|Reviews for You Don't Belong Here|
| Rocker on chapter 5 . 12/4/2016
That's over-stating it.
| Rocker on chapter 4 . 12/4/2016
I believe that this chapter may have been a little to graphic. Could you get to the part where they get saved and such? Or where whatever the kid's name is(I will not refer to him as 'H1') turns into some sort of Toa hero?
| Rocker on chapter 3 . 12/4/2016
Could you please leave out the... Naughty parts? I think I may throw up.
| Rocker on chapter 2 . 12/4/2016
Is he trying to conquer Earth? Also, what will happen to the kid? Will he get Toa-powers and break free? No telling what might happen! Also, could you tone down the language? Please?
| Rocker on chapter 1 . 12/4/2016
Well, the kid should feel grateful, the Makuta did save him from being killed, even if he was kidnapped.
| dragonsofthe8elements chapter 5 . 6/27/2015
i get most of them but could you tell me the full list just in case?
| Guest chapter 6 . 5/15/2015
| Remi Truman chapter 1 . 11/15/2014
Question do you think you can mix all 4 transformers movies with bionicle? You can make Mata Nui (from Bionicle:Legend Reborn) be Optimus Prime and other bionicles be autobots and decepticons? Make Tuma (also from Bionicle:Legend Reborn) be Megatron? also make two different people be sam witwicky and mikeala? Can you pleeaaaassssseeeee do this? It would be really cool! :) smiley face
| Brickins7 chapter 5 . 8/1/2012
Ha! I got four out of five o' dem easter eggs! The Omnitrix, a lightsaber, a Portal gun, and The Triforce! This is an excellent story, although swearing is a tad offesnsive to me, but you can write what you like. :) 8 I want to know more about the first, his experiences must have taken a dramatic effect on his mind.
| Toa Lapaka chapter 4 . 5/22/2011
This is a good story, However the one thing that might make me stop reading this is the excessive cursing.
The new Toa sound interesting
| Toa Lapaka chapter 3 . 5/1/2011
Interesting. last part... disturbing. You put a few things I don't think Makuta would know about human, like the last part.
Down in the lower chamber were two more Subject on the left was H21, a female Human. (He) was around...
needs to be she
| FlightofSilver chapter 2 . 4/18/2011
This story has a great plot, but there are a few things I think you could fix.
One, less telling, more showing. Instead of explaining everything, try to show it. (e.g.,have Tridax complain about how high-maintenance humans are, show the boy getting shocked) Also, try to stick with one character's point of view at a time and refer to other characters the way he would. Tridax would probably not mentally think of James as James. James would be H37.
Two, I don't think you needed to put "eyes" in quotation marks. I'm pretty sure Makuta have actual eyes, and you told the story from a Makuta's perspective.
Minor grammar errors and typos aside, this is very good. I could literally feel the fear and hopelessness of the human subjects, so keep that up. Hope you update soon.
| Just Somebodeh chapter 1 . 4/18/2011
That 'Renegade' reviewer is an idiot. Adding foul language to a story is not DUMB, nor does it make it even remotely poor. And you even put a warning in the summary. The story is rated T, it is perfectly alright for a T rated fic to contain foul language. Renegade, you are an absolute moron, do the talented Ignika Nui and the rest of us a favor by keeping your immature and biased assumptions to yourself.
On a happier note, the story IS excellent. I really can think of no other words! It combats every cliche that the whole 'human in the Bionicle universe' trend has set! Not to mention your writing style - it's so smooth and professional, just perfect. Your story is fantastic, it truly is. Keep up the great work. While I may not be able to review every future chapter, please do rest assured that I will read each one.
| Renegade chapter 1 . 1/25/2011
It COULD have been excellent. But you Had to add foul language. Dumb. BTW, your firewall is weak.
| wolf girl811 chapter 1 . 1/25/2011
i like this its interesting not many people go for the kidnapping it realistic in a light of a makuta humans were not that useless i cant tell you how many bionicle stories i read so far that betrayed humans as nothing but entertainment or not worth the thought to understand.
so this caught my attention and hope you update this sometime soon and it i had to say anything about what you writen so far it kind of a short chapter but it good