|Reviews for Twilight Dipped Dreams|
| Jane chapter 8 . 2/23
This is wonderful i want more! haha.
| JourneyKat chapter 10 . 12/31/2013
Omg I love this story so much! I'm really glad you finally posted! It was so cute at the end where they both joked around on the bed. :3
| Zelda chapter 5 . 9/1/2012
| SongwriterPatries chapter 5 . 7/4/2011
Good story so far 3 I like it alot _ Can't wait to read the new chapter D keep up the good work!
| Ellipsis Flood chapter 4 . 4/6/2011
Don't get me wrong. The story so far has potential, but I'm gonna leave some concrit here.
1. Check your grammar/spelling. It's not horrible, but there are mistakes in there. I can't name them right now, but there are a few. Also, your writing seems rushed. There are often sentences that start one way and end the other way. Which brings me to the next point...
2. Get yourself a beta. Having someone else proofreading your stories will not only improve the quality of grammar and spelling because face it, four eyes see more than two. It will also help you get out some inconistencies. It often happens that you think that you wrote a fact down when, in fact, you didn't. This can, has and will confuse the reader.
3. Your storytelling. As I said, I see potential in it, but you could be a tad more descriptive from time to time. The world this plays in seems to be AU from the original game. You could, by the means of narrative, give the reader some information on what has happened in this world. We know that Link is dead and Ganondorf kicked out Zant for being the moronic douche he is. If it doesn't fit into the story, you can stick author's notes at the beginning of the story which describe some crucial differences.
4. The plot... finally. After all that rambling, my opinion on the plot: It seems interesting to me. I kinda like the whole dynamic between Ganondorf and Kohana. Kohana herself is... well, Kohana, which works quite well. You couldn't stick a doormat together with Ganondorf. Zant, as I mentioned, fits well too. I mean, look at him in the game. He's laughable, he's arrogant and completely drunk on power.
Now on to the other things. Meaning the things I didn't like that much. First off, there's Ganondorf. He seems a bit oblivious to other people. Especially towards Kohana. Part of that can be excused by the fact that he's, well, Ganondorf. But he really seems to care about her, even if it's just because she's his oldest servant. I can also imagine that he acts different around her. For obvious reasons. So, for a change of pace, I'd like to see how he's around his other servants... wait, was.
And finally something that irritates me in many stories: The rape stuff. I'm sure that I'm not only speaking for myself when I say I can't root with people who do that. Simply because, as TVTropes puts it, Rape Is A Special Kind Of Evil. While the whole thing with Kohana worked because he saw that she didn't want to, the scene with Zelda kinda put me off. Okay, it might not be flat-out rape, but you can't tell me that was consentual.
Oh man no one's going to read trough all that. xD
| Happygolucky chapter 4 . 4/2/2011
I absolutely love how the chapters are panning out, please for the love of all thats holy UPDATE!