|Reviews for Good Luck Charm|
| My Misguided Fairytale chapter 1 . 1/23/2011
I like the repetition of your title throughout the story - it's kind-of cute, the way that TKB thinks Ryou is his good-luck charm (and then super creepy when TKB steals the Ring because of what Ryou had said earlier - almost like Ryou's addition is just a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think that's my favorite scene, too D).
You use a lot of dialogue in this story, and it's very effective and you use it well - we get a good sense of everyone's characterization through it, but I think that you don't balance out the dialogue with enough descriptions - I wanted to know a little more context, a little more behind the character's (especially TKB's) motivations for their actions. I also think that the beginning was the strongest part of the story, and you could've kept that momentum going longer - the end could've been so much more effective if you'd taken the time to really fully describe everything that was going on. You said in your A/N that you'd only seen things once, but you still could've made things up or looked at episode guides for screencaps or something.
I did like how this was actually set in the canon/memory world arc, and I liked your take on the Gemshipping. D I enjoyed reading this - keep up the good work! )
~Jess (My Misguided Fairytale)
| safa'at keruth chapter 1 . 1/22/2011
First off, I'd like to say that I've seen 'yadonushi' translated into 'landlord' for a lot of fics, and people haven't been confused by it. Have some faith in the nerdiness of our fandom! xD
I like the idea of Ryou being introduced to Memory World by YB trying to make him into a pawn, and that ultimately leading to YB's downfall, and also the idea of TKB only turning into YB after he appears to have died. Bakura's referring to Ryou as his ka-good-luck-charm was quite cute.
My concrit is mostly that I don't think TKB would reveal his entire past to Ryou after only a few days in which they know each other - he certainly didn't say anything to the Pharaoh and his priests until the very last minute, and I don't think he trusts Ryou THAT much. Especially because he seems more or less convinced by then that Ryou isn't his ka. And secondly, that I wish you'd fleshed-out the scene a bit more - as in, added some setting details, appearance details, etc. instead of making most of the fic dialogue.
Anyway, good job, and good luck in the contest! :)
| Shizuku Tsukishima749 chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
Cool! This is a really cool rendition with Ryou thrown in! Love his relationship with Thief King Bakura! *U* Rock on!
| Animom chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
It's a unique twist to have Ryou go back. ~ I especially like the initial interactions between them - despite being non-canon, they feel very IC.
| XSuicuneX chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
Yay, a story where Ryou is in the spotlight again and doesn't involve 1. Fluffyness with a Ring spirit that frankly abuses him regularly in cannon, or 2. Some random OC that he ends up doing for no real and understandable reason.
I like Theif King Bakura, he's got a good reason for being an asshole, the Ring Spirit just seems to be plain evil (And creepy!) because of his link with...uh...Zorc. (I still haven't gotten around to the Egypt arc, no decent subs are out yet and I refuse to watch Dub again)