|Reviews for A Storm of Sunflowers|
| Belinda chapter 32 . 9/16/2016
For being your first fanfic a Storm of Sunflowers is a very good story and to me it was a quite nice reading experiment. I can see you've probably seen a lot of effort to make this story. Everything is nicely detailed. Even though this story is long, about over 30 chapters, you had the patience to continue writing and you didnt abandon your story like so many other fanfiction writers unfortunately do. Seriously, good job!
However I still have a few problems with this fic that I think should be mentioned. When I read this story something always bothered me in the way how Alfred, Ivan and their whole relationship is presented. Someone already said in the comment section that this is a story about Mary Sue and Gary Stu. And I couldn’t agree more. This story certainly has most of those elements.
Think about it: Alfred is Mary Sue. He is so stereotypically feminized that I cant really count him to be a male at all in this fic. He is like a pretty, sweet, innocent girl who arrives in a new place and meets a handsome, mysterious and powerful man (Ivan) who is his polar opposite. Naturally, Ivan who is Gary Stu of this fic is immediately attracted to Alfred and wants to have him as his partner – in this case for no reason whatsoever. Everybody thinks that Alfred is cute and attractive, even those who dont like him. People who dont like him are either bad guys or are later won over by his kind demeanor like Yao. Alfred doesnt have any real flaws. He rarely stands up to Ivan and when he does he gives up to him very easily. Alfred kinda reminds me of Bella Swan from Twilight although he is much less irritating character.
Mary Sue also has another suitor Arthur who doesnt want to let him go. Arthurs behavior annoyed me during the whole story. Even though he is in a relationship with Francis – who clearly loves him deeply – for some reason he is still so obsessed with Alfred that it frankly makes him look pathetic. When Arthur offered to have sex with Alfred in the woods it just seemed out of character to him. From that moment on his character was ruined for me. Arthur just doesnt seem like a person who would jump into bed at the first given opportunity and especially right after the wedding. I think Arthur is the kind of person who has great respect for marriage even if he would not accept that Alfred chose Ivan instead of him. He is an old-fashioned gentleman after all. But in this story Arthur is like a Patient Childhood Love Interest who just desperately clings to Alfred because he doesnt know how to do anything else.
During the entire story Alfred doesnt have any character development (or any character at all). He always gets what he wants without having to really work towards his goals. He gets a rich, noble lord to fall in love with him with no problem. Yao accepts his marriage with Ivan a little too quickly and easily to be realistic. Yao also wants a divorce just when its convenient for the plot and for Alfred as well. Alfred saves his friends without breaking a sweat. The opportunity to become the Queen is handed over to him on a silver platter and Alfred himself doesnt even have to fight for this tittle. Ivan does everything for him. Alfred never makes mistakes and even when he does he never gets any penalty for it. When he had sex with Arthur it did not have any real consequences on the long run. Such an act could damage permanently his relationship with Ivan or even with Arthur but no, everything is just quickly solved. Even Francis forgives Arthur. Great! No harm done at all! Alfreds actions are always justified. He doesnt have to learn or pay for his mistakes… which makes him an incredibly boring and shallow character.
But in any case this is definitely not the worst Mary Sue & Gary Stu fanfic I have ever read. Mainly because at least this one has some kind of plot going on and other characters are also involved. And Mary Sue & Gary Stu stuff is not at all as obvious as it is in so many other fanfics. Readers like me can still enjoy the story and easily ignore all Mary Sue & Gary Stu elements even though the story was sometimes annoying because of them.
Also in my opinion you have done a much better job with some of the other stories of yours. For example in Frozen Shadow (which I personally think is your best fanfic of all) Ivan and Arthur are both much more complex and developed characters. These two actually have real problems in their relationship and they both question their love for each other over and over again. Unlike Alfred and Ivan of this fic, Ivan and Arthur do not solve their problems so easily. There actually is a conflict because they come from different worlds and are so different from each other. It makes them such a dynamic couple. Arthur and Ivan also are not perfect; they both have faults which make them relatable characters. And therefore it was so wonderful when Ivan and Arthur slowly started to understand each other during the story and finally resolved their differences and ended up being in an equal, functional relationship. So you can be proud of the fact that you have developed as a storyteller.
| thebigeyedpanda chapter 11 . 8/11/2016
ooo you messed up big time ivan
| Quest chapter 32 . 7/24/2016
You know what I just now realised that this whole thing was basically Mary Sue & Gary Stu - fic XD
| Amu4ever chapter 8 . 6/22/2016
Huh, so far Alfred got really lucky. He didn't see all too much of Ivans creepy side...
| Amu4ever chapter 7 . 6/22/2016
Oh no! Poor little Canada is in the clutches of Gilbert. Well, can't say I am surprised :D
| Amu4ever chapter 6 . 6/22/2016
Huh, well, if Ian carries him back that's one heck of a fast way for Yao to find out what's going on.
| Amu4ever chapter 5 . 6/22/2016
Wow, you conveyed the cheery mood about the party very well! Oh it's so much fun to read stories from people who are able to convey feelings so well :)
| Amu4ever chapter 4 . 6/22/2016
Woah...I guess the positive thing is you made the encounter between Ivan and Alfred realistic and Ivan was even kind...eh...or he could have been worse. Seeing what he did as kind is just...no.
| Amu4ever chapter 3 . 6/22/2016
Awww...Alfred is kinda cute :)
| Amu4ever chapter 2 . 6/22/2016
Hahaha...way to meet your fate, Arthur :D
| Amu4ever chapter 1 . 6/22/2016
Hehehe...this is such a nice start! I am glad I finally decided to read this story. I have been thinking about reading it for a while on and off :)
| Rising from the Ashes YOLT chapter 32 . 5/18/2016
This is an amazing story! So glad that I read this!
| Iron Rose Writer chapter 32 . 5/17/2016
For your first fic this is amazing. It displays skill and great character development. You had a great grasp of just who the characters were and how they felt. I thought you did a particularly good job with Yao. It was an interesting take on him and one I had never thought of before. The dog thing was also quite clever. All in all, wonderful story and so I must be off to the sequel.
| sasunaru13 chapter 32 . 7/3/2015
ahhh I finally finished reading this masterpiece...
so all in all, this fic is simply amazing. the plot, the chara development, the details..are all so well tought and this could pass as commercial book I swear!
| sasunaru13 chapter 31 . 7/3/2015