|Reviews for Unearthed|
| BatPhace chapter 2 . 1/24/2011
Like Shirley said, thanks for the speedy update :).
That said, there seemed no point to this chapter except him tripping over a gopher hole. He's injured, his travels are slow and difficult, he's thinking to himself... then what? I only mean that if it takes a little longer for the updates because you need time to develop a plot I'm sure we'll all forgive you ;) You have demonstrated your ability to describe and narrate, now show us you can tell a story :)
And by all means, if you need a sounding board for plot points (not a beta, persay, just someone to bounce ideas off of) then PM me! I loved Kellindil and you're an awesome writer, so I'd be more than willing to help ya out if you'd like ;)
Everything else was AWESOME, just like the last chapter. Great descriptions and it flows really well. Keep it up :)
| OhShirleyUJest chapter 2 . 1/24/2011
"Since most of them were really small, I'm not going to fight with my computer" - Fair enough!
Thanks for the reasonably speedy update! Again, you are excellent at narrative description: and you aren't that evil. Evil would be ending a section break with... wait. Shouldn't give you evil ideas. Bad reviewer, bad.
I especially like how you actually remember that he's injured. Sometimes, fanfic writers are typing along, and suddenly their mostly dead protagonist completes physical feats that no one I know would be able to do even on a good day - like running a hundred miles in a day, climbing up a cliff without any ropes, or wrestling a dragon with their left hand tied behind their backs. Okay, I exaggerate a little, but you know what I mean.
Although, making him stumble over a gopher hole might count as slightly evil. He might have a word with you about that. If he does, just remind him that you could conceivably have broken his leg, so he should really be thanking you for your tender mercy.
| Elusive Kite chapter 1 . 1/21/2011
Hello, I read this story of yours mainly because it was about Kellindil, and I too would have liked to see him around in Salvatore's novels instead of dieing. -_-
So if you continue it be sure that I'll be around to read it further _
| danoman66 chapter 1 . 1/20/2011
So far so good. but how long was he burried? I figure by the time McGristle burried all the other stuff he would be dead. Maybe Kellindil had a ring of adaptation. Just a thought.
| BatPhace chapter 1 . 1/20/2011
Salvatore has a nasty habit of killing off awesome characters that could easily be worked in (at least in a supporting role) later one. Pisses me off too and I'm glad to see someone doing something about it :)
Good start, a few little things I found (such as 'to' where it should be 'two') but other than that I think you've got the makings of an awesome story :)
| OhShirleyUJest chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
I know, Kellindil's demise was sad... and seemed kinda pointless in the big scheme of things. Curse Roddy McGristle for being silly.
You should continue this, if only because your writing style is such a relief! The sentence structure is fluid with only a few minor mistakes.
Ex: "he felt the soft dirt give way under his grasping nail" - since when does Kellindil only have one nail? Is he the amazing one fingered archer?
As I said, minor mistakes. However, even published works have ugly errors every once in a while. Actually, some more than a once in a while...
On the whole, your writing is a success! I especially enjoyed the descriptions. Continue the awesomeness. I cannot express enough how much I like your idea for Kellindil's continued survival. He was an awesome character despite the handicap of having far less than a book of character development.