When the Earth Shall Claim Your Limbs|
| Malirunic chapter 24 . 3/2
Oh. My God. Oh my GOD. HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING, I'm still in shock over how AMAZING this fic was. I'm prostrating myself at your virtual feet right now, I'm so in awe of your writing.
I legit was damn close to being one of those reviewers who reviewed every damn chapter as they read because that is what I really wanted to do to express the AWE I felt reading, but I decided that'd be obnoxious so I didn't. Are you ready for my obnoxiously long end-review instead? No? Too bad.
First thing that I fell in love with was your portrayal of 10-year-old Malik. Damn on spot for a 10-year-old, and taking into account cultural differences of twelfth century Syria to boot. (Not that I would know anything about how accurate that was, but it was nonetheless enjoyable.)
In general, your observance of cultural differences, especially in the early chapters, was superb. Whether or not they were accurate, they were much appreciated.
The way you portrayed language difficulties- first in Malik's studies with Dai Faraj and especially later while Malik was imprisoned by Templars- was SO FANTASTIC. Assassin's Creed is a tricky universe with regards to language, and you were juggling several while acknowledging the fact that no, your basic Crusader does not speak a lick of Arabic.
The way you write action is INCREDIBLE. Your portrayal of the assassins' learning process wasn't "Altair-the-prodigy-at-age-ten-beats-the-shit-out-of-all-the-master-assassins" ridiculous (which is kind of the impression the game gives? Maybe?). You write clumsiness well, and grace even more beautifully. And your fight scenes- beautiful. Just GORGEOUS. Altair and Malik are DANCING when you write them in a duel. I know how hard fights are to write, and too often they end up as either spurts of action interspersed with dialogue to add personality, or as one long stream of action devoid of characterization. (Kind of like sex scenes in fanfiction, actually.) You did far more than avoid that trap. Your fights were BEAUTIFUL. Compelling, edge-of-my-seat, and full of the personalities of the characters.
Your writing style itself is glorious. You manage to successfully balance humor, plot, action, and angst at all the right moments. And there is, of course, the fact that your story never allows me to forget that this trio's beautiful life will inevitably come crashing down at Solomon's Temple. We all saw what was coming, it was obvious none of the main characters would die before game canon, but I was biting my nails at so many points anyway.
But the star of your story- character development. Holy shit, that character development. I have honest to god NEVER seen THAT AMOUNT and THAT LEVEL of beautiful, gradual, raw character development in a fanfiction before in my life (and I have been reading fanfiction for a damn long time). Malik's transition from the 10-year-old shepherd to deadly pretty-much-Master Assassin to bitter game-canon Dai is gradual and smooth, so much so that I had to pause every now and then and realize, shit, this boy has GROWN. He never stops being Malik, though, and that 10-year-old shepherd is always clearly inside. Altair, too, develops in a way I didn't think was possible without huge out-of-characterness from game-canon Altair (who is pretty much always stoic and, let's face it, not really that deep). Your Altair is recognizable as the one we know from the games, yet has so much DEPTH. Even Kadar changes bit by bit from the 6-year-old, despite Malik's limited, biased view.
So basically what this comes down to is that I love this story a lot and I love you. As I've just proven, I could write whole ESSAYS on your fanfiction here. Willingly. Just, wow. Now I am going to shut up because this is a truly obscenely long review, like I'm pretty sure I'm breaking a couple site records here. I'm going to wisely NOT begin reading the sequel tonight (which I am SO PUMPED ABOUT OH MY GOD) because I have to be up early tomorrow and starting your next story tonight would be Not Smart. But look forward to another similar (though hopefully shorter) review on the sequel in a few days/hours. Or, you know, don't look forward. It's coming anyway.
Safety and peace (though this story deprives me of both),
| iamaspidermonkey chapter 24 . 1/20
I recently played through the first Assassin's Creed, and working my way through the others now. But my want to explore more about Altair and Malik was not satisfied...as I had been on the outskirts the fandom for years...but only recently could I actually play the games and fully dive in. I am so glad I came upon your fanfic.
And just...thank you. Thank you for writing this. It has been a long time since I have read a fanfiction until the wee hours of the morning, and I was afraid I had lost the passion. To be absorbed and in love with the words of an author. Just...thank you. I'm still reeling for the end, so I apologize that this isn't a more coherent review.
