|Reviews for Kyrr Geron|
| Haley Earthstone chapter 10 . 11/7/2012
Well, things aren't looking too good right now, but they don't seem so bad. And I can't imagine what would make a group of Mando leave if they didn't already want to. Update soon, because I'm all caught up now. ;)
| Haley Earthstone chapter 9 . 11/7/2012
You still manage to convey something off about Aleina while simultaneously giving the impression that she's mostly on the up-and-up. And that attempted attack? Definitely something strange with it. Great job, vod.
| Haley Earthstone chapter 8 . 11/7/2012
Okay, there is definitely off with Aleina. Good job, dude person, for effectively writing to convey that 'offness' she has.
| Haley Earthstone chapter 7 . 11/7/2012
Very well written, though Kyrr must have been living under a rock not to have heard of Class One hyperdrives; after all, some of the Republic's warships have Class One hyperdrives. And it's good that the woman finally has a name; the way you ended the chapter with her introduction gives the impression that she could be pivotal to the story.
| Haley Earthstone chapter 6 . 11/7/2012
This chapter seemed a little shorter than the previous one, but I liked it. I noticed that the woman never answered Kyrr when he asked her who she was. Or, from the dialogue, he never gave her the chance to answer that question.
I am surprised that a LAAT/i could keep up with a starship, though.
| Haley Earthstone chapter 5 . 11/7/2012
That was pretty good, although instead of "there were constantly other ships taking off and flying high," I think "there were other ships constantly taking off and flying high" would read better.
| Haley Earthstone chapter 4 . 9/5/2012
Not bad, not bad. The same caliber as the previous chapters, although this sentence segment threw me off a little: "about one hundred yards away Kyrr."
I'll read chapter 5 soon.
| Rich chapter 6 . 7/11/2012
Like the story so far. Would like to make an observation though, if I have understood other Star Wars stories correctly I don't believe hyperspace is possible close to a planetary mass.
| Haley Earthstone chapter 3 . 5/23/2012
Well, that was a pleasant wake up call. Do they turn the pillow down, too?
As always, this was a well-written chapter. I didn't spot any grammatical or spelling errors, and everything flowed together pretty smoothly. You certainly know the real purpose of the shock troopers. I thought the action was well thought out and portrayed.
Great chapter. I'll read and review the next one tomorrow.
| Haley Earthstone chapter 2 . 5/1/2012
Pretty good chapter. Kyrr gives the impression of being indifferent to the clone troopers, while simultaneously being irritated at them for ruining his business opportunities. I don't think white jobs would venture into Corsucantii's underbelly; that's best left to RCs or ARCs. Or Kal Skirata. Pity about the Nikto; he might have been useful as a mechanic. Kyrr once being a member of the Death Watch was a surprise. And as I said above, it was a pretty good chapter. Follows the first chapter in reading like a genuine Star Wars novel chapter rather than a fanfic chapter.
| Haley Earthstone chapter 1 . 4/8/2012
If the fact that he had lousy taste in galactic beer, mentioned his armor, and carried was more than handy with the pistol he carried, that bit of use of Mando'a at the end clinched it for me: Kyrr Geron is a Mando'ad. The feel of the story did put me in mind of Qibbo's place on Coruscant in Republic Commando: Triple Zero, but the style wasn't quite the same. Which is not to say it was bad; quite the opposite, in fact. The description was enough to give me an image of what was occuring, but not even close to that level of detail which would be considered boring. It reads more like a chapter from an authentic Star Wars novel than a fanfic. If you're still 'dipping your toe in the water', dude, then you should just go ahead and jump in all the way. I didn't spot any errors, but then I was looking more at flow, descriptive scenes, and believability than grammar and spelling. Didn't spot any of those, though. Kandosii, ner vod.
| laloga chapter 8 . 7/22/2011
Interesting last couple of chapters. Assuming Aleina is telling the truth, they are both in a rather delicate situation. I'm curious to see how their plan will work out, or if her boss will find them...and who's after Kyrr, anyway?
Looking forward to more!
| laloga chapter 6 . 7/12/2011
Hmmm...mysterious lady with her own story? Intriguing!
I really liked how you interspersed Kyrr's interaction with the pilot and the warning from the comm system...felt very action-y, if that makes sense.
Great job with the last chapter as well; your descriptions were very clear and vivid.
Looking forward to more!
| laloga chapter 4 . 7/3/2011
Thanks for clearing that up about the shocktroopers...I was wondering!
Lots of action here! Again, your descriptions make everything easy to follow. It was nice to see someone in Mando armor! I enjoyed Kyrr's dream about his father, even though it was sad. Another layer of intrigue!
And what do those clones want with him? Hm...
| laloga chapter 2 . 7/3/2011
Great job illustrating that Kyrr is past his prime and in rather dire straits; I really enjoyed his realization of this fact, coupled with his regret over killing the Nikto. I'm curious to see what will happen to him next!
Also, your writing is lovely: clear, precise and grammatically correct, which is nice to find on this site! I look forward to more!