|Reviews for Pokemon Heroes: Uprising|
| The Gray Dragon chapter 32 . 1/29/2014
Look SOFT (:P)! I got off my lazy butt and decided to finally write a review! :D
Okay, now where to start. This chapter felt more or less a building chapter, the prequel to something that is building up. While there wasn't a lot of action, besides the Rocket and UAAF standoff (go rockets :3), the most exciting thing for me was the battle, which was at the beginning of the chapter. After the high of the battle, my focus started to wander as the chapter went on. However, the banter between the Rockets and the UAAF peps really entertained me. Gotta love government work. :3 Overall, a good chapter, not too many spelling errors and grammar mistakes. However, I had one MAJOR PROBLEM with this chapter. As I happen to remember, you said you would post this on Saturday night. YOU LIED! You posted it at 1:30am on Sunday! That's an hour and a half past the deadline, Soldier! Get your act together! :3 Now, if you need me, I'm going into hiding before I get grief from this review. Even despite your tardiness, good job, SOFT! :P
| The Red Baron chapter 18 . 1/28/2014
"The UAAF F-35's were relatively no match for the more experienced F-22 pilots."
F-22s are only Gen 5 fighters, while F-35's are Gen 6 fighters. How is it even possible for F-35s to be no match for F-22s?
| MegaAuthor chapter 32 . 1/28/2014
After four months in waiting, and finally our soldier from the future decides to show up after getting lost in the flood of problems. If there is one thing to start from all of this hiatus is to say, "Welcome Back Soldier."
Hmmm... Perhaps this shall be your new quote each time you post a new Pokémon fanfic, along with other fanfic you'll likely to post in the future. I've already give a unique quote for Avatar-of-Kane, so that same treatment should be applied to you as well.
Welcome Back Soldier.
We return the scene where we left off Riley and the two awesome hybrid Pokémon, whom one of them I hold a personal liking with... Poor Cynthia... Their overall accomplishments has help the Rangers against the Black Obelisk in a major way that allow Riley to stand among champions, but as a researcher, Riley couldn't take such credit.
Also, nice hidden reference to Red. Love it.
The Rangers overall group after the battle is understandable well phrase to say the least; they were in the stickies situation before Riley and the two hybrid came along, and now they have switch their aggression stance to a more relax status, though we all agree that a few days of relaxation boost morale than pushing them into a brick of exhaustion. Also Pokémon battle. That is also a good morale boost. And Cynthia opens up. Hmmmm... Triple morale boost anyone? Is Yellow Comet Kanbei there too? No? D mn
Hmmmm, I didn't go that far regarding Cynthia involvement against Team Galactic. Could you elaborate for me in a PM? Thanks.
After a little R&R, our side heroes are brief regarding about a 'personal' mission from Havoc, who, like any Commando that prefer a shoot-first-ask-later mission on a UAAF prisoner compound. Riley at first didn't want to join in, bur volunteer nonetheless, despite knowing the danger of such mission.
Okay, let me stop here before I go to the UAAF/Team Rocket moment; I really dig the military stuff you are trying to make, from the strategy to the military tanks and aircraft, but this is Pokémon universe, where... Pokémon themselves are heavy artillery unit themselves, from the tiny Eevee to the pseudo-legendary Garchomp. It may turn off a lot of people, and maybe it didn't. Personally I think having a military setup in a Pokémon world is like an itch I can't seemed to scratch off. The saving grace is the Pokémon battle between the Ranger and Riley, but even that moment has too much dialog between Riley and Cynthia, so the experience is an err moment.
Now onto the UAAF/Team Rocket moments. We have the baddest, hardcore and craziest cracked agents on both side, and they are debating who to kill first; Ash or Havoc. The boy who attract legendary like magnet or the man who is so legendary by stature he may as well be Gary Stu. Zephyr is also mention, but he operates alone, so the operative didn't seemed to mind so long as he didn't meet up with any of the two. I guess everyone seemed to have forgotten the true last boss from the hero's side who is waiting on . Speaking of which... Why didn't UAAF/Team Rocket discuss about that? Is it taboo? Some kind of bad omen? I really like to know Soldier.
