Reviews for Shadows
Karama9 chapter 8 . 3/15/2011
Awh, Lowlight being sweet. I suspect she did drool on him and he just pretended she didn't to be nice.

Nice chapter, it looks like Nomad is going to open up a bit AND is starting to realize maybe she does need help. That's a first step, or so I hear. I didn't think it was angsty at all. Nomad is a bit messed up, but her past is realistically tragic, as opposed to Sue-ish levels of over-the-top drama, and she suffers from it, as opposed to just making the readers suffer. :)

Very nicely done, I like the character interactions. You're doing a grand job!
willwrite4fics chapter 8 . 3/15/2011
*applauds* Excellant chapter. Plenty happened and it didn't get too sappy or angsty. You blend in enough humor and serious stuff to break up Nomad's internal stuff so it's more facinating and teasing rather than angsting. Nicely done!
willwrite4fics chapter 7 . 3/8/2011
That was a GREAT battle scene. Yeah, Nomad screwed up a couple times, but overall, she showed she's a good trooper. Just for information, a M2 only weighs about 80 lbs, so carrying it should be possible for nearly anyone, but firing it is nearly impossible unless it's set on it's bipod. So it's amazing that Roadblock fires it while carrying it, not that he can just pick it up.

I liked this chapter a lot, it's full of action, balanced by the beginning of set up. Excellant.
lazy-bones-the-dragon chapter 7 . 3/8/2011
:P For a person who claims to suck at battle scenes, you did quite well. :( My sympathy and condolences for what you're going through in real life, I know how draining that can be on a person and certainly on their creativity.

Your character isn't overwhelming, as some fics tend to do, she has just enough spirit and spunk to be a believable character without overdoing it. I agree with a few others that the Joes MIGHT have let off a tad easy, but I don't see how the story would have worked unless they gave her a little leeway.

:3 I also love how you try to use some of the more obscure GI Joes in your story (Tripwire is so adorable and DeepSix intrigues me). Any chance I might get to see some cameos from the more international origin Joes? I just finished watching all the old GI Joe Cartoons and catching up on the more recent comics and I'm totally obsessed over the British Joes. Hehe, Big Ben and Lt. Stone are so awesome! Suave and the nicest guys you'll ever meet, but totally badass as well.

I look forward to seeing more from you. :)
Karama9 chapter 7 . 3/8/2011
Very good action packed chapter! Not much else to say, but it was worth the wait. You did just fine with the battle scene, I think.

Looking forward to the next update.
willwrite4fics chapter 6 . 2/23/2011
It's a little heavy on the flashbacks. Otherwise, it's reallly excellant and interesting. You're showing down-time with as much facination as action, and the action with as much detail as downtime. That's hard to do right, so congrats.

Your OC isn't overbearing, although I think they were still a little light on her, considering they are about to head into dangerous action. It's one thing to have sympathy on base, and another when she's supposed to be backing you up in the place she was ordered to be. But it's part of her "damage" too, so it's still coming out as interesting instead of not.

I'm really enjoying it and I'm looking forward to more! LOVE the cameos(which are also in character) and love that you mentioned DeepSix and presented him as his antisocial self properly!
Karama9 chapter 6 . 2/22/2011
Nice chapter. Don't have much comments this time, sorry, but Nomad still seems realistic (by GI Joe standards), which is practically a tour de force for a female OC trust into the spotlight. I have noticed no particular issues with anyone's characterization, either.

The mission reminds me of one in the first few issues, same kind of tactics from what I can remember. Is that what inspired you?

Keep up the good work!
Karama9 chapter 5 . 2/15/2011
I would have liked to see the hand to hand. :)

It did feel a little bit choppy between scenes, but sometimes that's just how it needs to work. She had a busy day, it's only fair that the chapter feels like a lot of things happening one after another.

That's a big reception for a new Joe... I don't recall them doing that for anyone else, must be a slow week action-wise. If you don't want it to look too exceptional, I'd make sure it's clear a few others had the same 'surprise' when they joined.

Still enjoying this. Good work, and I like how you have a lot of Joes popping in. There are a lot of Joes around, and it's nice that the story shows that. I do wonder whether they'll ALL like her, though. A nice conflict could be fun, and could help her grow.
Karama9 chapter 4 . 2/8/2011
Another nice chapter! I love how you portrayed Clutch, seems spot on to me. And now I'm craving lasagna.

As usual, looking forward to the next chapter.
willwrite4fics chapter 4 . 2/8/2011
OMG! It's an OC that doesn't make me squirm! I'm almost waiting for her to show paranormal skills or her hair to suddenly show a streak of purest white. It's toooo good to read a story that's excellant, out of the blue. Can't wait to see her progressing. And DeepSix! Yay! Gotta love seeing the Joes passing by, still in character. Excellant.
willwrite4fics chapter 3 . 1/31/2011
Excellant. Looking forward to seeing her interact with Joes next.
Karama9 chapter 3 . 1/31/2011
I'm very glad Hawk is not going to let her get away with that kind of stuff. Incidentally, I think I have a weakness for Hawk telling people off.

Nice chapter, looking forward to seeing where this is going. I hope to see more Joes take an active role once Nomad gets to the Pit! :)
Karama9 chapter 2 . 1/26/2011
That's a really interesting beginning. I like your style, but I have to be honest with you, I worry each and every time I see an OC take center stage.

You seem to have kept her balanced up to date, and I do like that she's pretty messed up by what she went through. The only thing I would advise caution against is for everyone to let her get away with unacceptable behavior just because she's great enough for them to put up with it. I'm not saying she'd be kicked out for being disrespectful, but if it's deemed to be due to psychological issues causing her to be unable to control her temper, she'd probably be offered therapy and be kept off active duty until she's in control of herself again. That'd be my guess, anyway.

That's all just paranoia talking, though. I like the beginning, other than that little worry about the Generals being a bit permissive with her. I'm very much looking forward to more!
willwrite4fics chapter 2 . 1/25/2011
Nice writing, neat beginning. However, the one thing that spoils the fic for me is her disrespect towards General Hawk in particular, and her superiors in general. Her cursing and talking back and acting as if she's in charge sort of ruins the scenes for me.

You've got good phrasing, nice set up of scenes, the dream bit was nicely presented. As long as you don't try to have your OC be in charge of everything involving her, it should be a really neat story.
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