Reviews for Cries of the Fallen: The 72nd Hunger Games
Moonlight Resonance chapter 6 . 4/21/2012
Wow. This SYOT looks really promising. Most other SYOT's reapings would either be boring as hell or infested with grammar problems, but I'm so glad that I found one that actually attracts my attention! Daria appeals to me a lot, because she's tipping towards the tomboyish and the strange poetic side, which reminds me of myself. And for Daniel, well we just can't have enough cocky Careers, don't we. Well I enjoy his demeanour, and I sincerely hope that he gets it smashing back to his face. No, seriously. Arrogant people are fun to watch. And isn't it fun to write them, thinking all the time that they're such a fool. Overall, awesome chapter, short enough to capture my attention (probably I'm the only one with extremely short attention span, so ignore that), but long enough to fit in many important and descriptive details. Well done! I hope you'll update soon, it's the actual Games that we're all lusting for. Keep writing!
just me chapter 6 . 4/27/2011
"...The sea never complained, never burdened me with its problems..."

A sea? Lots of plot possibilities here! What happens when District 4 people try to build boats? Has anyone tried to swim away? Is this part of an ocean, or one of the Great Lakes (at least one was called something in a local language that got translated to "sea" in English) in which case Panem might be on all sides?

"...My smile grew larger. Well, this saved me the trouble of volunteering..."

Whoa.

Just, whoa.

You can tell I didn't read all the other tribute-submission comments besides mine (and no hurt feelings if you don't pick my D11 dude!) and spoil the story for myself, right?

"..."I want you to take this with you for luck. It worked for me, why not for you?" she asked, laughing..."

Worked for her for what? Is she really...?

"...Their visit was fairly uneventful. We were very close and I loved them to pieces, but our relationship was normal. No estranged parents, no forceful volunteering, just mutual respect. Katie had been the one to mostly bring me up. We exchanged hugs and well-wishes, and they were off. With their oldest child being a Victor, I guess they weren't as worried as I was. We all remembered the day she was reaped- we were nervous as heck. But now we knew the drill- say goodbye for a week or two, then I win..."

A-ha. She is.
just me chapter 5 . 4/27/2011
"...My dad disapproved (and that was putting it lightly) of me writing poetry and painting...He believed that I should go into a technology job like he had to support our District..."

As if scientists don't need to write up the results of their research! Don't you hate it when some people proclaim themselves all math-cience-math-science but then diss the writing skills, teamwork skills, etc. that actually getting lab work done takes?

"...It stood for District Three Portable Gaming System, and was the equivalent of olden days' PSPs or DSes..."

Whoa, he knows what a PSP or DS was?

"...and our parents set us up on 'play dates' that were really excuses for them to leave us in a playpen and have dinner..."

Kids catching on to parents being just people is often a nice bit of wry. ;)

"...A long hand with decorative nails snaked into the bowl, moving fluidly to find the piece of paper that would sentence a child to death..."

Very well said.

"...'Noah Anderson!' I shook my head, sad for the poor soul who would be going into the Hunger Games this year. Poor Noah Anderson. Noah Anderson? I was Noah Anderson!..."

I like how you wrote how slowly it dawns on him - not happy, but impressed.

"...He wasn't comfortable with my lifestyle, so I moved out when I couldn't stand it anymore. I got an apartment and my mom and Ashley visit me all the time..."

Whoa, how'd he afford a separate apartment (whether or not he shares the rent with roommates) so young? I bet that'll be revealed in a later chapter!
Europa22 chapter 6 . 4/26/2011
Great chapter as always! It's refreshing to see someone who isn't a career, but is till a bit messed up haha as for yhe boy, he's cocky but it's a good cocky. Plus he will have his sister hopefully :) ooh I can't wait for the next update girly!
Hahukum Konn chapter 6 . 4/26/2011
Yay! :D Another tribute! :D I look forward to moar reapings! :P
Beware of the Nargles chapter 6 . 4/26/2011
Daria's cool. Don't love her, but I definitely don't hate her. I liked that she didn't make an effort with her reaping outfits, and her outburst and feelings of wanting to run away and stuff were an interesting aspect of the chapter.

Daniel's not as likeable... much as I ADORE Finnick, Daniel seems a bit colder/more arrogant? than him... but I can't wait to see more of D4 - and inevitably, Finnick 3

Well done with this - I enjoyed the writing style in this chapter especially.
perryperry chapter 6 . 4/26/2011
Hey, great chapter! I think Daria is pretty cool, but she seems to have a lot of family problems. I do feel bad for her, but she seems like she'd be a really tough girl. I also found it funny how much she didn't care about the reapings and just wore her swimsuit. xD

And, you were right when you said these were two completely different people! I was expecting Daniel to have the inital shock that most tributes have when they get reaped, but he was happy. o.o Oh, he is such a cocky career! Just because your sister won doesn't mean you will! ;) oh, and finnick. :D i love how you put him in there!

This story is really good, and I like the way you write, you use a lot of descriptive words! Also, good job on the wuick updating. :) Keep it up!
our dancing days chapter 6 . 4/26/2011
Too long/too short/just right: I think it was a bit shorter than the last chapter, and I wanted a LOT more of Daniel! :D So, 9/10.

Comments on characters: I'm in love. I mean, obviously Ryan is the better D4 boy tribute *wink wink nudge nudge* but I LOVE LOVE LOVE Daniel! He's so arrogant, a typical career, has Finnick as an idol... *insert dreamy look here*

Daria is awesome, too. (You Americans and your contagious language) I love her little one-liners, and I got a really good feel for her personality and character.

For characterisation... SO much better in this chapter! Maybe because the tributes are so different, but I got really different feels from both of them, and I could just TELL that you've put a lot of thought into it. 10/10!