...and so everyone decides to have a Mexican standoff... Just great. Heroes can easily band together but villains when group together always had this sort of power struggle. If this keeps up the hero will likely win by default; they didn't even have to storm the fortress to see the power struggle between villains killing themselves. Well, at least Donald Zetta calm them down with his Phazon thingy power (insert dirty tentacle joke here).
So we now know that Ash and Havoc is being monitored by the UAAF/Team Rocket. One by Raine who happens to have a microchip in her brain-
Raine: Wait, I have a what?!
Blade: Calm down Raine, we can easily handle that problem.
Blade: Call out Rotom and have him use Thunder on you.
Raine: Are you crazy?! Did you want me to die?! Or is this because I was being rude much earlier before?!
Blade: ...Well, Ash Ketchum got hit by his Pikachu's Volt Tackle and lives. I see no problem with that.
Raine: At a cost of my IQ?! Over my dead body buster!
Blade: Errr... Right... Point taken.
- And we have Havoc's superior who is just as corrupt as the UAAF himself-
Felix: Unacceptable! Treason by the highest order!
Vladimir: Should we Coup D'etat?
Felix: Hell yes we are! This calls for Marshall Law! Order our troops deployment in 10 minutes! I will lead the charge myself!
Vladimir: Ghahahaha! Count me in Comrade!
- who is promise more power than before. Hmm. I like where this is going. Hopefully our heroes are prepared for the approaching storm.
So far, I had a so-so moments here but as always, I enjoy reading it nonetheless. I give it a 8/10.
| Ferosianinja chapter 32 . 1/26/2014
Your back, nice update, though I would recomend that after a absence this long you put a "last time" in the AN
| Dustchu chapter 32 . 1/26/2014
Wow, this was so AWESOME! :D
I loved it, awesome work my friend and awesome job on it! :D
Whoo, its nice to see the rangers are all okay, they need the rest after that last battle.
I do hope Riley and Havoc get this mission done without a hitch, but knowing how this is going something is going to happen.
And who!o boy TR And the UAAF are at it, thought some heads were gunna pop there for a second. Freaking Marauder man, Him versus Surge, who would win?
Nice work man and awesome job, I can't wait for the next chapter! :D
Keep it up, *looks at authors note at the end* Yeah hopefully it won't XD
Peace out, and may the Aura be with you!
| Mulierculum chapter 32 . 1/26/2014
Jolly glad to see you're still alive, I was getting worried!
Great chapter, looking forward to the rescue attempt. Just two points this time. In the second sentence, I think the word 'that' is missing. It should read - "...leisure time, the lieutenant knew THAT not..."
Secondly, in paragraph 19 of War Room (the second mini segment), it should read "burned-out cigar", not "burned out-cigar".
Hope t hear from you soon and keep powering through!
All the best,
| Narcissus.Icy.Wings.of.Will chapter 19 . 9/24/2013
Chapters 16-19 are easily my favorite part of what you have so far (after skimming through the rest). I sure hope it doesn't stay my favorite. ;)
I was never a huge fan of Cynthia, but your version of her sure deserves a good recognition from me. She's suddenly my favorite character from this story, haha. I like how you're playing up Riley as well (another character whom I had previously thought had little purpose).
| Quanginator chapter 31 . 9/22/2013
Nice. I liked this chapter almost as much as the chapters that are very (not extremely) Altoshippy. So congrats. All I ask is that there be more Altoshipping moments in future chapters. Thanks.
| Narcissus.Icy.Wings.of.Will chapter 13 . 9/20/2013
...Altoshipping. Approved. b_)b
And, oh right, Zephyr. You better have a REALLY good explanation for Zephyr or I will be disappoint. xD If you already don't in one of the chapters you have already...
