|Reviews for Under bound boughs|
| The Genius Mage chapter 16 . 3/6/2011
Oh sorry for not reviewing! Something came up at school and I totally forgot.
Anyway, so now we have the Descender! Male version. Poor guy is pretty clueless, and with Asch gone, Natalia'll have her hands full.
You've inspired me to get Radiant Mythology. It'll be here sometime this week, maybe then this'll start to make a bit more sense to me. XD
Great work so far!
| Coronae chapter 2 . 3/6/2011
Sorry about this being so late- I have no time. ;; If you want them done quicker, then you can just PM me and I'll get to it faster. As it is, I'll try and do a review once a week, if that's alright with you...?
/"We were, very busy." Natalia murmured, dashing all/
The comma is oddly placed- it's not an error, per se, but it looks somewhat awkward and is even more awkward, still, to read it. The tone/pacing could have been set by other means. (for example: "We were... very busy")
/The young man grimaced and winced at each find in his hair, that set him to cringing in pain as the red scratched* all over his face stung at each unintentional expression./
*Scratches? And I'm not sure why, but I found the unintentional expression thing to be very endearing. :)
/Kratos Aurion summed up Asch's rather laconic report with a wry. "You were busy?"/
I can't remember the rule for this correctly, but I think that if the description continues into the dialogue, you're supposed to end it with a comma? Like: /"with a wry, "you were busy?"/
/The contradiction was intriguing, and again, he wondered as he had before it* their origin was not the same./
/ben* sticking out like page marker./
Kratos' observations of the two were very interesting, indeed. To have them behave in a similar manner was also quite nice, as it hints at Asch's nobleman's upbringing. Although, what was most interesting was that you made Natalia wear her Kimlascan Princess outfit. XD She was taken from the castle, so it would have been more appropriate should she be donning her Beloved Princess outfit, right? I mean, it doesn't /really/ matter! It's just curious, is all. Ah. And I see that it was here where the cat creature and boy were mentioned... So I suppose Natalia and Asch meeting and aiding them was not so bad a thing as Asch'd initially believed it to be? ;) Guess it pays off to be soft, sometimes. Still, your portrayal of them early-on is pretty good! Natalia was a bit more... Well... Mean, for lack of a better word, but that could have simply been due to Luke and competition for him. Asch is dead-on (but he remains static. You're right about him already being 'an adult' in the respect of his personality).
And hopefully Raine may be able to teach Natalia new Healing methods or something for her not to be so useless. ;;
| Azure-Wulfe chapter 15 . 2/13/2011
..poor Natalia, oblivious to the end :p
Still, at least they do seem to be getting along well enough :'D And hopefully the poor lil descender will be all cheered up by the time they find Aschy-pie ;'D
| Azure-Wulfe chapter 14 . 2/11/2011
..d'aww.. dunno who to be more sorry for here; Aschy for being faced with the prospect of one of the very creations that he believed destroyed/stole his life, or the descender for being mistaken as such and hated/feared for it :3
| Coronae chapter 14 . 2/11/2011
/Natalia gasped, sense* Asch drawing near, heard the Bloody's indrawn breathe./
*Sensed? And I think you meant breathes, too?
/Neither of them didn't look to the child./
Um. I don't think this makes much sense (my apologies if it does, I really need sleep).
Anyways, I love that you allow them to learn from each other! Having Asch be the one who was able to settle the situation, rather than Natalia, was nice. There are many ways to deal with such things, and showing that there are certain approaches that are wrong was truly a great idea. Natalia seems to be the sort who often uses only a specific manner of dealing with things. The manner with which she addressed the boy was the same as the elderly man, and at times, such an approach is uneeded and unwanted. Asch is really opening her eyes :)
They're both able to deal with people in their own ways, and I rather like that you show this.
I also like that you made the child cry. It makes me wonder if he was simply frightened by Asch's reaction, or if Asch's attitude towards him earlier caused to boy to take a liking to him. I've not played this game yet, so I don't really know who he is or anything (which just makes this even better, honestly).
| Coronae chapter 13 . 2/10/2011
Thank you, Kasan. This fic has been distracting me from my homework since it's composition. : Sorry if there are any errors in this- I /need/ to get back to my essay. ;;;;
Ah... I fear that I am running out of positive things to say about your writing, too. :( I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, aren't I?
In any case, having Asch and Natalia instead of Luke and Tear was /quite/ an interesting idea! And I rather like your portral of them both pre-game- especially your insertion of propriety (I was wondering just /where/ that was in game and in all the fanfics!) and of /sound/ (his armor and sword, and everything. The game is completely based on music, so it is extremely interesting that you would put that in there!). Although having Asch as a melodist seems somewhat odd... I do not believe he was ever stated to be able to do that? (But then again, he is the scion of Lorelei's power... So he would be able to utilize the Seventh Fonon in all ways possible, I suppose).
