Reviews for Control
Delirium Majere chapter 1 . 2/26
Monkey Fist usually follows honorable rules of engagement. He might trick you, and lie to you, but something this underhanded I suspect he would find beneath him.

But eh. Yay, the Mary Sue is dead! (Sorry KP, but ya kinda ARE a Mary Sue...a nicer one, relatively, but still...)
Dsman chapter 1 . 4/30/2013
oh yikes
VivaNewVegas chapter 1 . 3/16/2011
holy shit. That was disturbing. not sure if i'm going to sleep tonight with images of heads hung by the hair in lockers. (shudders) well written though.
MonkeyLi chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
oO Okey that was really a dark fic. Usually I don't read fics with no slash in it (you know me ;)but this somehow caught my attention, I read the end first to see what it is about and as I read the horror ending I couldn't help to read the whole fic. I never thought about that focus split in two point. I always thought he is only focused on Ron anyway.

Well, I am really glas he never actually killed someone for it would be completly against buddhism (which he practise as you see him meditating that much). But for I can't really stand KP anyway I don't feel sorry one bit and liked the outcome of the story. Great that he don't fail again against her and wondering why no other villian had the simple idea of sneaking into her house with an surprise attack...

Thanks for keeping the LJ alive
PengyChan chapter 1 . 2/3/2011
Man, that was REALLY dark stuff. XD But hey, I like dark stuff, and I loved this fic - for several reasons.

First off, I really like your take on Monty's childhood and youth. When one has to live up to so much expectation and is so used to be controlled all their life, it's no real wonder they'd get the idea being on control is the key to everything in life. I loved reading Monty's thoughts as he thinks about how his lack of control is the reason he loses to Team Possible. That's an interesting angle I had never thoght of.

The moment Monty is approaching Kim was really chilling to read. It's great how you managed to make me feel uncomfortable without even having to be explicit about what happened. In this case, leaving what followed to the reader's imagination was a great choice: not only is more effective, but it also leaves the reader wondering what he's going to do next with Ron.

Man, he sure couldn't have picked a more perfect torture for Ron. I had pretty much guessed he'd find a surprise in his locker, and it's great how you had me sitting on the edge of the seat while waiting for Ron to open his locker and look inside. I love it how he doesn't see what's in the locker right away, but only realizes it after a few seconds. The poor guy! But as much as I feel for him and Kim, I truly had fun reading this. Great job!
VampireNaomi chapter 1 . 1/30/2011
Oh, wow! This story took me by complete surprise. You sure weren't kidding when you said it was going to be dark. It was an interesting idea to explore Monty's failure to defeat Kim and Ron from this perspective. I don't think I've ever seen something like that before.

The part in which Monty makes up his mind to kill Kim and sneaks into her house was delightfully creepy. I think you built up the suspense really well there, and I liked the contrast between that and the happy beginning of Ron's scene. And the ending was absolutely horrifying, which is of course a good thing in this context.

There's just one thing I noticed that was a little off. In the beginning you said that Monty's parents came to school functions with cell phones. I don't think cell phones existed at the time Monty was a kid.