|Reviews for All Along|
| CommanderBrofaceMcWomanizer chapter 1 . 11/15/2014
This was adorable, I really enjoyed the ending for one. I really like this pairing and I think you wrote them both wonderfully (and I love the connections you made! Very nicely done).
| Guby-san chapter 1 . 7/8/2012
| L.C. Li chapter 1 . 3/3/2012
Sweet and beautiful and timeless. Love. :)
| Krad-Eelav chapter 1 . 9/4/2011
Thank you for writing one of those fics that makes my heart ache; outstandingly done. It's probably the most in-character I've seen these two, especially with the attention regarding their relationship. It's not pure romantic love, it's not pure friendship - it's something in between that's still so natural for them.
As another reviewer said, what really makes this shine is the little headcanons (that will now be stuck in my head, thanks! xD).
I really appreciated the part with ShiharamHaar's struggle with telling Jill the truth about laguz, it's barely touched on in the games, but it's such a massive part of the character development of Jill that it feels wrong when it's neglected. Makes her more human with regrets, almost.
I'd love to see a sequal to their fic about being leaders of Talrega together, seems like you'd be able to pull it off. Or maybe a reunion with some of the GM / crackthought.
| TheFreelancerSeal chapter 1 . 2/25/2011
At first when I learned about Jill and Haar marrying, I didn't think much of it. I don't know why, I just didn't think of them as husband and wife. But I think in part to fan fics like these, I'm beginning to warm up to the idea. I liked all the little moments in this. I thought you wrote them very well, even the very short moments were enough. I got worried when Jill's wyvern fell. When I first read this, I thought she might die. (yeah I read it once before, now I'm getting around to the review) I also was surprised that Jill made the first move at the end. I thought it was very in character considering Haar's, I don't want to say lazy, but it's the only word I can think of, personality. All in all, I really enjoyed this. And congrats on warming me up to the Haar/Jill paring.
| R Amythest chapter 1 . 2/5/2011
Despite being 7500 words or so, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this piece was too quick for what it wanted to do. *shot* Not that it necessarily needs more words. Perhaps it could carry itself in 7500 words if they were spent differently. Overall, I reach the end feeling that I've meandered there with a tour guide who wants to urge me back on the bus before I've gotten out my camera. I find myself wanting for more in the middle. The skip between "far from the battlefield" and "He'd always hated the way other men looked at Jill" and that scene and the next especially left me wanting - in my head I know there's a lot that goes on there, between Jill facing Talrega and her father, Haar defecting to the Crimean cause, and the end of the war. It seems a little odd for the story to sidle right up to the edge of Jill's leap of understanding and then immediately drag us onto the "Jill is hot" train. Another thing that magnifies that, I think, is the fact that the end spends quite a lot of time (and multiple scenes) going over a single incident, where we'd skipped years with haste before. Overall, I feel like I'm not invested enough, haven't went along with the developments enough to appreciate the weight of the ending (although it's well-composed). Pacing is my strongest and only significant gripe.
Smaller things I liked:
"You tell me, General. ... One day you said you were going to defect to Daein, and the next thing you know, everyone under your command decides to follow. General Shiharam, we'd have followed you anywhere." I feel like this line is incredibly canon somehow. It fits so well.
"Don't be. ... If I'd have known I'd get that kind of thank-you from you, I might have done that soo—" "I love you, Haar." This one too. I love Jill's blunted spitfire dominance in the end. I like the ending in general. Not a cop-out.
I liked a bunch of details: Haar's contagious yawning, instructions to support the neck, Haar not getting how a name could suit someone, Jill's trouble with r's, the inclusion of Lethe as if in reminder of how far she's come regarding her racism.
I feel like the thematic baggage (afraid he'd find a creature that looked ready to die / strangely tainted touching a new life / he had seen more than enough / glad that the innocent life could not see the ugliness) in the first scene was a bit too far on the blatant side, and isn't really followed up on either.
Canon: I feel like Haar's younger than 16 when Shihiram and co leave. In his battle conversation with Levail, he remarks that he was freshly knighted when Shihiram defected, and given FE's tendencies, I'd place that at an earlier age than 16. 14ish maybe. Assuming the first scene is in Begnion. I'm not sure. Also: "Instead, he talked her into switching sides. Again." I believe that the first time, it was Jill who talked him into switching sides, yes? Or am I forgetting something?
"Sometimes she was wise beyond her years; many times he'd had to remind himself that she was not as old as she pretended to be." I'm a little confused between the narration remarking upon Jill's wisdom and then Haar's remarks upon this being a pretense. Is Jill really wise, or is that just an appearance or a front? (Given the stage in her life relative to the laguz and whatnot, I'm inclined by canon toward the latter.)
