The first smut scene and the author puts emphasis on the '' child'' part ? Way to make it cringe and borderline

Hallo, lasse mir die Geschichte von Google übersetzen und hoffe so sehr, dass du egal wie lange es hast weiterschreiben wirst. Gerade diese Geschichte ist so unendlich faszinierend und mitreißend. Ich liebe deinen Schreibstil deine Vergleiche mit den Klassikern und Märchen und hoffe so sehr, dass du den Weg wieder hierher zurück finden wirst.

Love this!

Thank you
Is this story abandoned ?

Lucius is in a world of pain

Haaarry... gives me the shivers everytime!

hell yeah harry! get it!

Please continue. I'm really enjoying the story.

Damn i now don't like the to male barbies (malfoys)

omg I'm gonna screem,I'm so obsessed with this story but turns out that it letrally haven't been updated since 2011,I'm letrally so sad,this is such a good story ,I love it

I'm curious...

What exactly did Harry do that caused a chain-reaction that changed the Tri-Wizard Tournament's First Task from being a Spectator Sport (which is the whole point of having it, with a dash of foregn cooperation thrown in) and into a task that requires zero bravery (which was the point of the origional first task), and a whole lot of brainwork (not common to wizards) and no real proof of skill? (Research is NOT a valued skill amongst the masses anywhere.)

Essentially; You took Superbowl and turned it into a "find the ball" game.

Why?

Do you HAVE a logical, butterfly-effect reason at all?

Or is it just because you decided to go compleatly AU to compensate for Harry's Mary Sue tendencies?

Most fanfic writer I tell to remember to "Show, Don't Tell", but YOU... you are VERY good at showing, n9t telling!

Your descriptions are actually very well done!

But there are places where you seem to have been unable to decide which description to use, and gone woth both; Which makes the pacing slow down too much and seem a bit...overkill.

Like;

"Harry met quietly glowing hellfire eyes, eyes the color of the blood that beat within his breast. Red, those eyes, scarlet as heart's blood."

Both sentences describe the eyecolor. Pick one, and -as writing classes and books live to say; Kill your darlings.

One description is pleanty. Two is pushing it, and three is a crowd.

(I could also point to Harry's lack of...age, mental development, emotions... not sure what to call it.
He's 12 acting like he's 30, or a minimum of 20

And children and teenager have brains that do not think the same way adults do. Just find any video about; Kids says the darnest things, and you'll see what I mean. It's biology, physical development, and not psychology.

But then, that is such a common mistake in fanfic writing it's hardly worth mentioning. Even I do it at times. Just keep it in mind for later.)

That aside, you are a VERY good writer!

And this story is absolutly brilliant!

So keep writing! _

Sooo...

We kbow that the REASON why GINNY got the diary was because Lucius wanted to discredit ARTHUR WEASLEY -to stop a law he wanted to protect muggles.

So HOW and WHY did the diary end up in with HERMIONE'S books?

Lucius proboably couldn't tell her apart from any other muggleborn -she is beneath his notice.

Harry has done NOTHING to aggravate him.
Draco has DEFINATLY told his father that Harry uses Dark Magic, and might therefore be a good ally.

So the chances of Lucius putting it in HER books is pretty much zero.

So HOW did she end up with it?

The irony with Snape and Harry's hair

Awesome 3