Comments on writing: Beautiful, as always. Daria was almost poetic and descriptive, and then Daniel was cocky and more care-free. 10/10.

What you would like to see: District 7 and District 11! :D No, I'm joking. I'd love to see a new chapter though! D5, HERE WE COME!

Amazing chapter. I think this is one of my favourites so far. Great job!
perryperry chapter 5 . 4/25/2011
Ohh, this was such a great chapter! You portrayed both of the characters perfectly. I love the whole district three portable gaming device thing, ohh those crazy techie parents. I also love Karla and Devin's motto - Diapers to Death. xD

Noah and Ashley's relationship is so sweet. It makes me so sad for Noah. D:

This is a really great chapter, and you update pretty quickly too! The length is really good too, and I think you still get to know the characters pretty well just from their reapings. Keep it up! :D
our dancing days chapter 2 . 4/25/2011
Omigosh, in my review for the 5th chapter, I meant Brilliant, not Blight! Thanks for pointing it out, but I just wanted to clear that up.

Eeek! Sorry, tripleta!
our dancing days chapter 5 . 4/25/2011
I'll just start with: EPIC CHAPTER, AS ALWAYS. Okay, and moving on to the form!

Too long/too short/just right: Just right, although it could be a tiny bit longer... but that's just me, I like really long chapters. :) I'll give it 9/10.

Comments on characters: I like Devin, maingly because I can relate to her. She seems very realistic also, which I like in a character.

Noah is quite a quiet character, isn't he? I must admit, I don't have high hopes for the guy, but then again, he may surprise me, which I love! I would like him as a person in real life, but I just don't think he'll last that long.

Can I just grade you on your characterisation? If so, 8 1/2. They were very good, and you got most aspects of their personality across. However, I feel as though they were quite similar in style of the PoVs, rather than as though they were two different people. That's my only complaint.

Comments on writing: VERY good. You know I love your writing and your style: Professional, but with a casual air to it too. 10/10. Also, no errors that I could see!

What you would like to see: Hmm... well, my characters, of course :D It may be against the author's wishes as well, and probably in the far future, but I wondered about Blight and Valentine... I think they would be a good example of "opposites attract". Plus, neither seem like a typical cold hearted career. Well, I wondered if they could be in a sweet romance maybe? Not one that steals the story or anything, just a little something on the side. I don't know if Francie would agree, but it was just a thought.

LOVE DG, and I can't wait for more! Brilliant job! *wink wink*
Europa22 chapter 5 . 4/25/2011
Oh dimitrisgirl18 you succeeded again in an amazing chapter! I fell in love with Devin i like her a lot haha for some reason i thought she was a boy until it sad she put on a skirt and blouse. Then i was like waaaaait thats not a boy! Anywho i like her a lot! As for noah, i liked how he was with his sister. I dont reallly have an opinion on him yet. We shall see how he later :D overall, great chapter and im looking forward to more! Update sooon!
Beware of the Nargles chapter 5 . 4/25/2011
Not gonna use the form, but again, I loved the chapter!

It wasn't too short or too long, and if you can keep up both the quality and the quantity till the end of the reapings, then congratulations!

I loved Devin - poetry and painting are awesome; I'd hate to have to hide stuff like that.

I also feel sorry for Noah's little sister.

Great stuff!

:)
Hahukum Konn chapter 5 . 4/25/2011
XD Nice touch with the electronics! Rather reminiscent of PK9's fic with Maxell Dyson. :)
just me chapter 1 . 4/23/2011
You still need a District 11 boy? Here goes:

Name: Jan van der Merwe

Gender: male

Age: 17

Preferred District: 11!

Second Choice District: 11!

Personality: This fellow I'm basing on the guy in .c0m/funny_videos/mascots_district_eleven/ (after changing the c0m to com) ;)

Appearance: Tall, short black hair and mustache, hazel eyes, clear pale skin, medium height

History/Background: His favorite classes at his vocational public high school are writing, forestry, and genetics. He wishes he could be a TV journalist if/when he grows up, and has practiced posing and mugging for the camera for years. At 16 he even entered 3 slips to improve his chances of getting on TV, but still didn't get reaped. This year he came to his senses and went back to entering just 1 but still got reaped.

Family/Friends (please include detailed info about the person/people who will be interview for Final Eight): Jan is the second of two boys raised by a single mother. As an agricultural district mid-level worker, she manages to sneak home enough food to keep all three of them well fed (and helps her coworkers do the same). Jan has several friends and they all find each other fun to hang out with, but he's got no BFFs who take him seriously and this sometimes saddens him. Years of not being taken seriously by his friends have taught him to dismisses any injuries he gets and tell worried people he's more OK than he actually is. Which one of these family or friends will be interviewed if he makes it to the Final Eight? I leave that choice and characterization to you, dear author! :)

Strengths: Hiding his weakneses, kicking things

Weaknesses: Naïveté

Strategy: Win over the audience!

Alliance: Up to you and how you choose to write him and the other tributes, dear author! :)

Romance: Up to you and how you choose to write him and the other tributes, dear author! :)

Preferential Death: Quick

Reaping Outfit: dressed up for the cameras just in case - yellow tie with brown stripes, white short-sleeve dress shirt, black slacks.

Chosen/Volunteered (if volunteered, why?): Chosen

Token: a vuvuzela (made of plastic made of plant byproducts) with a shoulder strap

Interview Outfit: How would your designer characters dress him? :)

Angle: Friendly dude who appreciates his audiences

Quote: "What are you looking at? I'm fine!"

Chariot Outfit: How would your designer characters dress him? :)

Strategy (i.e. wave, hold hands): Wave to, and smile at, the audience!
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