|Reviews for Rainbow|
| Bardothren chapter 16 . 7/9
First off, congrats on finishing your story! It's always nice to see a story come to an end instead of being left undone.
I thought I'd leave some quick thoughts on what I thought of the story. First off, I love the premise. The Kimono girls are seldom touched upon, and I've never seen them explored in such depth. I also like the city-wide cult around Ho-oH and the general atmosphere of reserved hostility towards outsiders.
I would like to point out a few places where I felt the storytelling could have improved. First off, the ending felt very fast, as though you were trying to tie off the story ASAP. It feels less like an end and more like the beginning of a new, more sinister phase of Mai's life. I can understand this, since it sounds as though you want to set the story aside until you have the time and desire to work on it.
Another chapter that felt off to me was the presentation of Sumomo's diary in Ch 14. It's very generic, it's main points could be relayed in more interesting ways (such as Naomi or Tamao telling her) and the diary ultimately does not matter, as Tamao says.
Those points aside, I enjoyed the story and I'm looking forward to the sequel. If I have time, I'll try to go deeper into what you did right.
| kail420 chapter 16 . 7/2
Good one, and the ending really did justice to the whole story.
| kail420 chapter 15 . 6/24
| Scripturiens chapter 15 . 6/24
I can't believe we have an update for this! What a pleasant, beautiful surprise. I'm so intrigued, half on the edge of my seat waiting to know what will happen. Once again, you've truly managed to create something unique in regards to Pokemon.
I'll be sorry to see this story end.
| TetrisEffect chapter 14 . 12/4/2017
This story is excellent. I'm serious about that. I've never read a Pokemon fanfic like this. Most stories on the archive are either romantic ones or they are the same old pokemon league challenge journeys that have been done thousands of times. I'm glad I came across this story that focuses on the kimono girls and Ecruteak City in general. The city is my favorite place in Johto and showing a darker side to it was a treat.
I so want Mai to ruin the city's harsh traditional systems. The caste system going on had me mad from the start. Her not becoming the Ho-Oh felt so fixed (which Tamao intended.)
I'm still wondering who killed Naomi, but there's no doubt that Tamao had a part in it. And Morty- why exactly did he leave? Is it to avoid questions or the guilt that a rainbow wing possessor is being sent to death? He seems to acknowledge this as wrong- so why didn't he actively do something other than offer warnings? Oh wait. He'd become an untouchable because that god-forsaken caste system.
There are next to no grammar or spelling issues in the story. The text does not draw attention to itself, and the story is nicely paced and fluid. No part is boring or extraneous. I can envision this conflict really happening unbeknownst to travelers, who just pass through and want a badge or a brief tour of the city and its history.
Even the Pokemon world has politics, and this story portrayed it a realistic way that fit right in with the Pokemon universe.
I'd really love to see the story completed.
| Scripturiens chapter 14 . 8/18/2017
I don't remember how I came about this story but it changed the way I think about the entire Pokémon universe. Not a big fan of the series nowadays, I have played steadily through the games and always found them charming in their quaint little way. To imagine entire lifetimes, stories, mysteries in these towns and cities - what a world of possibilities! And what a gift you have given me.
I hope you continue with this story, it really is fantastic. Looking forward to more.
| dearlambie chapter 14 . 4/30/2017
oh my goodness. this whole story is just so original and so clever. i sincerely hope you update again, though i'm glad i found this where I did. this last chapter was amazing, and very satisfying.
| WyldClaw chapter 14 . 10/24/2016
oh my goodness
| Scheherazado chapter 12 . 5/30/2013
Wow. Wow wow wow.
This fic is beautiful. Though I suck at them, I really love it when fics take a canon universe and do something outside of it - not a journey fic or any canon characters, but simply a setting and an original interpretation. And then the original characters are just great. Everyone seems memorable, even the ones who hardly appear at all. Your descriptions, especially of dances, are incredibly eloquent - I really kind of wanted to see more elaboration into the element fo dancing, but it feels fine anyway. The way this weaves with canon is just I can't even.
But of course, the plot, holy shit. All these questions and the incredible way you build up suspense. So when I checked the update tag, I was pretty heartbroken that it hasn't been updated in eight months. Fingers crossed that you'll update, because if I don't find out what happens to Mai/Ho-oh/everything, there's a chance I might cry.
| Y-ko chapter 12 . 9/26/2012
Ah, that's cute.
| kail420 chapter 12 . 9/8/2012
| TheOldRival chapter 11 . 7/30/2012
Oh my gosh. Shes, dead! Why is it that my favorite characters always die? :(. This is such a good story, I can't wait until chapter 12.
| QuoteMyFoot chapter 11 . 6/24/2012
Very powerful ending. I wasn't expecting that at all. And even though I'm not interested in dancing in the slightest, you really made me feel for Mai when she didn't get the lead.
Looking forward to more!
| kail420 chapter 10 . 5/19/2012
Good chapter. But i think a trainer like timmy would have been famous if only slightly with a team like his, so if Jake has recognized him it would have looked more genuine.
| Y-ko chapter 10 . 5/19/2012
Have I mentioned that I'm super-glad you say things like "teacher Sato" instead of using it as an excuse to throw around Japanese suffixes? Because I am.
You screwed up the tense a few times in this, though.