|Reviews for Falling Away|
| akuroku4eva chapter 21 . 6/25/2013
Poor xion... i cried at the part where i read how her mother died... :.(
| ThatCrazyGirlReading chapter 1 . 6/19/2013
Hello I have read this story but I would like to tell you that you are the first person to introduce me to yaoi and I thought it was a little weird at first ( not my fault it was new to me!) But its awesome it has brought me to read hundreds of yaoi five and start fan clubs with my friends so with a further a do I present you this giant cookie the size of america and a certificate of being the first to make me obsessed with something like this thank you have a nice day. - mewmew aka kingdomMew aka south aka Italy aka sora those are all my nicknames
| godlet chapter 32 . 2/23/2013
The ending seemed almost rushed, but...
Godamn I love this story.
| Guest chapter 17 . 11/12/2012
rawwr! i dies when sora said "i'll sit on riku's lap, and roxas will sit on your lap!" to axel. X_X
| Guest chapter 14 . 11/11/2012
THATS FREAKING KREEPY
| BarefootKoneko chapter 32 . 9/18/2012
I loveeeddd this story. I'm so glad Axel finally remembered everything. One thing though.. Nothing ever happened with Axel's mom. Still, all my free time was spent staring at my screen reading this story and I can't wait to read the sequel :D
| INACTIVE- DELETED ACCOUNT chapter 1 . 8/7/2012
I'm the fourth-hundredth reviewer.
I just want to say that tonight, I'm going to read this entire fanfiction, and then I'm going to review again, congratulating you on how good this is.
I know it'll be good, it's AkuRoku for god's sake! :D
Thanks for writing this, I know I'm gonna enjoy it. :3 x
| breaking6883 chapter 33 . 7/13/2012
OMG I LOVED it! Thank you SOOOO much! :D I cried A LOT!
| gleekforever63 chapter 32 . 7/1/2012
Loved this sooo much! This chapter almost brought me to tears with the memory loss! The story was so fantastic! Definitely one of my favorite stories ever
| memexheartsx chapter 33 . 6/8/2012
i just cannot wait for the sequel! :)
| RANguilty13 chapter 30 . 6/6/2012
My real review on the story itself is at the bottom xD Not sure if you'll read all this, or any, but oh well
You mentioned earlier that if we could correct your Spanish, specially since you were using Google translater, we should leave a review with it. I remember I saw another mistake or two in previous chapters, but I'm too lazy to look for them now xD if I had been your beta for this, it would have been different though I speak Portuguese, English and Spanish fluently, so I'm sure of what I'm saying next but consider them nothing more than suggestions.
Anyway, here goes:
When Axel's mum says "Oh mi dios, oh mi dios, oh mi dios." it should be "Dios mio". I suppose you translated "Oh my god" directly, but this is the correct and most common way to say it.
When Axel says "Sí, por supuesto voy a seguir Roxas seguro.", it translates into "Yes, of course I'll follow Roxas safe.". It should probably be "Sí, por supuesto que voy a mantener a Roxas seguro." or "Sí, por supuesto que mantendré a Roxas seguro.". I'd strongly suggest the latter.
After, when Axel's mum says "Y es posible que desee tenerlo en su casa por unos días", this translates as "And it's possible that you will want/desire to have him in your house for a few days". If that was what you intended, I have no objection, although it doesn't sound "right" to me. If you meant something like "And if possible, keep him in/let him stay at your house for a few days" it should be "Y se fuese posible, deje que se quede en su casa por unos días".
In Axel's reply "Sí, señora. Tenemos que seguir adelante, pero, uh, gracias por tu ayuda", "tu" should be "su", which is a little more formal. The translation would be "Yes, ma'am. We have to move on but, uh, thanks for your help", but the "we have to move on" seems out of place and I don't know what you meant. If that's what you wanted then it's correct, but if not, as I suppose Google is to blame again, I guess you meant something along the line of "We have to get going", which would be "Tenemos que irnos (ahora)". "Ahora" is optional, it means now
About this story... Overall, I enjoyed it immensely, to be honest. Although in a good portion of it I thought Roxas' actions were censurable, at best. Maybe it's because I understood his feelings all too well but wouldn't have acted like that if facing these situations. Not that I've been through something like this, my parents love me but I've had a depression for a few years, that I'm recovering from, and for the most part, I felt and kind of acted like him.
Another thing I didn't understand was his relationship with Sora, why so much hatred? And how he never accepted or even conceived that maybe Sora and Kelly did care for him and wanted to help, but I guess it's just the way you built the character.
I found the pranks excessive. Really. But there are people like that...
And here's hoping Oscar rots in prison, to say the least.