I loved it. I look forward to reading the sequel. I look forward to reading more of you work. Thank you.
| EngulfedInFlames chapter 24 . 10/29/2013
Gosh, I cried like a baby! It's such a good story. You. Are. Amazing! So much detail. I could almost feel the pain.
| Cookie.Killer chapter 24 . 10/12/2013
Beyond description. Astonishingly beautiful. Stunning. I... I have no words to describe how this master piece made me feel.
I loved every word of it, and I really meant it. thank you so much for writing this awesome story. This easily goes into my list of best fanfics I've read in all my life.
And I'll read the sequel too, obviously.
I cannot give you a full review since I've been reading this for nearly two weeks, and there are so many things to say that I think it's better if I say none.
Well, thank you very much again for giving this to me. And I agree with you; Assassin's Creed fandom is awesome :')
Til next time! Take care!
| Snubel chapter 24 . 10/9/2013
... You can't be that cruel and never write a sequel to this story.
I was devouring this story - nobody has ever written such a good description of how the arrogant, selfish, unapproachable Akltair and the only one, who will ever be as good as him, Malik, could get together in such a difficult, self-injuring and heartbreaking way...!
Damn, I even had some tears in my ears when I read about Kadar dying in his brothers arms...
- this story is too good (way too good) to end now (and I guess you even know it by yourself);
At least you'd have to write about the next years - Altair changes a lot in his years as an unwillingly novice, he becomes more humanly, less selfish; maybe he will be someone who can understand Malik.
I'm just BEGGING you to write another - chapter? Story? - cause this is not acceptable for me at all...! :/
| Demonic Storm chapter 24 . 9/20/2013
There are little words I can type that will describe the multitude of thoughts running wild in my head at the moment. Despite the fact it took me a shameful 3 days to read very well... Amazingly well written 24 chapters. (Prologue and epilogue included in the sum) my mind is truly boggled by the unique story that was developed
Super congrats on an amazing story!
Your writing as always is a work of art
| AgentOklahoma chapter 24 . 8/14/2013
Oh my god this story hurt so much. You're an amazing person and I'm in love with this fanfiction. Poor Altair and poor Malik T_T
| orgxiii4ever chapter 24 . 8/7/2013
Oh my god... I read this in one day and i have to say it's amazing. The beginning was a bit boring but the middle and last part was amazing. I loved how they'r relationship went on. And How possessive Altair was..
The ending thou left me speechless. I feel so bad for Altair. I hope their relationship continues thou, like Kadar wanted to (?) And that Abbas motherfucker i hate him _ And those were some rude names he called Altair and i think Altair really loved him from the beginning... I love the first kissing scenes and how they first had *cough* /
Im im love with this story & i'm clad you wrote it. :3 Such a beautiful storyline and writing. Thanks 3
| jouchan269 chapter 24 . 7/31/2013
Dear words without,
I am writing to tell you that I've come out of a non-reviewing period of five years because of this story. It's hard to express just how great an impression it's left on me. Let me try and list the ways that this story stands head and shoulders above pretty much any Creed fanfic I've ever read:
- The characterization of, well, pretty much every character. It's rare to read something in which the psychology of not just major character choices, but everyday behavioral quirks, is this well-thought out and traceable by the reader. Just an offhand example, the bumbling way in which Kadar talks and moves and basically breathes makes Malik's totally patronizing protection of him not only understandable but (gasp!) sympathetic from a reader's vantage point.
- Altair's characterization deserves a special mention. Your portrayal of him - not quite human on a variety of levels, from his upbringing to his, erm, "appetites," to his utter incomprehension of emotion - isn't something I remember seeing in any other story I've read, and I wonder why that is because this Altair just makes so much sense. He has a gazillion layers and you as the reader can see all of them: you are exasperated by his...arrogance is not even the word for it, you occasionally hate him for his presumption, you are awed by his abilities but leery of believing he deserves your admiration, yet you comprehend and even pity him for his childhood (if it can indeed be called that), and shrug off his eccentrisms (wearing the cowl during sex? really?).
- The dynamic between Malik and Altair, oh /god/. This sort of mutual obsession is what made the story richly, shiveringly satisfying for me to read. Malik really comes alive in his struggle to figure out what Altair means to him, and it is entertaining/soul-wrenching to watch him bust his brain trying to define what they have, deny it, accept it, defend it to others, lie to himself and then in the back of his mind acknowledge his lying. Special points for his parenthetical soliloquies, which were sometimes amusing and sometimes a sucker punch to read. Even more points for bringing Kadar in as the very reluctant third wheel, unwitting (YMMV?) source of tension/conflict, and the foil to Malik's relationship with Altair. Malik lives to protect and is compelled to control his brother, while he can only react to Altair and fights their bond every other step of the way. Them as a triumvirate was fascinating, and I admit that the conclusion to Kadar discovering the other two's affair was a serious moment of heartwarming.
