|Reviews for If Only He Tried|
| Looneytoon chapter 1 . 8/2/2012
I think this is an amazing story. It really well written
| Cherriesxoxo2496 chapter 1 . 2/18/2012
I liked it, in a way, except I think she kind of brought the whole Al dropping her thing on herself with her seemingly 'You can't touch me' attitude, if you know what I mean...Loved it :)
| DesaraSoleil chapter 1 . 7/1/2011
...W O W. Wowwy, wow, wow! I can't believe I've gone almost a year without reading your awesome nave, Hope! Darn school! But this has been a great way to really start my summer!
Gotta say, your writing has really grown. Not to mention the new themes and twists in your writing. You've been busy. ;)
The Elvis Presely line and the comment about Louis' ego made me giggle aloud. I was hoping that Veela charm wouldn't go to his head, but its funny that it does and that he gets shoot down . _
AHHH! That was my reaction to the words Antara Thomas. AHHH! Sorry, had to do it again. How can you not help but love a Patil/Thomas spawn? You know exactly how to get to me. lol
You've created quite the character with her. I don't even know how I feel about her because you've made her so... different. You'd at first think she's a MarySue beacuse every boy is in love with her, and that she even says so. But she makes me think of Lena, from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. If you're beautiful and you don't have the personality that enjoys it, it's more of a curse than anything else. And the fact that she went out with James simply to make Albus jealous makes her the more realistic. You wonderfully dodged what could have been an annoying character with grace and originality. Major props for that.
I liked your writing style as Albus' voice. He's calm, oddly rational yet you cn really read his emotions through the lines. I can imagine he's the kinda person who can really hide his feelings except for the people who know him best who can see right through him.
"No," he hesitates, hands shoved in his pockets, "I'm not going to say anything."
AWESOME MOMENT! Such a perfect climax! Or anticlimax? lol I love it because you, once again, ditched what could have been another cliche. Albus walking away like that was childish and selfish and stupid and real.I can't think of a better way for that to go. I can't remember a time I enjoyed a non happily ever after fanfic so much. Very well made writing choice there, my friend.
I can't wait to catch up on all the writing you've done. From this I can teel they won't be a disappointment. Well done Hope!
| allie's hope chapter 1 . 5/5/2011
A word to decsribe my feelings for this story: adoration.
A word to describe your talent at writing: exquisite.
A word to decribe how I am feeling right now: sad. and only because i wanted so badly for Antara & Albus to end up together.
I mean their names even sound good together! But in all honestly I found this story to be eloquent and sweet and just the right amount of romance and angst and all together teenage-ness at Hogwarts.
| chasingafterstarlight chapter 1 . 3/4/2011
Aw, this was so sad, Hope, but amazing- just like everything you write, yo.
Albus was so /realistic/ and 3D, and Antara was just a great character all around. Both of them were just great, and good together, even though she "ended up with James" in the end. I loved it.
| combeferring chapter 1 . 2/24/2011
Good grief, Hope, could this be any more brilliant? (Answer: no).
Antara is absolutely fantastic. You made me feel like she was a cannon character that I've been reading about for years. She was one of the best OCs I have ever seen, hands down. I adored your Al as well - he was so easy to relate to!
I also need to mention how you worked the Elvis prompt in - that's a hard one!
I could rave about this forever but I can't so I'm simply going to tell you that I loved it beyond belief, m'kay?
| emmagraceling chapter 1 . 2/23/2011
lol. I like albus but this makes him sound like a jerk. roflmbo
| Princess Mariana chapter 1 . 2/22/2011
| Smile Life Away chapter 1 . 2/12/2011
I was thinking Parvati/Dean when I first saw Thomas as her last name, so I was close. Anyway...I don't like Albus in this, but I understand why he acted the way he did. It was good, I thought, and well-written. I guess I didn't expect them to get together, but I kind of wanted them to. Ahh...well...we can't always have what we want. Can we?
Nice story, I enjoyed it. I was wondering how you were going to stick "Elvis Presley" in there, but you managed.
Smile Life Away D
| fabricated fantasies chapter 1 . 2/11/2011
This was amazing! A fantastic job!
"But she doesn't notice any of them, even when they pull out their ridiculous Elvis Presley hairstyles one day, and he rejoices in the fact that she doesn't ever become played in their games."
"Become" is unnecessary.
I loved the RoseScorpius reference (as they are awesome) and the line:
"she floats straight past him like a breeze (that he knows he'll never catch)"
It's all incredibly wonderful and beautiful.
