|Reviews for Unearthed|
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/7/2011
love it! I was thinking the same thing!
| silentmidnightdeath chapter 14 . 7/18/2011
I would revel in the knowledge as to what could possibly terrify an elf. other than a drow, that is.
| peppymint chapter 14 . 7/18/2011
nope, bryran will not be happy.
| peppymint chapter 13 . 6/25/2011
Bryran has a point. On the up side though, they are still alive.
| Arcole chapter 12 . 6/11/2011
Man, I have never been so glad for somebody to just get a good bath! These two have sure been through it. I'll keep an eye out for the update!
| Arcole chapter 3 . 6/11/2011
I thought your fight scene here went very well! Plenty of clear, believable action! Gosh the poor guy is just being put through the wringer. I do indeed feel for him. And I too was very upset when RAS offed him. Glad to see he is back in action!
| OhShirleyUJest chapter 12 . 6/11/2011
Don't worry, you're doing well enough that we won't kill you for slowing down... as long as the slowing down isn't accompanied by a sudden drop in quality, because that would be silly. However, if you slow down in order to make it more awesome, that's great! Although, it's going pretty great to begin with, so that might be a tall order.
This is one of those stories where I haven't felt compelled to reread just to recall what is going on, because I can actually remember! The fact that Kellindil's survival is fairly unique helps. When the stories are all alike, remembering what is whose is more difficult. So, kudos for originality!
In other news, Bryran - for an OC - is reasonably well developed. However, if you're lacking plot bunnies, you could expand a little more on what he's doing there, or his personal history. You don't have to have him reveal everything to us, and certainly not to Kellindil, but a little more would be nice if you can float it. Maybe I'm just a sucker for character development, or just highly suspicious of everything, but I want to know what's going on in his head, what he's up to, why he was so particularly unfazed by encountering a trouble-magnet of an elf... I know you told us a little earlier, but more? Please?
| silentmidnightdeath chapter 11 . 5/27/2011
yay! i decided to read the whole story before i posted and i love it! i really hope u aren't too evil to kellindil though. i was so frustrated when he died! i really liked him! i'm so happy u picked up where Salvatore left off.
| Rachel chapter 11 . 5/26/2011
I'm loving your story and i think it's totally awesome. however, i was wondering if you could find some way to work Drizzt in? just a thought.
| Reinamarie Seregon chapter 9 . 5/21/2011
hahaha funny. I wasn't too sure abt Kellendil and then i remembered him from the drizzt comics. Yea hope he can get a bath. ) i like yr style. keep it up
| wild child chapter 10 . 4/22/2011
I watch an though i didn't really like the plot its still great to watch dante in motion
| MercurialNight chapter 1 . 4/5/2011
He lives! Yes! XD
I'm with you; I was so freakin mad when Kellindil died. He was the only one out of Dove's freinds that I got really attached to. This is well-written, too. I kinda wished he would coincidentally meet with Drizzt again and we'd see the freindship that should've happened. ] hahah.
Ah, fanfiction. Where nobody has to die. Good work ]
| OhShirleyUJest chapter 9 . 4/1/2011
Thanks for your lack of true evilness. If the elf starts whining, just remind him there is no union for fanfic characters - and if he keeps whining about your evilness you might have to do something to make sure you truly fit the definition... I'm sure he'd understand the implied threat. He's no idiot.
Have fun on this day of ridiculousness!
| REINAMARIE chapter 1 . 3/29/2011
oh my friend was discussing about him! but i don't know much about him, he didnt die? cool
| OhShirleyUJest chapter 8 . 3/28/2011
I have to wonder what exactly the two orcs (while the third tried really hard not to be noticed) were fighting over. I mean, orcs may be barbaric and like fighting, but they usually do have a reason (albeit most of the time a bad one).
Unless, of course, you're using the encounter to set up something for your bigger plot? I mean, there are a thousand ways you could go from that encounter! Forward scouts having a disagreement (are they a part of Graul's orcs? Or a different Orc nation/band?) or a small, lone band that found something that they all coveted (that perhaps looked innocuous to Bryran)?
Although, our archer getting a bow might be the best outcome, and it could have just been an argument... sometimes my brain just enjoys creating questions about passages.
In fight scenes, to try and make them seem faster and more action packed, you could try using shorter sentences and/or paragraphs. It's kind of like the idea of a figurative "page-turner". Since it takes less time for the readers mind to absorb simpler sentences, the actions in those sentences seem to be, well, faster.
Don't get me wrong, I love your writing style. But, if you want to work on improving the fight scenes, that's one method. It certainly isn't the only way though! I'm finding myself constantly intrigued by the writing you have done so far, and I look forward to whatever is coming next.
p.s. Great job on the descriptions of the two's camaraderie and conversation! I liked it a lot!