|Reviews for Exdeath Buys Groceries|
| LOL chapter 1 . 9/22/2011
Terrible story, horrid spelling, and random stuff thrown in the middle? Great for the beginings of a troll!fic, but it's just not funny enough or offensive enough. Your trolling needs some work.
However, if you weren't trying to troll, this fic needs some work. Your spelling is, to be blunt, atrocious. Spellcheck doesn't catch everything, and I suggest you get a beta reader. Your sentences read like a fourth grader's the been writing them. There's no flow to the writing, it feels choppy which doesn't make for a good story. You have the potential to make a truly humorous story, and I look forward to reading it then, but as of right now, you need to work on this story. Take it down, fix it, get a beta to read it, and then post it up again.