Reviews for Chains
Guest chapter 12 . 6/17/2015
Guest chapter 1 . 12/4/2014
So did Roxas shave all of his hair off? Girls and guys have at least pubic, arm, and leg hair, you know. If you like your business shaved, power to you, but if he was shaved by the auctioneers before he was sold, he'd be covered in a hell of a lot of cuts. or maybe Roxas was born with a bit of the elvish blood or something.

Also, why is Roxas constantly being described as tiny and little boy? That implies that he is way younger than Axel, and when I hear that, I'm personally picturing 4 to maybe 7 years old. I know a lot of fic writers like to write the kid as a skinny girl with a penis, but having Axel describe him that way, even in third person narrative, is kind of creepy. Is Axel Japanese or from another country that specializes 13 year olds and up? Because I thought this was a future or parallel universe New York.

And finally, the sentence "hunched over, curled up, though sitting upright on his knees" makes no sense whatsoever.

Otherwise, the scene was set well and I'm interested to read more. You have a nice, following writing style. I hope Axel gets more like able as time goes on. He's not totally sex crazed, but he does come off as more misogynist than most average men.
xX Mochi Devil Xx chapter 11 . 4/24/2014
Kawai-ne! I loved the whole story! Keep up the good work! Time to re-read!
Guest chapter 2 . 12/8/2013
I know axel is just a product of his raising, but he's a jerk nontheless. A womanizer and a mysogynist who finds out he might be bi. I am so behind this character who thinks he's a decent human being...not.
Echo chapter 12 . 9/17/2013
Brilliant story! Absolutely divine! Keep writing
o.j.j.e.child chapter 12 . 8/25/2013
GAH! I absolutely loved this story! Like oh my gosh, wow, just wow! chapter 12 . 3/25/2013
I just found this story and read it in one day! I loved it. Interesting and unique ideas. Great characters.

I really liked that the first few chapters didn't have much plot. It gave us a chance to get to know the characters and for the relationship to develop. Stories filled with action and contrived plot get in the way of developing realistic connections and interactions between characters.

You did a great job of Axel going to work while constantly thinking about Roxas, then coming home and them getting to know each other. I liked this story so much that I read Tonight, and I'm going to read Birth. I hope you keep writing. Thank you! chapter 12 . 3/25/2013
Just finished reading this story. Very unique. Loved it.

The lemon at the end was AWESOME AND HOT and a long time coming!

Thank you!
Guest chapter 4 . 3/24/2013
This story and birth are really good. I just noticed that the time frame in both stories is all over the place. Is roxas just not aware of the time? He thinks it was three days before he went to axel but axel said it had barely been two days
MoonOkamiMaka chapter 2 . 3/21/2013
I love this!
x.I.O.x chapter 1 . 1/5/2013
awesome stories! keep writingi
ParadiseAvenger chapter 12 . 11/20/2012
I'm not usually a huge yaoi fan, but I love slave stories so I decided to give this one a chance. I'm happy I did, by the way.

If there were any errors that usually destroy a story, I didn't notice them. Your word choice and sentence structure was fabulous. The writing was even rather adult with the majority of the characters being nice and balanced. The explanation with everything was wonderful, as well, like the club. And I was pleased to see Roxas wasn't Axel's first slave. You didn't just jump right into "OMG sex" either (which is good. I hate it when authors do that.) I loved the ending lemon. It was totally meaningful.

I also loved Riku. I was watching him with great suspicion from the very start and was glad he turned out to be half-a-villain or else I would have felt a little silly. He was brilliantly done. Along with "I'm not your nanny" Luxord.

Anyway, I do have a major critique. It would be that the plot was really nonexistant until those last few chapters. I mean, I was suspicious of Roxas's past from the second chapter or so, but then it kind of got lost in the loving fluff. There wasn't an inkling of betrayal (aside from Roxas's odd sale and lack of paperwork, but you wrote it out to sound like just an accident so I didn't pay it much mind) throughout those beginning chapters that made me wonder what was going on behind the scenes. Towards the end, I was actually wondering if there as any real plot at all or if we were just going to be left with that teasingly plot-ridden scene with Sora sending Roxas away from the orphanage.

And in the very first chapter, you introduced most of those Organization 13 characters, but never expanded on half of them. I was totally interested in the backstory behind "Zexion, a patient man Axel believed hated him" but it never came back up. Neither did Larxene's temper.

So, overall, this was a rather cute story, but it was rather lacking in execution. There could have been so many little details in those first chapters that would have fascinated me. I continued reading to see if it would get better and actually tell me what happened. Thankfully, it finally did.

My advice to you would be try to remember that you are driving towards the end of a story. Don't get sidetracked in the romance bit. Plot makes the romance interesting, otherwise... it's not really worth reading.

Kudos to you.
Guest chapter 12 . 7/4/2012
So sweet. awesome job!
SoudaFizz chapter 12 . 6/29/2012
Wahh, I just read this fic in one sitting w
it was just to read! Although it bugged me that the apostraphes, or however you spell it, were used in the wrong format (excuse me and my OCD-ness T_T), it was still nice! I really thought Riku died when he protected Axel though, I was like, "NOOOO, YOU CANT MAKE RIKU DIE! Nooo!" xD" and Roxas was a bit out of character, since he's a "slave", in a sense, which also made me think, "this makes him really feminine and uke material, but that's the point...right? Kinda, not really, idk"
overall, I enjoyed reading this chaptered fic. Filled in a bit of the gap to my sudden AkuRoku feels ; keep up the good work! (;
WritingInWhite chapter 12 . 6/24/2012
This story was amazing! Sadly, this might become the most famous Axel X Roxas fanfic, but probably not the most famous KH fanfic. Don't get me wrong, this was by far THE BEST KH fanfic I have ever read, but for some reason, a large majority of people don't like yaoi... If everyone did though, this would obviously be the most famous of all time x3 I loved reading your story instead of doing my chores and hw and such! Amazing story! Hope you continue to write such masterpieces!
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