Reviews for Bambinos
Chiyo Shino'oka chapter 1 . 4/16/2012
Whoa! This was incredibly well-written! The vocabulary you used blew me away. It's not often that you find writers on here who are this good. Not to mention that there are very few non-yaoi stories for Oofuri. (Not that I mind yaoi... :P) But anyways, PLEASE continue this story. It was beautifully written, and I really want to know how things turn out in the end!
Kunaigirl chapter 1 . 10/20/2011
Yay there actually is another story with as one of the main characters one of the girls! So Happy! And then one as good as this! Heaven! Please write more! Pretty Please? Loved the story! Keep on going!
VenomousButterfly chapter 1 . 6/15/2011
How could this not have any reviews? This is amazing and fun to read! IMO You've kept all the characters IC throughout the fic. I could totally "hear" each character (dub voices, of course). The things that Tajima says and does are spot on. I LOL'd several times while reading this. This was an instant fave for me.

Only two things to critique for improvement: 1) either put the direct thoughts-the ones with "he thinks" tags-in italics or quotation marks (it's more common to use italics than quotation marks though). This is totally a style thing and you don't have to do it, but I found it helps set them aside from the rest of the text and lowers any possible confusion between thoughts and narration. 2) be careful with the POV. I had a difficult time figuring out whether you were writing it from 3rd-person limited (for example, just from Abe's POV but without him narrating it using "I") or 3rd-person omniscient (which means we readers see everyone's thoughts & emotions as if we were an all-knowing being, and is a POV that is harder to write IMO)...just learned about this in my college creative writing class so I'm starting to see it in others' writing. You seemed to be wavering between both types of POV and it confused me a little.

I still think it's great. I just wanted to offer those suggestions to make this even better.