|Reviews for Friends|
| KumoFuzei chapter 1 . 8/19/2011
Okay so overall it's a good length and it seems like it is well thought out. Here is my corrections version:
I first met her a year ago. She was lost and alone. There was a lot of sadness in her big blue eyes. Beside her was the big and imposing form of DarkKnightmon. There was a gut-wrenchingly hollow feeling in her eyes when he bowed to us, the Sparrowmon tribe. We took her into our care. We refused to trust DarkKnightmon however, he seemed untrustworthy to say the least. Rumors said that he was a power-hungry Digimon who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted...even going as far as to destroy others. Nene, as I later found out her name was, was pretty and very helpful. She fixed all the problems we had within a short week. She fed the babies and did everything else that was needed. She and DarkKnightmon vanquished the Bagura Army troops that came after us. Although I doubted DarkKnightmon cared about us, Nene definitely did. I decided that I needed to settle this once and for all.
"May Nene come with me?" I asked DarkKnightmon cautiously. He turned and looked at me and simply nodded. As soon as two of us were out of sight, I snapped at her. "Why do you crawl at his feet? That Digimon is evil! He's using you!" I shouted angrily, feeling the tears well up already as I felt dearly for my dear friend. She looked at me wide eyed and then a tear fell down her cheek. She breathed deeply, and collected herself so she was able to speak again "Because of my little brother...as long as DarkKnightmon has Yuu, I must do his bidding." She confessed, her voice breaking as she said her brother's name. DarkKnightmon had told me that they; were team Twilight. Tomorrow morning, I hastily went to tell the chief what I had learnt and my decision because of it. "I have chosen my destiny... I will go with team Twilight." I said with a steely resolve, the chief looked me in the eyes for several seconds before nodding slowly. "I will not keep you any longer then... Good luck in protecting her from him." he said with an emotionless but wise tone. I stared at him for a long time before I was capable of giving a reply. "but how?" I asked, our chief looked at me and raised an eyebrow quizzically.
"I have known you and your motives since you were very little; Sparrowmon. You always protected the weak. This isn't any different." he said with an all knowing voice that instilled confidence in me.
Nene and DarkKnightmon were already leaving the village when I finally caught up to them. "I'm going with you." I said stubbornly. I looked Nene straight into here eyes, she shivered as she looked back at me. "You are strong. Sparrowmon; welcome to team Twilight." she said with a simple smile. That night, when DarkKnightmon fell asleep, I walked over to Nene and opened up, I couldn't hide it any longer. "I suppose you know why I joined you... I will not stand for that jerk abusing you any longer, not for one more moment. Nene, you helped my village a lot, and now it is my turn to help you." I said with a fierce look in my eyes.
"DarkKnightmon..." Nene began.
"Don't use him any longer Nene, he is a jerk!" I said, interupting her. "Since you helped us it is my turn to help you now." I smiled, like I remembered the chief doing, to instill my confidence into Nene.
"Sparrowmon, I..." Nene began uneasily.
"Don't say anything... I am here for you." I replied simply and solidly. I paused to allow her a chance to speak but she did not "because of you, I am strong." I added with a smile.
Some time later, we confronted Kiriha Aonuma and soon after that, DarkKnightmon betrayed us. He ordered me to attack and I refused. "I will not attack! You locked the only one I would listen to in that tower. I have always considered you a jerk, DarkKnightmon, and I always will." I said with an angry stare to accompany my feelings, he tried to speak but I flew away quickly. I had to find team Xros Heart and get them to rescue Nene. Then we could be free from DarkKnightmon's control! Forever.
Just me and Nene. Forever.
It is quite a moving and skillfully written fic, but as I have said before your two major downfalls are description and paragraphing, apart from that, good job :)
| yamiakuzetsu chapter 1 . 5/23/2011
I wish I could do fanfics like how you did :
I can only do script fics since I fail doing it in this kind of format T_T
Good job! I love Nene-sama & Sparrowmon's bond, however, later on the series, she (I can't believe she's a boy xD) was replaced by Mervamon as her main partner...
| Sybretooth chapter 1 . 4/24/2011
pretty nice. good job!
| silversoul134 chapter 1 . 1/22/2011
I SIMPLY LOVE IT REALLY A GOOD WORK i love nene fics. really you are an incredible writer :3