2. Parallels. I did catch it when I scrolled back up, but I hadn't caught it naturally by reading down to the ending.
I think the strengths of this piece are in little bits of headcanon: Haar's eye, Jill's relationship with Shihiram (and how Shihiram's moral struggles affected it), the way they lived together before the second war. These human details do a lot for our ability to care about the characters beyond their roles as characters in a game. The time frame of this piece also reinforces the idea that Haar's truly been around Jill for an incomparably long time - her whole life. Cute stuff. Works to show their relationship in a loving light.
| ruumpleteazah chapter 1 . 1/21/2011
*raises hand* I so thought Haar was going to say it! XD
This is probably the best Jill/Haar fic you've written. You followed them from beginning to end, and the story was very passionate. By the way, when Shiharam said, "I send my own men out to hunt laguz, and my own daughter talks about slaughtering them every chance she gets.", I could only think of Jill's quote from Por, "Bleed the half-breed!" XD
I almost cried at the end. I swear, if Jill had died, I would be the saddest girl in the world right now. :(
I loved this. Waiting for more Jill/Haar to come!
| IsanTheWizard chapter 1 . 1/21/2011
I said I'd say another thing, u should write a long-fic (if u want, I think I'll write one bout Jill and Haar parallely to the one im writig now to join the contest)
u and kittenkatloren (if that is how it's spelled) really inspire me with ur fics, they are always so great
nothing really, other than what has already been said, I would always put humor in fics, but thats just me, maybe u should try to blend ur romance stories with a bit more of comedy
| IsanTheWizard chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
I havent finished reading because I had to congratulate you right now that I almost have tears in my eyes, prob will leave a better review when I finish reading it
| NinjaSheik chapter 1 . 1/18/2011
| kittykatloren chapter 1 . 1/17/2011
Ah. Ahhh. AHHHHH. This story basically sent me into transports of delight. I mean. I just... really, really love it like no other.
[It was hard to believe that in such a relatively short span of time, so much could be learned. The senate was corrupt and people in general were filled with hate; there was very little kindness to be spared no matter where a person lived. He could only pray that the tiny creature he held would never know of any of it.] I see this theme coming up again at the end! Er, in the middle-ish, I suppose. When Jill's about 16 and learned all about the laguz on her own. It's ironic how he wishes for her never to know of any of the hate and corruption, and unfortunately, that's exactly what she ends up growing up to believe.
[He felt quite plain standing next to her.] Poor Haar! Jill's just that... radiant to him already. It's really powerful how early on he feels that special *something* in her that makes her stand out.
[He supposed he could knock her out and dump her off someplace safe, far from the battlefield.] Ahh... you read this and you're like WHAT A TERRIBLE THING TO DO but when the alternative would be killing her? For Haar to be forced to even imagine such an idea... it would be heartbreaking. And, if it actually came to it, and he had to go through with knocking her out and dumping her off somewhere... would he ever be able to let her go? So sad.
[But when someone would bother talking about her suggestively, Haar found it would be best if he just left the area.] He's getting tortured already... I can so see him out having a drink with the boys and just walking out when they start talking about Jill. I mean. To him, it's not that she's not a woman, but she's *Jill.* In a sense, he probably feels (hopes?) that she's *his* Jill, but more protectively than possessively. And he doesn't really know if it's right, that she's his, but it's the way things are... He just doesn't know if they will stay that way. But a part of him definitely knows they should.
[He just didn't want her brought up again. It would set his mind into a downward spiral of worry.] Ahhh. So perfect. I don't think he would ever really feel bitter towards her, he would respect her decisions too much for that, and so this is the perfect to explain those lines he has to Ike in RD. It's like he's trying to put her out of mind so he can function; the more he thinks about her, the more he worries, which can be pretty debilitating.
[It was weird seeing one of them without the other, Mist had said to him already.] Just... a really wonderful detail. Love this line.
[Jill tossed him a questioning glance, which he returned with a crooked half-smile that offered no explanation.] I love their wordless connection. They don't need anything more than just being there for one another, especially after they weren't able to do so for all that time they were apart. I could see them being joined at a the hip for a while after their reunion, just supporting each other.
[Lethe came by for a few minutes; she petted Jill's hand and had turned to him, her face serious. "She'll pull through soon," the cat laguz told him as if he didn't already know. "She's strong."] That's so Lethe. She's just so matter-of-fact. It's not like a way to comfort Haar, it's not a hopeful prayer, it's just the truth. Lethe just *knows* it, there's no question involved.
[What good was fighting for peace if he didn't get to share that peace with Jill?] Gah. Imagining Haar alone is just... He wouldn't have anything to live for anymore.
["I've loved you all along, you know."] *raises hand* I DEFINITELY THOUGHT HAAR WAS GOING TO SAY IT! Looking back, I don't really know why I thought that; it fits so well for both of them... I love how comfortable they are at the end. It was just the right time (parallel! :D) I mean, yes, Jill would be a little embarrassed, but emotionally they're just so calm and so happy with each other. I guess when that powerful of an attachment has been felt for so many years, the physical aspect of their relationship may change but the emotional part is pretty much set in stone already.
I don't know what else to say, except that this was so wonderful! I love the tone and the emotion, the kind of relaxed tension. Which a complete oxymoron, I know. But it felt that way! Eeee. This story just made my day.
| cazcappy chapter 1 . 1/17/2011
Ah this might be the first time reviewing one of your stories but oh well. First off I love Haar, he is a beast in RD, and Jill is my favorite FE character. However for some reason i've never been really fond of the Haar/Jill pairing even though I love both characters. However every story like this that I read by you and KittykatLoren, I become a little closer to accepting the pairing. Great job on this.
| Nanospeed chapter 1 . 1/17/2011
Not familiar with the FE9/10 universe, but I loved this story. Captivated me to the end.