|Reviews for Two Youths, Cast Off|
| July Storms chapter 1 . 5/13
Gotta agree with one of your reviewers: this was written very well, technically-speaking. It's a pretty piece. But even I'm kind of at a loss as to the point of it; it almost felt like it ought to exist in another universe for different characters, because there's something lacking (or maybe too much that just isn't connecting for me).
I think my favorite part was probably the unsettlingness she felt as he expressed excitement looking over her tattoo-hoping it didn't mean what it did, really. Praying she'd made the right choice. Ah, my heart. I didn't need it anyway!
| Taayluur chapter 1 . 2/15/2012
| UrgeToDance chapter 1 . 10/17/2011
Ooh, so beautifully written! I'm speechless...
| Perennial Rhinitis chapter 1 . 7/19/2011
I liked the alliterations you included in the story, it gave Riza's point-of-view a different tone. The story itself gave a different view of their relationship pre-Ishbal. I wish their story were explored more in canon.
| jejune stars chapter 1 . 6/7/2011
omg this was terrific
| Disastergirl chapter 1 . 2/6/2011
I can't believe I haven't reviewed this sooner, seeing as it was written partly for me. I am a terrible person and I do not deserve nice things like fics. D:
Anyway... Mebbhy, I don't really know what to say about this except to say that it is perfect. You write every single sentence so beautifully, this fic feels like a little work of art. I love how you've written Roy and Riza here, you've really shown their innocence and their youth, how lost they are but also how hopeful and sincere.
"I think... I would make you my wife, Riza Hawkeye. But you have no father for me to ask, or to walk you down the aisle. And I have no mother to fuss over you and force you into her own wedding dress. Besides - " he smiled bitterly. She could tell. "My life is no longer my own - you could say, now I am married to Amestris. I have made her my bride."
Oh Roy... and this is so something he would say. He's a romantic at heart, in every sense of the word. It's so heartbreaking to see them like this, before Ishval and everything that happened, so convinced that they're doing right.
And just... all the little details you've put in, like the woman who kept the sweets in her pinafore, who Riza remembers wasn't her mother after all, and the scarecrow that they made when they were children, back when they were too young to realise there was no point to making it. I loved how you compared them building the scarecrow to burying her father. Just with that line, you managed to make what is presumably a happy childhood memory sound so sinister.
The cornflowers running throught the story are lovely too. I particularly like this bit: "In his arms, she dreamt of bright indigo cornflowers and how men had taken to wearing them in their buttonholes to show that they were in love. When the blue faded, so too did their affections. But the cornflowers grew in the field with the scarecrow every year."
Also, i really want to know what accent (if any) you had in mond for Roy when Riza said she loved his accent. Tell me pleaseeee? *big eyes*
| Starry Pink chapter 1 . 1/23/2011
That was lovely! :D
| Felarof chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
love this. your stories are consistently amazing! There's definitely more reasons why they can't get together than the frat law so it's good to see you explore it.
| Miskcat chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
Oh, how beautiful this is! I loved it. I did wonder, too, why he felt he couldn't marry her. But I could easily believe that he was already beginning to suspect that his military experience would not be as positive as he'd expected it to be. Or maybe he felt himself tainted because he was now thoroughly schooled in such dangerous alchemy or something.
But whatever the reasons, this was very beautiful and sad. Well done!
| TheSoundofYourVoice chapter 1 . 1/18/2011
You're a beautiful writer, your English teacher must love you XD
I loved it...it was very poetic.
| LilDemonWarrior chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
I finally feel confortable enough with to review one of your stories (which I all consider amazing, by the way).
Wonderful description and story as usual. I especially loved how you introduced it :)
| maryh10000 chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
But I don't understand why he didn't think he could marry her. At this point, he doesn't have Ishval to atone for, and I don't see how his ideal at that time of strengthening Amestris precluded marriage. Nor how her lack of a father or his lack of a mother precluded it.
It does seem to me that he took advantage of her sadness for a kind of comfort for both of them which put her much more at risk than him.
| DarkSecretKeeper chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
Well hello to you you leprchorn (and let's face it - you're small enough to be one XD) HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU TO!
awww Hawkeye...I really felt for her in this...I can't help feeling a little resentful of Roy either. I didn't nessessarily (i can't spell) agree with him or his actions.
also...i struggle to read any fic you write with Mustang in it without thinking of pineapples...
| ssadropout chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
This was so beautiful, so sad, and so horrifying since we know what those two youths got themselves into.
| IvyShort chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
Ohhhh, that was moving.