Reviews for To be Devoured Whole
JarethGirl30028 chapter 2 . 4/21/2012
Now just hold yourself right the fuck on, is that it?

This passage was so good:

"Aw, that's too bad; you see…I already chose you." It laughed then, deep, chuckling, the sound sort of like the sound dripping water makes in dark empty places. "Hell, I already have you." Bob blinked, realizing with a kind of traumatized horror that he couldn't move. "You're bitter, Bob. You're oh so bitter, and angry. Do you know what that does to you, Bob? I'll tell you: it makes you susceptible. All your hates, your fears, your lies, your very existence and the loss of your family? All sweeteners. It makes it so easy.

"In fact, it's almost too easy…your kind are so…soft. It's incredible. So very incredible how weak you are. But I'm easy. I'll take you anyway. So, let's see how much of a hold I have on you, shall we?"

Are you not continuing? I hope you do, this is interesting.

JarethGirl
JarethGirl30028 chapter 1 . 4/21/2012
Something about your words is rubbing me the wrong way - mostly in the mental conversation. I feel as if you're trying very hard to emulate King's style. It's not bad writing; I just feel like you're trying a bit too hard. I am interested, though, and am definitely looking forward to reading chapter two. My words weren't meant to be rude or make you feel bad - just some (hopefully) helpful criticism. :)

JarethGirl
GeologyRocks chapter 1 . 4/24/2011
ooh. I got chills when he said "It floats!"

What a clever & original idea! on to chapter 2!
HalfClown chapter 2 . 3/30/2011
Dude you need to continue this! It's so good! D:
Andalusia25 chapter 2 . 2/15/2011
Very well painted with words... it's an inky death trap swallowing you whole.

Keep up the good work :)
HalfClown chapter 1 . 1/31/2011
Holy crap, I always thought of Gray being a separate (and soon combined) entity apart from IT itself. This is turning out great, please continue! My curiosity will cause my head to burst.
Andalusia25 chapter 1 . 1/30/2011
Great start...

Creepy - check, believable - check, distrubing - check, sad - check... yup you've got it all!

I like the idea of the 'mental' conversation between the monster and the man, it makes sense. Much better this way than the old way. Keep it up!