|Reviews for Paradise Lost|
| arwahart04 chapter 1 . 10/28
omg I'm gonna screem,I'm so obsessed with this story but turns out that it letrally haven't been updated since 2011,I'm letrally so sad,this is such a good story ,I love it
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 14 . 7/25
What exactly did Harry do that caused a chain-reaction that changed the Tri-Wizard Tournament's First Task from being a Spectator Sport (which is the whole point of having it, with a dash of foregn cooperation thrown in) and into a task that requires zero bravery (which was the point of the origional first task), and a whole lot of brainwork (not common to wizards) and no real proof of skill? (Research is NOT a valued skill amongst the masses anywhere.)
Essentially; You took Superbowl and turned it into a "find the ball" game.
Do you HAVE a logical, butterfly-effect reason at all?
Or is it just because you decided to go compleatly AU to compensate for Harry's Mary Sue tendencies?
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 11 . 7/25
Most fanfic writer I tell to remember to "Show, Don't Tell", but YOU... you are VERY good at showing, n9t telling!
Your descriptions are actually very well done!
But there are places where you seem to have been unable to decide which description to use, and gone woth both; Which makes the pacing slow down too much and seem a bit...overkill.
"Harry met quietly glowing hellfire eyes, eyes the color of the blood that beat within his breast. Red, those eyes, scarlet as heart's blood."
Both sentences describe the eyecolor. Pick one, and -as writing classes and books live to say; Kill your darlings.
One description is pleanty. Two is pushing it, and three is a crowd.
(I could also point to Harry's lack of...age, mental development, emotions... not sure what to call it.
He's 12 acting like he's 30, or a minimum of 20
And children and teenager have brains that do not think the same way adults do. Just find any video about; Kids says the darnest things, and you'll see what I mean. It's biology, physical development, and not psychology.
But then, that is such a common mistake in fanfic writing it's hardly worth mentioning. Even I do it at times. Just keep it in mind for later.)
That aside, you are a VERY good writer!
And this story is absolutly brilliant!
So keep writing! _
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 4 . 7/24
We kbow that the REASON why GINNY got the diary was because Lucius wanted to discredit ARTHUR WEASLEY -to stop a law he wanted to protect muggles.
So HOW and WHY did the diary end up in with HERMIONE'S books?
Lucius proboably couldn't tell her apart from any other muggleborn -she is beneath his notice.
Harry has done NOTHING to aggravate him.
Draco has DEFINATLY told his father that Harry uses Dark Magic, and might therefore be a good ally.
So the chances of Lucius putting it in HER books is pretty much zero.
So HOW did she end up with it?
| granthaybilden chapter 6 . 6/7
The irony with Snape and Harry's hair
| granthaybilden chapter 3 . 6/7
| gemini shawty chapter 7 . 6/1
i sobbed so much at sirius getting kissed. i thought he was gonna gain custody of him, but i also understand and appreciate the villain origin story it gives
| gemini shawty chapter 3 . 6/1
I LOVE THIS SNEAKY CUNNING HARRY YESS
| Guest chapter 4 . 5/12
harry and voldermort are the descendants of the peverells both were raised in the muggle world both were mistreated and both have sluytherin blood in them dorea black harrys paternal grand mom i do also have a theory that his mother lily potter nee evans is a squib in the slytherin line otherwie how can a witch m have magic
| anne.prossi15 chapter 20 . 4/1
| Black Savage chapter 1 . 3/6
I have just started reading this, and I must say... I am in awe. The answer to that question, if questioned, in that movie would have changed the script as we know it. In the books and the movies, I have always wondered what would happen if he went to Slytherin. I have seen fanfiction after fanfiction give various reasons as to why he ended up in Slytherin, but for some reason this one just hit me. Not because it's different from the others, because let's face many have used similar tropes. It was simply because of how it was answered. It was refreshing and opened so many debate topics that I must give you my thanks. So, thank you.
| wiktorkanykiel1407 chapter 20 . 2/23
Hope you will continue this story
| Aika 2100 chapter 20 . 2/12
Is some chance what this story will continued? It's interesting and dark, i would want to see new chapter.
At least, thank you for already written part of this story.
| Guest chapter 20 . 2/11
| Guest chapter 20 . 9/6/2021
Perhaps you could take the time to revisit this and finish the story.