|Reviews for Wind and Water|
| AKAAkira chapter 9 . 9/26/2011
Haha, I think you've given me three replies to one review. Thanks for the reminder. Though, I DO have this story on alert.
When you put it like you have though, it does look make it more obvious Aeria's putting the dreams out of her mind rather than dealing with it, as I had first thought. And it's a lot more easier to appreciate the effort you're putting into building her character.
Anyways, Aldaron and Seimei seems interesting enough. Lemme guess, an alchemist and a soldier? Seimei seems to remind me of that panda girl from FullMetal Alchemist...
And speaking of manga references, is Chisai a Chobits reference? And does the doll thing work like Summon Golem, or like a "pet"?
Some minor grammar errors, all of them with speech integration. You might also want to vary your words, in general I thought this chapter had an inadvisably high concentration of "spoke" variations.
See ya next chapter!
| godofmadness43 chapter 9 . 9/26/2011
ok, so far its getting good, you still are planning on adding my OC, right?
| AKAAkira chapter 8 . 7/2/2011
And here's the next review!
I don't have much to add from my earlier comments. The milieu is still nice and descriptive and I can probably charge the accumulated suspence for attempted manslaughter. Only thing so far that I might question is going into Aeria's past in such detail, as it seems to me that the majority of her character development's already over (what with feeling her own death and pretty much making peace with it) when the plot's *real* journey only beginning.
Speaking about Aeria...aww, you didn't include the other one? I would've liked to see you try your hand at humour even in the middle of a serious sequence.
It seems it's been a while since you updated, so please hurry mkay? (No pressure.)
| AKAAkira chapter 4 . 7/2/2011
Before I forget - "ne?" as a Japanese term might be better off left alone in an English story. "Red eye" I'm guessing is the insult where the inner bit of the lower eyelid is exposed, and again as a reference to Japanese culture may not necessarily make much impact to a NA audience. And I'm 99% sure it's spelled "Milletians", not "Milettians".
Otherwise, this is an awesome story. I really like your style of writing, maybe because your vocabulary's different to mine but at the same time I think you can go pro with it. Aeria as a character you've brought fully into being, and the atmosphere you can create nicely emphasize each chapter.
And I like the way you got creative kicking the game mechanics into your own shape. Malleability always ranks high in what I look for.
I'll give another review once I'm finished the newest chapter. Till then.
| Taeniaea chapter 8 . 4/10/2011
| godofmadness43 chapter 7 . 2/20/2011
now she learns magic, excellent!
| godofmadness43 chapter 6 . 2/20/2011
heh, not bad at all!
| Taeniaea chapter 7 . 2/15/2011
| Taeniaea chapter 6 . 2/12/2011
Great Chapter Loved dreams ,and sees my Oc by name at last even if it was only in the dreams.
| godofmadness43 chapter 5 . 2/9/2011
oh awesome! this is good, i did have this idea, if u were accepting OCs that is, if u could add my OC, Shaosu
| godofmadness43 chapter 3 . 2/9/2011
not bad, not bad at all
| Taeniaea chapter 5 . 2/6/2011
Very Cool Chapter I loved the spar with Aranwen ,and the wake up call Eiry gave Sert :)
| Taeniaea chapter 4 . 1/30/2011
I loved Chapter ,and the two dreams as well as the parts with Nao ,and Nora plus the mother hen Caitin:)))
| Taeniaea chapter 3 . 1/26/2011
I loved the Chapter
| Taeniaea chapter 2 . 1/24/2011
Great Chapter "I liked Eiry a lot to I'm going to miss her."