I especially wonder what you're going to make Mewtwo has to do with all this. If HE's entering the fray, you know SOME shit has to go down. xD
Overall, nice read so far. Hell, one of the better fanfics I've found on this site. b_)b
| MegaAuthor chapter 31 . 9/10/2013
Ah, another chapter to enjoy. Gotta say I kinda miss the whole action pack scene and the slow character development is starting to wear thin. Nonetheless, I have a good laugh out of this chapter.
*Wild Rattata appeared!* What the - *MegaAuthor uses Bash!* *Wild Rattata fainted!*
So we have the whole gang - minus Gary, to Pallet Town on Route 01. Ahhh, nostalgia, what a wonderful thing you are. So we have Ash and his friends journey down on the most peaceful ground on Kanto, and we get to see the inner thinking of each group. Raine share her side of stories to Bianca, even trying to encourage her to join her journey, which I don't think is suitable choice since she is not a fully dedicated Pokémon Trainer and her involvement also means she has to share the same level of danger, not to mention she has the old man to take care of. On the bright side, if Bianca did join in, she could see the rest of the region's beauty and splendour, and as an artistic girl, she shouldn't pass that opportunity. Blade share his own, but more on a negative side... Blade, you are like a brother to Raine; at the very least stop acting like a bodyguard and more like a big brother... err... Overprotective brother.
*Wild Rattata appeared!* Oh, come on! *MegaAuthor uses Ray of Frost!* *Wild Rattata fainted!*
Is it just me, or has Ash just matured a little? Hmm... "I'll guarantee that you guys will love Pallet Town, as my mom's cooking is among the best in the universe!" ...Okay, I take back what I said... As for Leon, I have no comment regarding him being new to the hybrid thing, sharing his experience as a Ranger as he make camp on hostile environment. Typical Ranger moment. The talk steer in an odd direction when Leon start telling Ash regarding his last few Kanto adventure, and then our dimwit Chosen One said something he shouldn't be saying at Leon regarding the Ranger's ranks.
*Wild Rattata appear!* Oh for godsake! *MegaAuthor used Deathscythe LV5!* *Wild Rattata fainted!*
Raine suddenly mention about having a handsome legendary Pokémon as a childhood friend... *Goes off-screen* Raine Reddins, what in Arceus name did you do to your spin-off character?
Raine Reddins: Hey, she was created before I got my own series, buster! It's not MY fault our script are totally different!
Blade: I had to agree with her; I AM her bodyguard before promoting to 'Overprotective Brother' status.
Fine, fine... Where was I? Oh! Yes, Raine! Raine begin to tell Bianca more on Pokémon training and stuff to our flower girl from the Orange Island. She has a soft side still, which Brock manage to draw out when he mention both Ash and Raine makes a good tag team.
*Wild Pigeot appears!* HOW IN THE BLOODY HELLFIRE DID THAT HAPPEN?! *MegaAuthor uses Dark Bolt!* *Wild Pigeot fainted!* Can we just skip to Pallet Town already?!
Now, after the whole team finally made it to Pallet Town, with most of the team awe-inspired at the town... Wait, Leon, Jimmy and Raine is new to Pallet Town in Kanto Region? I thought it was compulsory to visit Pallet Town as soon as you enter Kanto Region, with Professor Oak being the head of the Pokémon research and stuff? Continuity fail? Anyway... Betting is bad, and you should know that Leon, you experience that first hand against Latios. Also, nice reference to my own fanfic regarding Raine smelling like a Grimer, SOTF.
Hmm, Ash had people greeting him home like a hero... Did that actually happen in the anime, or did I miss that one out on the later version of it? Hmm...
We then cut into the scene where Ash has finally come home, greet his mom (who asked if he had change his underwear regularly... Hilarity ensures) and the group gets to converse with Delia. It was an okay moment until Latias quietness becomes apparent, with the entire team not knowing how to respond! Ash, of all people had to slip his tongue, saying that she is a nobody. Latias, you should feel bad; how is he your lover again when he can't even give a proper excuse? What would Misty, May, or Dawn would say?