I'm off to read the last chapter then good job!
| Naomi chapter 32 . 6/5/2012
As soon as I find my account login info, this is going under my favorites! But honestly though... You did a wonderful job with this.
My favorite element was the progression and how you went about it. You found a pace and stuck with it. Not to fast, not to slow. It was perfect. I think the pace you had was very important because it added to the realness of your story. (Realness? That sounds weird...) Everything seemed to be revealed at the right time, all the secrets, all the dirt, and all the love.
To me, pace is key, and is almost always a deciding factor. Your an amazing writer and I hope you stick with it. I look forward to a sequel. _-
| iCatastrophic H U G S chapter 32 . 6/4/2012
I stayed up all night last night to read this. From 11 pm to 6 am, I was hooked through the entire story. It is so beautifully written and- wait, that can wait. I just want to tell you right away that this isn't a critique or anything, it's just me gushing because I don't have anyone to gush to and I feel like building up your self-esteem because you're an amazing writer and I feel like you deserve a lot of compliments.
Let me start by saying that I love how you made these characters. Every Akuroku fanfiction that I read makes Roxas a huge crybaby and can't take care of himself and he's all, "Wah, wah. Cut myself. I hate my life." In THIS story, he wasn't completely helpless and that made me extremely happy. I love Roxas with all my heart, he is my absolute favorite character, and this fanfiction did him SOOOO much justice. I also LOVE that Axel wasn't the big, scary, tough guy, with a loving soft side, and he didn't say "I love you" to Roxas in the first three chapters (If he says I love you within the first three chapters of a fanfiction, I stop reading, because the story would have no where to go from there xD). Seriously though, I love the characters and they have actual, realistic personalities! Except, you know, Xion, and I understand you don't like her. That is completely your opinion and I'm glad that even though you hate her, you put her in the story. I like Xion, but in the story, I hated her. I don't know if that was your intention or not, but really. Whadda bitch.
Ugh. I'm so in love with this writing. You have no idea how much I absolutely am in love with this story. If you don't write the 'sequel' or whatever it is, I will cry, because this story just needs more. xD Don't get me wrong, I thought the ending was complete and cute and just the right amount of fluffy, but no one wants a good story to end, right? Oh! I almost forgot! I loved how some things were only implied and weren't told straight out. I love guessing in stories (what's more is, I love when I'm right when I guess!) and this fanfiction made me think more than I usually do. ****SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER**** I mean, you never came right out and said that Roxas was being abused by his dad. Like when Axel asked if Clyde did it and Roxas, in his mind, was like, Oh yeah! Perfect! There were little hints that implied that his dad was abusive, but I loved that I never completely knew if it was happening until towards the end. xD
I'm probably over-thinking it (maybe we were all SUPPOSED to know, or maybe it only happened once or whatever) but still. That's how my mind processed it.
Not to mention the fact that this story wracked my heart. I think I had tears from chapter 4 until like chapter 6. xD AND THE ENDING! I BAWLED. Literally streams of manly tears poured from my eyes. At the same time, I wanted to punch something. Why couldn't Larxene have been driving? Damn her and her bitchy ways. That's another thing I love! I like being able to get into a story and actually have feelings. Like, me crying, okay, I cry a lot when I'm reading, but that's because they're all good writings! I mean, I can't cry if I read a shitty story. This was so beautifully written that...well, there really aren't words, let's be honest.
Alright! My gushing is done! You write beautifully and I hope you continue to write because really...it's just amazing. You are just...an awesome person. And now I'll leave
| Uqluiorra12345 chapter 33 . 6/4/2012
OOOOHHHHHH THIS IS GOING TO BE AMAZING *O*
| PrettyWilde chapter 33 . 6/3/2012
Wow, I am sorry I never left a review on this story. I found and read it ages ago before I had an account and forgot the title when I finally did create one; anyhow I am very excited to hear you are doing a sequel, I really loved this story.
I adore the way you really took the time to develop the relationships in the story- not just Axel and Roxas, but how everyone interacted with one another. That being said I genuinely enjoyed how the main characters were portrayed (honestly, I can't get over how enthralled I was with the way you wrote Roxas and Axel). In most high school AU's that I have come across it gets to a point beyond believability, but that was not the case here (though some characters were a bit over-dramatic, it came across as endearing). The fact that the romance was slow going was adorable and made it seem more genuine, which was admirable as most authors get to a point where they just want to speed things along.
Your writing style is intriguing and funny, not too mention the grammar and spelling were pretty good (any mistakes I noticed were minor and didn't detract from the story for me). The plot of this story was something most can relate to but still kept the reader longing for more and then of course twists were thrown in too.
I won't ramble much longer, I honestly have nothing bad to say about this and I anxiously await the sequel and can't wait to see what you have in store this time (the preview was very enticing)!