I also like that Asch comforts Natalia in his own way, whilst she was worrying over the Score and the Seventh (I really hope she's able to do /something/!) and that they had such sweet moments. Those were some of the things I wished would happen in-game, but... Well, Asch is an idiot (I think the rate at which his hair grows is proof enough of that? :). You capture all sides of them so well. I like that you emphasize/show Asch's rashness, and the princess' naggy side. Many people usually only focus on their 'good' points, but them quarreling and bickering is just great, too. :)
Your descriptions were also just /beautiful/. Of the plants and of, well, everything. Even the boy's laughter at the end of this fic- the way you described it was just awesome. :D
But there were some errors in this, nothing big (and just stuff that's easily passed over):
/She also save the ingrate cat from /
She also saved would make sense, considering that you're writing in 'past tense'.
/So the Bloody let go of his blade and stopped clenching the hilt so tight that it was tattooing his palm with the hilt's minimal pattern./
This may simply be personal preference, but I find that you used 'the hilt' far too often... ;; You could have simply said, "with it's minimal pattern", instead of referring to it by name.
/eyes absently flicking across the ground he helped without meaning too. /
To, not too. xD I think you know what the purpose for each is for, so I shan't explain them.
Unless you mean that he helped her as well, and did so unintentionally?
Oh, and... My apologies for not having responded- I seemed to have lost your reply. Um. There were quite a few errors throughout this fic, though. And I've no qualms about finding them for you, if you'd like. :)
| kash30032000 chapter 12 . 2/10/2011
What is this! If the game is as good as your story I want to play! What system is it on? I bought Tales of the Abyss because I wanted to read Flicker of Judgment. The game is awesome (and so was your fic)! I can't wait for the next chapter!
| Azure-Wulfe chapter 12 . 2/9/2011
*snickers* Even through the prospect of having a lot of work to do, she just could not concede victory in the end. How very.. Kimlascan. :'D
And Asch's ideas about a roasted Mormo.. truth be told, i lol'd. As cute as the winged rodent/cat is... he more than annoyed the crap out of me in the game :p
| The Genius Mage chapter 12 . 2/9/2011
This "Mormo" fellow is awesome. I love that guy.
Anyway, great chapter! Asch shouldn't be having such mean thoughts about the kitty-it sounds adorable! *is a sucker for cute things*
At any rate, thanks for the enjoyable read! Can't wait for the next part!
| Azure-Wulfe chapter 11 . 2/8/2011
Water fiight XD
Best cure for 'the grumps' ever :'D And it certainly did break him out of his dark thoughts, if only for a moment :3
| The Genius Mage chapter 11 . 2/7/2011
I love how you ended this chapter, it gave me a lovely mental image. _ Oh yeah Natalia's fast all right, Asch'll have his work cut out for him. After all Anise once said, "For a princess, she has the stamina of a farm hand!"
Hehe, great work on this chapter.
| Azure-Wulfe chapter 10 . 2/5/2011
It must be a real drop down for Natalia, really, to have to work to make it through a day, being poor.. :3 but then, at least it will give her a little extra insight into the lives of every day people that she can used to better rule once she returns to Auldrant .
Another good conclusion to a chapter, nice work!
| The Genius Mage chapter 10 . 2/4/2011
Ah so at least they know a bit more about the history of this place then. I thought we'd be hard-pressed to find a world with a sadder history than Abyss, considering the crap that happens in everyone's backstory and the world in general, but this'll give Auldrant a run for its money.
All in all, nice chapter! So these two don't think they can be heroes? Heroes are found in the most unlikely of places...If they had thought they were capable of being heroes then they wouldn't be ready, don't you think?
| Azure-Wulfe chapter 9 . 2/4/2011
I'd feel sorry for the old guy, if only he wasn't so.. lacking in the knowledge department. For some reason i just can't bring myself to any degree of sympathy for those ignorant of all around them.
That moment at the end of the chapter where Natalia discovers that Asch was originally Kimlascan was a nice touch; silly Asch, starting to drop his barriers around her and let things slip like that .
| The Genius Mage chapter 9 . 2/3/2011
Ah hah so the people here must be REALLY primitive then, I thought it was already a little on the...yeah anyway poor guy doesn't even know he's chatting with the princess and someone who is effectively her body guard slash fiancée.
But technically being a princess means nothing if you're never treated like one, or people don't even know what one is.
Fantastic work on the chapter like normal! _