|Reviews for Shattered Eclipse|
| tai takamaru chapter 1 . 5/19
Hey can I join the story
| uno chapter 3 . 2/17/2011
Nice. Never thought it could be done.
| aradian nights chapter 5 . 2/1/2011
Alright. Hmm... where to start...
It's a cool idea, and you're executing it pretty well. Especially because this is your first fanfiction. Trust me, first fanfictions can be the devil at work. I can remember the first one I wrote, and let me tell you, it was awful.
It IS good. Interesting, not too bad on the spelling, and the plot keeps me reading. However I've found a few glitches. This story is AU material, so I'm guessing it's an AU set in the Heroes universe? Yes?
Also, in this chapter it says Molly met Terra in New York at first. Then it said she met him in Texas. I'd suggest doing what I do and re-read the chapter before you put it up. It would help with those kind of errors, and trust me, I've made them.
I'd also suggest not writing 'AHHHH' for screaming. I used to do it as well, so don't worry! Your writing is actually good for a first time fanfiction writer, and if you keep writing you'll definitely get better. Instead of 'AHHH' just put something like, 'She screamed, and clutched her head.'
So, yeah. Very interesting so far, and of course, I love crazy Nami, so good work on that! If I find anything else I'll review. But I think it's pretty good. Continue, and try to touch up on stuff. Don't speed into situations like you did with Sylar. Sylar's a bit classier than that. XD