We cut to the moment where Ash brings Raine, Bianca, the Duo Legendary Dragons, Leon and Jimmy to Professor Oak laboratory, where Ash kept his Pokémon. Again, nostalgia moment when Bulbasaur walk in and greet his master. I guess being a natural born leader did has some uses for our Seed Pokémon. And Raine, you do catch a lot of Pokémon; you simply free them later, remember?
Raine: I did?
Raine Reddins: I think he's talking to me.
Anyway, good story, tons of enjoyment to take on, and we have all the character development going on. The story is starting to get a little taxing. The next chapter is probably going to be action heavy after 3 chapters of slow pacing, well lid character development. I give it a 8/10 rating.
| Mulierculum chapter 31 . 9/9/2013
Great chapter once again! Though there was no heavy action, the pace flowed well and was a pleasure to read.
Two quick points, in the 24th paragraph when Jimmy was thinking, I believe the words 'went to' are missing. Currently it's in the past tense, reading "If there were two things he did not return to, it was his former Team Rocket masters..." but I think it should be "...he did not WANT TO return..."
Also, on one occasion there was a plural confusion, using the past verbe "was" instead of "were" when talking about JJM.
My main point I would like to stress however, is please don't beat yourself up. I, as indeed I am quite certain as do countless others, absolutely love your story. Your writing is by no means sub-par and you should be exceedingly proud of everything you have done and how you have developed the past few years. There will always be certain writers who perhaps are better than you, but don't let this get you down. There are also far more who could never live up to your writing style and ability, myself included.
The entire aim of writing a story is to give something to people to enjoy and you should take immense pleasure in that your story is giving that pleasure to potentially hundreds of people. Don't worry, as long as you enjoy writing this story, there will be many, many people who will enjoy reading it.
As always, I am your faithful friend,
| Starlighz chapter 31 . 9/8/2013
Very good chapter in my opinion, I really like how you made Ash's mother incredibly perceptive so it seems she will be safer than most in her situation. Ash and Latias seem to be getting closer, which I guess amuses the group to an extend. I really like how the group are getting closer than ever, I wonder when Raine will admit the truth of her creation to the group... Great chapter!
| CDR2Magi chapter 31 . 9/8/2013
Another amazing chapter! Thanks for it! Your writing style is amazing!
| Dustchu chapter 31 . 9/8/2013
Whew! :D what an awesome chapter! :D I loved it to the extreme!
Also spotted this
The chatter and conversations with Ash soon ended, which allowed the trainer to be on his way. It was only minutes later that they finally arrived at their destination—a small house made of wood that was two [storeys] tall,
Should be Stories. its when they reach his house. this is all I spotted. :)
And Nintendo 64? I approve XD love that old school stuff man :D you made my day with the Nintendo 64 bit. XD
This chapter had me laughing hard! XD mainly with Delia! XD
this was a very awesome that was very well written and played out... :D Loved it!
And he has shown his mother along with all of his Pokemon his Pokemon form along with Latias and Latios, wonder how they will react next chapter? :/
Well my friend, I cannot wait for the next chapter of pure unfiltered UBERAWEDARYNESS! I an looking forward to more. :D Keep it up and till next time my friend.
Dustchu and Pokemon Crew: May the Aura be with you. :) *Salutes*
| Mulierculum chapter 30 . 8/24/2013
Just want to say that I really am loving your story. I love how you have really managed to portray the Pokémon's characters through dialogue and thought, Asia reader it's really interesting seeing the silent characters I grew up with come to life with voice.
I only have two quick points, firstly on a whole, be aware of gender, every now and then through the chapters you've gotten a him-his/her mixed. Only a minor point, but it does throw one off briefly. Secondly, in this chapter just a bit of continuity that threw me. Both Jimmy and Leon fell asleep in the foyer but awoke in their beds. Unless Nurse Joy went 'Super-Mum' and carried them up or they awoke after a nap and went up themselves, this was not confusing, but rather it took a moment to realise.
Besides that though, as I said I am a huge fan of the story so far and can only wait with untold eagerness for the next installation.