|Reviews for Faceless Moon|
| hgmsnoopy chapter 12 . 3/21/2013
Well, it looks like things are about to get worse for Jacob before they get any better. Maybe he'll start doing the math in his head and if he hasn't been with Nessie for three months he'll realize that the baby isn't his...
| hgmsnoopy chapter 4 . 3/21/2013
You've got a really interesting plot line going and I like the detail that you're going into. I don't understand how Jacob can feel betrayed by Paul - Jacob left. And had an imprint. For 7 years. And it's showing a pretty huge ego to think he should just waltz back into Leah's life and try and make up for all the hurt he caused before.
Anyway, I'm anticipating some fireworks.
Finally, you may want to look into getting a beta - for as details as the plot is and the characters, there are a lot of grammar and homonym mistakes. For example, Amber scolded (not scalded) and Jacob should call when he reaches the border (not boarder) Overall though, great job.
| Guest chapter 8 . 3/20/2013
To answer the Unknown guest question. I wrote the story in unrealistic terms. No you can't go through medical school without anyone knowing but can someone really be a mystical creature in a small town without any one finding out? Not particularly. Renessmee is still a half vampire so Jason's scent never smelled good to her, she was just able to overcome the smell. And she's pregnant so the smell has intensified for her because of it. Thank you for the feed back on my transitions and consistancy. I try to stay as consistant as I can and I'll work on my transitions.
P.S. I usually state who Jacob is talking to at the beginning of the chapter. Or at the end of the chapter before because some of the chapters or contiuation of the one before. But I'll try to make it more clear. Thank you for you feedback. It helps a lot.
| brankel1 chapter 12 . 3/19/2013
Love it. Poor Leah when she finds out.
| Unknown chapter 8 . 3/18/2013
You said that Jacob and Renesmee were never intimate in the beginning but now they have? And why does Jason's scent NOW disgust her? Wasn't she just with him last night?
| Unknown chapter 6 . 3/18/2013
You need to work on your transitions. When did Paul show up and Seth? You don't state who all are present or why they are angry wig him. Early you made it seem as if he had a pretty good relationship with Seth and had never spoken to Leah until that moment. But now, he's only been talking to Leah? Inconsistency needs to be worked out.
| Unknown chapter 5 . 3/18/2013
Okay...it's definitely and not defiantly. And NO ONE can go through medical school and no one else not know. When is she studying, if at all?! It's unrealistic and you should really proof what you post. You're missing words and your use of adverbs is sporadic at best.
| Chershire chapter 11 . 3/14/2013
I love this! I was never a Reneesme, Bella, or Edward fan. Hope you continue!
| Mrs. Kratos chapter 11 . 1/31/2013
Wtf? I hate cliffhanger! You better update really soon!
| Guest chapter 11 . 1/31/2013
That was random as hell with paul asking if the spawn cheated with someone else. Why would either of them even care who the bitch fucked or change the topic from leah who Paul has and Jacob wants, to her?
| Guest chapter 10 . 1/31/2013
He has some nerve wanting the pack back.
| Guest chapter 6 . 1/31/2013
How many times did they need to say dad and son we know hes his kid and hes his father lol.
| brankel1 chapter 11 . 1/31/2013
I love none of them got seriously hurt.
| Blackwater-fan07 chapter 10 . 11/25/2012
Please update soon!
| blckwaterforeve chapter 10 . 11/1/2012
Please keep going! This is really good!