|Reviews for The Enemy|
| randomobsession123 chapter 11 . 12/9/2012
Please update! (and put Edgar through more pain) MN nl
| randomobsession123 chapter 10 . 12/9/2012
I agree, Edgar's gonna have to buy new floorboards soon.
| randomobsession123 chapter 5 . 12/8/2012
I loved this chapter! Edgar was going through pain! (im just weird that way)
| randomobsession123 chapter 4 . 12/8/2012
It seems like Alan knows best.
| Sarah Kaneanite 85 chapter 11 . 6/7/2012
Love this! FINALLY Edger is a Vamp! Would love to see him one IF they do Lost Boys 4! Cant wait for a update!
| s chapter 10 . 11/19/2011
When will there be a new chapter? I love this story and I've been waiting for so long. Please make a new one soon!
| E. M. Morning chapter 10 . 9/29/2011
I'm sorry that I am so late with this!
Well, I don't have to tell you this, but I'm going to; this chapter is fantastic! You write the Frog brothers so well, one of the best one here. I love how stubborn Edgar can be! Poor thing, stuck as half vamp and noting being able to do anything about it. It must be torture.
I also really love the part where you were talking about "the monster shifting inside of him" and trying to convince Edgar to go after blood. It's a lovely bit- really shows his struggles.
The ending! Again!- hehe. I can't wait to see where this goes. I love the conflict between Edgar and Alan. Well, I hate that they're kind of fighting, but it's good for the story.
Great work as usual! You are a fantastic writer!
| Nightcrawlerlover chapter 8 . 9/25/2011
Brilliant and intriguing so far! :) I like it - especially this part:
People never change. Time goes on, fashions alter, the music leaking out of the bars gradually shifts over the decades into something else, but the people remain exactly the same. All preoccupied with the persist of alcohol, drugs, sex, something to make their lives that little bit less unbearable. It had been exactly the same in Santa Carla, older teens and younger adults hanging out on the boardwalk with cans of beer, going down onto the beach away from the bright lights to use illicit substances or steal a few minutes with some girl or guy they don't know.
Alan had hated it then, and time had done nothing to soften his opinion. He had never been like that, Edgar neither. They had no interest in achieving oblivion, rendering themselves defenseless against the monsters. Just the idea of it, of deliberately putting himself in a position where he was out of control, made him remember bloodlust and helplessness.
Two girls, barely out of their teens, staggered past on heels too high to walk. They gripped each other's arms tightly for support, giggling loudly at their own intoxication. Their skirts were short, revealing the maximum amount of leg possible, and their hair and make up, carefully fixed and applied at the beginning of the night were messy and smudged.
As they tottered across the road, they suddenly veered off to one side as though the ground under them had tilted unexpectedly. They managed to stop just before they fell, and continued on their way, laughing all the louder.
Alan sighed to himself. Some people were almost asking to get bitten. If they knew the truth, he wondered whether they would let their guard down so easily.
Neat job writing this chapter. :)
Keep up your super-neat, very cool and phenomenally creative writing! :)
| A Road Unturning chapter 10 . 9/25/2011
To think this was a chapter consisting of just one conversation, but what a *conversation." The jilting of emotions and mind screwing was present, creeping throughout in a highly effective timely fashion. The interaction was just so well done. And the ending...!
| R chapter 9 . 9/12/2011
When will you write a new chapter?
| R chapter 9 . 9/4/2011
This is the best fanfiction I've ever read.
| E. M. Morning chapter 9 . 9/3/2011
I was so so excited to see an update on this! I’ve really missed your work! I was just thinking about this story a week or so ago, and here is an update!
It’s just as wonderful as always! I absolutely love your half vampire Edgar. It’s one of the versions of him that I’ve seen, both human and supernatural. Even with all of the changes, he is still recognizable. It’s the same with your Alan! You get their voices so well.
And your endings. Reading a new chapter reminded me of the one thing that drove me crazy about your writing- the endings! They’re always leaving me in suspense, and it’s not fair! But they are good, so you are forgiven. I can’t wait to see what happens next.
Again, I’m so glad that you’re back to writing! You’re one of the best authors that I’ve read on here, out of all categories.
| A Road Unturning chapter 9 . 8/30/2011
"I'm a werewolf," she replied after a moment. Her hand squeezed his arm a little tighter. "Don't tell Edgar." - Damn straight.
Well, you've certainly reclaimed the stage with flying colours. That was a absloute firecracker of a chapter. The suspense and build up was great, with a good construction of mystery and character interaction. And a small stand out point - the empty cupboards relating to the old comic shop and passed out parents. Poignancy comes naturally to you, it seems.
Can't wait to see more!
| Jashin worshipping Jaganist chapter 9 . 8/29/2011
Great Chapter! So glad you updated :D
| The.Clown.That.Smiles chapter 7 . 5/13/2011
With the beginning bit, it almost seems as if there is still the vampire in Alan, like smoke left in the air, or the last remaining petal on a flower. He’s cured, but in the mind, he still feels connected to his old vampire self. That’s really frightening when you think about it, but I think it’s great, in a way, how you describe this. Going through something so brutal and torturous, knowing you’re not just human, but feeling more vampire, starved for blood, well, I’m sure that’d leave some scars when coming back fully human. Which you show this brilliantly, that no matter that he is human; it’s not ever going to go back to how it was before, how he was, whether Edgar was in this horrible nightmare or not.
The part with Alan venturing into the house really was nerve racking, yet it made me feel miserable. As you describe everything, from rot, too things broken, dust, it all gives this fic a hopeless feeling, almost like the sky is always dark, full of black clouds, never no light. It’s just miserable, despairing, cold, and hopeless. Also with the whole tasting and feeling evil, where it had long been, it’s an interesting thing to use. That vampires will go to places where evil has been, more specifically places where other vampires had been before, almost like the evil calls to the evil, as a friend, like they’re connected to anything with badness.
I like the relationship that is slowly budding with Zoe and Alan; they’re a perfect match for friendship in a way. Both don’t express how they feel; the fear, hurt...And both are determined too fight, to help Edgar in any way. I really like what you’ve done with Zoe’s character. I envy how you write her; it makes my portrayal of her sucky!
Damn, you show how Edgar is struggling so bloody gut wrenching and saddening. How he fights the vampire inside; though a shred of him slowly sinks into it, the hunger being the main one. Though I love him still remaining strong, it annoys me that he keeps holding out on drinking the animal blood. Of course Edgar doesn’t want to do anything that will show the vampire he is, but I hate him suffering with the thirst.
Anyway, brilliant chapter! Great to come back and read this!