Reviews for Faceless Moon
brankel1 chapter 15 . 10/7/2014
brankel1 chapter 14 . 8/14/2014
Love it.
MsKarissaM chapter 1 . 8/1/2014
To Guest,
Thank you for the feedback. You seem a bit confused, so let me clear up some things for you. Nice guess on Mason but no cigar. In most cases you would think Renessmee doesn't matter once she has connected with some one else; however, there is a twist to the story I am slowly revealing. Jacob is connected to the Alaskan pack through Mason. If someone or something has killed the Chief, he has to make sure his people are safe now that he is back. In past chapter I stated that Mason was not a wolf but knew about the legends. I will reveal why Leah and Jacob are on patrols together in the next two to three chapters.

There are a lot of hole because I like to keep my readers guessing. The feedback I get lets me know how interesting my story is and helps me write better. So thank you again for you feedback. I will work on the in consistencies. Thank you again.
Guest chapter 13 . 8/1/2014
Why is it jacob's job to figure out what is happening in Alaska its not his pack or tribe shouldnt those wolves find out for themselves? Is mason a wolf because im confused. Why does Leah and jacob have patrol together? This story also has many plot holes and inconsistencies.
Guest chapter 11 . 8/1/2014
If Jacob left the leech and is now connected her being pregnant by someone else doesn't even matter or her plot really.
Guest chapter 5 . 8/1/2014
When Mason visits leah will imprint won't she.
Guest chapter 3 . 8/1/2014
The sex was good but the talking during and dirty talk was stupid.
brankel1 chapter 13 . 8/1/2014
hgmsnoopy chapter 12 . 3/21/2013
Well, it looks like things are about to get worse for Jacob before they get any better. Maybe he'll start doing the math in his head and if he hasn't been with Nessie for three months he'll realize that the baby isn't his...
hgmsnoopy chapter 4 . 3/21/2013
You've got a really interesting plot line going and I like the detail that you're going into. I don't understand how Jacob can feel betrayed by Paul - Jacob left. And had an imprint. For 7 years. And it's showing a pretty huge ego to think he should just waltz back into Leah's life and try and make up for all the hurt he caused before.

Anyway, I'm anticipating some fireworks.

Finally, you may want to look into getting a beta - for as details as the plot is and the characters, there are a lot of grammar and homonym mistakes. For example, Amber scolded (not scalded) and Jacob should call when he reaches the border (not boarder) Overall though, great job.
Guest chapter 8 . 3/20/2013
To answer the Unknown guest question. I wrote the story in unrealistic terms. No you can't go through medical school without anyone knowing but can someone really be a mystical creature in a small town without any one finding out? Not particularly. Renessmee is still a half vampire so Jason's scent never smelled good to her, she was just able to overcome the smell. And she's pregnant so the smell has intensified for her because of it. Thank you for the feed back on my transitions and consistancy. I try to stay as consistant as I can and I'll work on my transitions.
P.S. I usually state who Jacob is talking to at the beginning of the chapter. Or at the end of the chapter before because some of the chapters or contiuation of the one before. But I'll try to make it more clear. Thank you for you feedback. It helps a lot.
brankel1 chapter 12 . 3/19/2013
Love it. Poor Leah when she finds out.
Unknown chapter 8 . 3/18/2013
You said that Jacob and Renesmee were never intimate in the beginning but now they have? And why does Jason's scent NOW disgust her? Wasn't she just with him last night?
Unknown chapter 6 . 3/18/2013
You need to work on your transitions. When did Paul show up and Seth? You don't state who all are present or why they are angry wig him. Early you made it seem as if he had a pretty good relationship with Seth and had never spoken to Leah until that moment. But now, he's only been talking to Leah? Inconsistency needs to be worked out.
Unknown chapter 5 . 3/18/2013's definitely and not defiantly. And NO ONE can go through medical school and no one else not know. When is she studying, if at all?! It's unrealistic and you should really proof what you post. You're missing words and your use of adverbs is sporadic at best.
55 | Page 1 2 3 .. Last Next »