Great job, Hope!
| my best enemy chapter 1 . 2/8/2011
Very lovely. I like Antara a lot and I love their kiss- that was sweet. But I was confused about why exactly she's making him jealous and why he walked away. Maybe you could have fleshed out the ending a bit more? But, all in all, it was quite well written.
| XxXxDreamerxXxX chapter 1 . 2/5/2011
I liked it! Your OC was good and well rounded, unlike most Mary-Sue OCs out there. I only have one complaint, and that was the length of the paragraphs. I feel you could have lengthened some, maybe added a bit more detail.
My favorite line was probably the second to last one, "She could snog James all she wants, but he knows that the relationship was always about him and Antara, you see- it was never, ever about James and Antara."
Overall, very good. Keep writing!
| echoing noise chapter 1 . 1/29/2011
I always seem to like the fics where Al dates a bitch. Huh.
Now, normally I have an anti-nextgen policy; I'm not really a fan of the characters enough to put up with the various cliches and writing "tricks" the authors too often imploy - and there are many. *However*, there was shockingly little of that here, so you are now my hero. [*swoons*] In fact, the only thing that bothered me was the beginning lyrics - because capitalization, dear, is a great thing. Well, that, and the present tense, because really, are we going to sit here and say it was for the sake of the writing? Or was it because you've just seen it done so often before and have fallen in love with it?
Not that I'm not probably worse about it than you - I've fallen into that same rut. I fear it's the beginning of a decrease in my writing quality, but to condemn you for it would be the most hypocritical thing I've ever done. Besides, it does work well for this and I wouldn't have it any other way, quite honestly. This is just me being picky. ;) [And yep, we're still taking about the tense, which doesn't even have very much to do with the actual story, so apologies for going on so long, and we'll move on.]
I'll say that this was a lot of fun to read. I'm not sure I liked the ending - *purely* because it was slighty sad, mind you. Well - I'm going to start a new paragraph and come back round to this; I have a weakness for tangents. ;D
So, it was fun to read - absolutely true. I really liked your charecterization of Al, because it's exactly how I imagine him. Of course, I'm going to ignore the kind of-maybe hints at his Gryffindor sorting. Al is Slytherin. Sorry. ;) [And now I'm worried that you actually did say what House he was in, but, oh well. I'm ignoring that, apparently.]
The ending was 'sad', yes - I put it in quotes because it wasn't *really*, and I am the angsty queen and refuse to lower myself to calling such things sad. But it was... shall I say moving? That's not quite the right word, but oh well. What I'm trying to say is that by the end, I thought it was very bitter. I had already begun to root for them as a couple, you see, and so I was dissapointed. [It was rather stupid of me to root for them given the tone of the title, but oh well.] It was emotional, an as an Al fangirl, yes, I did find it sad. But not from an angst viewpoint, mind you. I am protective of my title and will not apply the word to the wrong things. :D [You do get I'm joking, I hope. Oh, and, wow, that paragraph made little to no sense at all. Fun!]
Anyway, I'll try to make sense of what I just said. I'm confusing myself. :( I'm trying to say that I felt for Al, and I was mad at the end, that they didn't get together. I was also upset that he broke her beforeshe could break him - and that's not the exact quote, I know, but still. I guess it's because I just wanted a happy ending where everything's okay, and you never get that in these kinds of romances, because we all like that bitter taste, don't we? Oh, now I'm just being cryptic and cynical and all that. [Oh, All That reference!]
Because I've got a terrible attention span, let's go back to the beginning lyrics for a second. Now, I had a problem with the blatant lack of capitalization, sure. But I really appreciated how they actually made *sense* and related to the story. A lot of people just put in lyrics because it's their favourite song or band; the fact that you actually put in lyrics that made sense helped a lot in me *not* losing all my respect for you in the first line. ;)
:) Sorry. This looks like the end of today's review, so I'll wrap up with some more praise: This was a fun read. I loved your charecterization, and your flow was very smooth. And despite not liking nextgen, this is still going on my favourites.
PS: I'm sorry that I'm a bit all over the place with the review. I'm usually not like this. *cringe* Sorry. It was a fabulous fic, if it helps!
| lydiamaartin chapter 1 . 1/28/2011
Oh, wow, what a wonderful story! I don't bother to read many OC fics (well, who does? XD), but this was really beautifully written and the characterization was simply /amazing/, Hope. Albus, in particular, was brilliant and flawed and lovable all at the same time, just how I like my Al. And Antara was carefully /not/ a Mary Sue - I could see her flaws, and I could also see why Albus loved her and the relationship was developed wonderfully. And while the ending might be considered a cliffie, I actually really liked it!
Fantastic job, and keep writing!
| renzhie chapter 1 . 1/27/2011
Whoa whoa whoa (I can't really make decent review, can I? -shakes head-)
Okay, first off, this was absolutely wonderful. I loved this. I love your Al. Can I marry him? (I have done the same question to Listen's James, but oh well..XD)
And Antara! Whoa. Methinks you should make more AlAntara, just saying. ;)