|Reviews for Chaos Effect: First Contact|
| Tom712 chapter 61 . 11/1/2016
well i might be a bit late but this is amazing.
| kill3rdarren chapter 61 . 7/27/2015
Shit, i was skeptical about this story to be honest, but, damn. A piece of art right there. Love it!
| kill3rdarren chapter 30 . 7/21/2015
Loving this story! Enjoying the Rana and Forest romance. So subtle and slow. Can't wait to see how it turns out.
| kill3rdarren chapter 13 . 7/3/2015
wow, just read up to here. And im loving this story! :)
| RED78910 chapter 61 . 6/28/2015
This story was simply amazing. The characters were all enjoyable and believable, and I truly felt sorrow for when one of them was injured or died. (Goddess, my heart just goes out to Rana.)
You clearly put A Lot of time and thought into the setting of this piece, and that really helped flesh everything out. not everyone does that. Nicely done.
The action was always incredible, and the story was very entertaining and original. Always had me on the edge of my seat.
I can't wait to check out your other works and give my two cents (as long as that will be useful of course).
You've done a man's job sir. Well done!
| RED78910 chapter 32 . 5/17/2015
You remember what I said before about not having really 'met' any of your characters yet? I completely take all that back. At least for Delina. What we learn about her in this chapter...it just really makes her a whole character and person rather than what I call 'just a name and a face' if that makes sense.
There's simply nothing else I can say other than it's just beautiful how she was able to open up to Jackson here like that. Truly great work.
| RED78910 chapter 30 . 5/4/2015
Apologies for the relative lack of reviews. In any case, as with this chapter I'm about halfway done with the story (at least in terms of numbered chapters) I think it's a good spot to give my impressions of the story so far.
Overall, I very much like this story. You have good flow, a well described environment and setting, excellent action scenes, and characters that are likeable. The buildup to the main story is rather slow, but that gave you time to work on getting comfortable with your characters and developing their combat capabilities, so not really a gripe from me there.
As for constructive criticism, which I'm hesitant to give given that this story is so old it may no longer matter, there are just a couple of things.
First is that I personally would have liked a few more character developing scenes or chapters. Sure we have the odd conversation with Delina where she hints to having a dark past, Jackson is always going in to see Rana, and Kaira has been shown to have a partner she well and truly cares about and we know a bit about her past, but I haven't seen too many moments where I feel I've really met and seen these characters for who they really are. Does that make sense?
Another thing is the romance between Rana and Jackson. Now, don't get me wrong, I like that aspect of the story for what it's worth, but going back to not really knowing these characters, I'm just not sold on the idea they know each other well enough to try and bother with a relationship. It could be to try to get to know each other better sure, but it just doesn't seem to have much of a spark to me. Again, does that make sense?
Still, overall you have done a very good job of putting together a very entertaining and unique story, one that I look forward to finishing. Excellent job!
| RED78910 chapter 23 . 4/19/2015
Shit. I did not expect another kidnapping attempt, at least not one so soon. and of course it happens right when Jackson and Rana are kinda sorta getting an idea of how they feel for each other.
| RED78910 chapter 17 . 4/17/2015
Interesting bit with Captain Ryala. If one hostile can be turned, and honestly thought they were one of the good guys, I really wonder just what that means about the people Jackson and the others are fighting.
Also it's going to be a Jackson/Rana pairing? Interesting. I probably should have seen that coming, but the way Jackson and Delina bicker all the time made me think there might be something there.
Ah well, silly me.
| RED78910 chapter 12 . 4/14/2015
Now THIS is what I'm talking about! This is what all other SI stories need to have! This is exactly how things get changed up and the galaxy made better, which is exactly the point of an SI in my opinion!
Excellent work on this chapter. I can't tell you how excited I am to see what things are going to be changed and what is going to be made better by the time the main ME timeline rolls around because of this revelation right here.
Even if not all the details from the games are correct, there should still be enough information to help the galaxy prepare for the war to come.
Anyway, I could go on, but I'll press forward.
I like that we got a bit more information on Kaira; that she has a husband/bondmate she cares enough about to want to more or less hide from the rest of the team.
You've not really dropped very many (if any) large sections of straight up character development, but that slower pace has lead us to more slowly and perhaps realistically come to know these characters as they slowly reveal the details about their loves and personalities. A nice new way to have characters evolve I think.
