|Reviews for Hit and Kiss|
| Annabeth The Unicorn chapter 1 . 8/15/2011
Isn't it Maya? Great story, please update soon!
| Lady Monochromic chapter 1 . 3/12/2011
So far so good. It's set very differently to the Phoenix wright games but I like how you've done it :)
| engage thy class chapter 1 . 2/6/2011
ahahaha. im liking it so far ~ . good buildup to a little mystery.
keep on writing, y / y ?
| Gumdrop Boo - Ch4rms chapter 1 . 1/30/2011
So I gave this a gandering and I would say that I don't have much authority on plot since it's a crossover and I have no idea who these people are. Some parts elicited a chuckle i.e. the Fish sticks and the anecdote about Ema being obsessed with Scientists every week.
However there a few grammar errors, near the end you mean to write [I think you do] 'quiet' regarding how Anders acts but it is written as 'quite' both times. Your beta needs to a better job :p
Also I think that Phoenix's thoughts aren't very well received in the middle of sentences in parenthesis, that formatting is hard on the reader in my opinion. There are better ways to make those clearer and have more of a humorous impact if you re-format them. I'd suggest Italics, and on their own line, because they can break free of their parenthesis and yet are clearly different i.e. separate thoughts than the actual narration.
Speaking of formatting, the dates and times are kind of lost, perhaps some bold text or page breaks might help those stand out.
Lastly I will say that this gives me a taste of the parody noir narration and if you plan on following that, I think so far you've done good with the added humor and smarms from the Protagonist.
I am confused though how this HTTYD is involved but if 'Anders' is actually 'Hiccup' then I'm less confused. I guess you've succeeded in the 'mystery' part of it ;)
Oh and I appreciated some of the back story at the beginning coming into it.
Oh and why do lawyers have badges? I thought that was only cops...
| Jaaku-san chapter 1 . 1/28/2011
I am intrigued. :D I hope you continue this.
| zara2148 chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
Yay! You posted it. I'M REVIEWING, MAN! I'M REVIEWING!