|Reviews for Avenging Betrayal|
| Destiny Draco chapter 3 . 6/15/2014
I want continued
| Hibarilova18 chapter 3 . 4/14/2013
This is so sad! Please let Kendell forgive him because he's going to find out due to Logan's recording. DX I don't want them to breakup. Let them just have angry sex or something. ;_;
| luvbtr chapter 3 . 5/7/2012
I cant wait to read more! Please update soon~!
| Love2Sleep chapter 3 . 4/29/2012
please, please, update soon~!
| TheHornyVirgin chapter 3 . 9/11/2011
NICE! :D This was anawesome chapter! A little lengthy, but awesome! XD I LOVED the hot sex, and when Carlos was crying in the shower, I just wanted to huggle him sooo much! :') Nice chappy and I can't wait to read the next one! :D *lots and lots of naked BTR huggles* XD
| TheHornyVirgin chapter 2 . 9/6/2011
O.O *falls over dead from the hottness* THIS WAS SOOOOOOOOOOO EFFIN' HOT! *leans in to whisper* This seriously made me horny! XD All the details and descriptions were just perfect! I was literally getting chills reading it! I just loved this! :D But, ooooo, a cliffy...O.O I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPPY! *bounces up and down* XD
| TheHornyVirgin chapter 1 . 9/6/2011
OMG, this first chappy was just AWESOME! I can't believe I've never read this before! XD I just kept smiling and going 'Awwwwwww!' Picturing all those sad/sweet/cute scenes was just awesome! AMZAZING WORK, as usual! *darts off to read the next chappy* XD
| TidusGT chapter 2 . 6/13/2011
love it please update soon
| THLadyNightshade chapter 1 . 5/6/2011
Hi. I really love your stories. I think you're amazing with the characterizations of the boys and the various plots you come up with. There's just one tiny problem that I have with them.
I have a huge pet peeve with authors who do the whole: I-won't-use-the-characters'-names-in-my-fic thing. It really bugs me.
For example: The tall boy looked at the shorter boy and smiled. How amusing Logan was! The pretty boy was falling faster and faster for the smart boy everyday.
Do you see what I mean? It would be just as good if it read like this with slight variation:
James looked at Logan and smiled. How amusing his best friend was! He was falling faster and faster for Logan everyday.
I understand descriptions in stories. I also understand that a lot of authors feel they need to use descriptions every single minute in their stories. However, there really is a fine line between being descriptive and making the reader wonder if you've forgotten how to use the characters names. We know already that James is tall and a very pretty guy. We know that Logan is smart. And that Kendall is blonde and the leader and that Carlos is zany and energetic. What we don't need is to see that every minute in your fic. Use other means to describe this and your writing will be better for it. I promise you.
If you want to make note of Logan being smart you could do so like this:
Logan watched his friends in concern as they panicked. As they sent him desperate glances, he tried to remain calm. His highly intelligent brain started running through various methods and plans that possibly could get them out of this mess in one piece. He wouldn't let his friends down. They needed him. Grabbing a piece of paper, he immediately started working on a plan.
James and Kendall, being taller, had to lean down further to see what Logan was scribbling feverishly. Carlos, in his excitement, knocked over Mrs. Knight's stack of magazines as he hopped up on the counter to get a better view. Several moments passed in silence. James' handsome features were tensed and he tapped out a staccato beat on the counter as Kendall flicked his blonde hair out of his eyes impatiently. Carlos starting pulling at a thread on his hoodie. Finally, all three could wait no longer:
"What's the plan, Logan?" They all cried simultaneously.
So in that paragraph I just typed above, you've told the reader several things. 1) Logan is smart and his friends turn to him when in trouble. 2) Kendall and James are not only tall, but James is handsome and Kendall is blonde. 3) Carlos is destructive even when not meaning to be and gets distracted easily, hence him pulling at a loose thread. Not only that, but Carlos is shorter seeing as how he hopped up on the counter to see better.
All that without saying anything such as "The short boy and the shorter boy. The brunette boy, the tall boy, the blonde boy etc. etc.
You write so wonderfully, but that is the only thing that takes me out of your stories. I have to literally force myself to ignore the tons of over descriptive phrases you use and just try and focus on the plot. Like I said, the plot is always great. I haven't been disappointed yet on that level.
You also are not the only author that does this. I am sure you have read many other fanfics yourself by different authors in the BTR fandom. Look at some of the ones who don't use the same "the tall boy, the short boy, the Latino boy etc." formula and see how much better the story flows when you just simply use their names. You should write the story assuming we all already KNOW who these guys are. You don't need to overly drill it into your readers heads every minute. Like I said, you can be descriptive about the boys but use this sparingly. Assume that we already know that James is pretty, Kendall is blonde and so on and so on.
Anyway, I hope you don't take offense. The reason I'm saying all of this is because I like you and your fics and I want for them to be the best they can be. Try writing something new without all the over descriptive stuff with the guys and see how you like it. Just a suggestion. :)
| 3crazymX3 chapter 1 . 4/29/2011
Can't wait till it updates
| Pained Past97 chapter 2 . 4/2/2011
LOVED IT! Update soon, PlzPlzPlz! :)
| MyHeroRaven chapter 1 . 3/7/2011
I loved this, you know this is ony of my fav stories of the boys. : )
| hayleebuggerz chapter 2 . 2/20/2011
OMG! you left me at a cliff hanger :'( please continue writting this is driving me NUTS! i want to read more,MORE! pretty please make the third one ASAP!
| don'ttrysohardtosaygoodbye chapter 2 . 2/10/2011
O_O Oh my god! I can't wait to see what happens when they are discovered! :D
How do you have such good ideas? :P
This story is amazing, and all your other ones are too.
| waterwicca chapter 2 . 2/5/2011
I loved this! ... and the inevitable drama and smut to come lol ;D
oh! an ot4 series? that sounds amazing :D I loved when you write them :) I'll let you know if I think of any ideas to share :)