Good on Delina for forgiving Jackson so quickly. I imagine it was hard for her, given what little we really know about her.
| RED78910 chapter 11 . 4/14/2015
Another interesting couple of chapters.
This Contractor guy seems like an interesting antagonist. A shadowy figure with a lot of secrets, soldiers and a sinister motivation. Looking forward to seeing what happens with him!
The Council meeting went about as well as it could have gone considering they're a bunch of incompetent morons. At least they didn't freak out over Kaira bringing aboard a member of a pre-spacefaring species. That could have really been awkward to explain to your bosses.
The club scene with Delina and Jackson was also pretty good, though I do admit I wish it was a bit more descriptive when it came to the strippers, but that's probably just my perverted mind talking there.
Also, and I know this might sound weird, but those two bicker so much that honestly I can't decide half the time if they're going to try to kill each other or fall in love at some point in the story. Again, weird part of my brain talking.
Still very well done!
| RED78910 chapter 8 . 4/9/2015
A very interesting chapter. We finally learn a bit more about Kaira and Delina, and Jackson and Rana seem to be building up a decent friendship.
Not sure why Kaira's apparently keeping her relationship with that turian a secret, but I'm sure that there's probably a good reason.
Delina's home world was attacked by pirate/slavers? Huh. That would explain a lot about her, as would Kaira saving her life explain why she's hanging around when she doesn't really seem all that enthusiastic about being a commando.
The GTRA bits, as inconsequential they probably will be to the overall story, were actually my favorite parts of this chapter. It shows a more 'realistic' side of the asari, one most authors never really attempt to show.
The asari are the only group of people I've ever seen, in fiction or reality, that actually discriminate against a portion of their population that is 'purely' asari. Everyone else favors a borderline inbred geniality in their population, so it was always a weird 'reverse discrimination' type situation I thought.
| RED78910 chapter 7 . 4/7/2015
This seems like a good spot to leave a review for the overall story so far.
For the most part this story is written rather well. It flows very naturally most of the time, the action scenes are well described, creative, and usually pretty exciting. These missions do tend to get a bit episodic and have little to no character development, but we are still very early in the tale and you do need to show Jackson, a civilian with no military experience whatsoever, coming into his own as a soldier. So it's not really too big a deal.
As for the characters themselves, though we have not learned much about them to date, it is nice seeing a slow progression of Delina from a harsh, uncaring character to one that actually seems to treat Jackson like a person sometimes. Looking forward to seeing how they all develop.
This chapter specifically was nicely done. A cool dream sequence that could possibly be prophetic? A reference to the Eclipse character we saw in ME2 whom I honestly believed the first time I played the game, and a cool boss fight. Again, nice job.
Still very much enjoying the story.
| RED78910 chapter 3 . 4/4/2015
So, I know it's apparently been a while since this story was completed, but on the off chance you're still around, I'll put this review up.
I just read the first few chapters, and this is an interesting story so far. Not too many SI's with this type of premise.
Now, let me be clear, when I say SI (which I know you argued that this is Not, but hear me out) I do not by any means mean that in a bad way. Some of my favorite stories on this site have actually been SI's. If done correctly with actual characters, a decent plot, and an overall well written structure, I honestly see no reason why they can't be as valid a story as any other.
Now, we are still too early for any real analysis or critiquing, but I like it so far. A human being taken by a group of asari explorers is interesting. Having the human become a commando is even more intriguing.
That said, and this is the only problem I have with this story so far, is that the commandos take Jackson along for the assault for no real reason. What's worse, they only give him the most basic equipment possible and don't even try to evaluate his potential combat skills, or even ask if he has any kind of military training at all.
I'm not saying the commandos would not have taken Jackson if he asked or impressed them with some feat of marksmanship earlier in the story, I just find it hard to believe that any military unit would take a random civilian they just rescued and put him into a combat situation where the human could get them killed for no reason.
Then again, these are asari after all. And as much as I do love the asari, they never seemed to have any real idea how a proper military was supposed to act, so maybe it's not all that surprising.
So, overall good work so far. Can't wait to see what's next!
| Littica Marek chapter 3 . 1/28/2015
Have to stop you here, Medigel was a Human invention, from the Sirta Foundation to be exact... it is also ironically technically illegal under Council genetic modification law.