- I don't think a story has ever made me this excited about witnessing explosive, destructive, emotionally devastating arguments. (And there were so many, mmm...) Nor has an epilogue ever been so much the antithesis of a staid Happy Ever After. I was hanging on the edge of my seat waiting for Malik to tear his erstwhile partner/lover/whatever apart, and it completely didn't disappoint. Now I'll just have to start in on the sequel, if only to witness their delicious reunion...
Finally, no apologies are necessary for the door-stopper length of the chapters. If it was possible I would have read this all in one sitting and not regretted the eye-strain for a heartbeat (unfortunately day jobs exist...). And this means it was only fitting I write you a novella-length review in return.
But in all seriousness. Thank you for writing this. It was a marvel.
| spicybleachedhead chapter 24 . 5/30/2013
What is this witchcraft, this story is so compelling it's not worth of not being canon. Srsly, best fanfic I've ever read from any fandom, and I've read a LOT of fics.
I don't even know what to say. I'm just wallowing in my Kadar feelings and jumping on to the sequel. And Malik! Why so masochistic, that idiot! And Altair, another idiot! A child, immature and dangerous because little he knows of normal feelings a human bears. And he now experiences them and doesn't know what to do with them now that there isn't anyone to stand by his side. Such good characterisation! Such depth! You are an awesome writer, I applaud you.
| XJack'sPearlX chapter 24 . 5/12/2013
This story...was perfect...
| Deliciously Delirious chapter 24 . 5/10/2013
It's two am and I can't stop fucking crying and holy shit that was the greatest thing I have ever fucking read in my entire life! I just...GAH! The voice, the structure, the character insight, /the promises/! You've taken Malik being a damaged character and just scraps of exposure to him and built him into a /person/ who feels pain and /anger/ and betrayal! I apologize if I sound like another crazy fan who sees fiction in a far too real way, but holy SHIT! There are tears and I'm shaking and GAHHHH!
| usersk chapter 24 . 4/30/2013
That was incredible. I was so hooked the whole time!
| Guest chapter 24 . 3/21/2013
Well... damn. I've been reading fanfiction for a while, and its so damn refreshing to read such an excellent story.
That being said, I couldn't help but see the comments of a fellow reviewer, who just happens to be a homophobic piece of motherf***** s*** who spends all their time hating on works he wish he could write. All great stuff has haters though so...
This story makes me want to play AC again. Thanks for writing :)
| kleeve chapter 24 . 3/17/2013
This story has officially broken my life. I knew this wasn't going to be some happy lovey dovey story and that's precisely the reason I love it so much, but UGHHH I have so many emotions. Part of me wishes Malik could have become a Master Assassin with Altair and they'd be together like Altair wanted but part of me is also screaming "NOOOOOO KADAR WHY." I can't even write a proper review I'm so upset and emotional. This is what fanfiction does to me.
I love the way you write. You have such an eloquent use of words that really helps to give the story a mature a refined feel. Altair's characterization is absolutely brilliant (especially considering his lack of character in the game, there's not much to work with!). Altair's "proclamation" or whatever you would call it was amazing. He's obviously not going to burst out with "I love yous" and I just feel like his method of talking about Malik and him fighting together forever and Malik belonging to him was really true to the personality you gave him. Argh, it's hard to put into words... I guess I'm trying to say that I'm typically drawn to sappy love stories so the fact that I was drawn to this rough-exterior-not-acknowledging-my-feelings-relationship really goes to show how talented of a writer your are.
I think it is so neat how you formed this entire prequel to the game and managed to fit it in to the events that begin the game. And oh gosh, when they got the orders to go to Solomon's Temple almost -immediately- after Malik turned down the promotion, I nearly screamed. It was perfect. It made it all fit together and the reference to Al Mualim scowling down at Altair and Kadar, like, AL MUALIM IS THIS WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN SCHEMING...or at least that's what I got from it.
This story is just so perfect. It's hard to look at the characters now because I've pretty much accepted your story as canon! Wonderful job!