|Reviews for And Her White Cloak Faded|
| calvinkliens chapter 1 . 5/24
This is ape shit. All you do is bash characters. Beastboy is the smartest when it comes to humanology.
| RaqualiaMio chapter 2 . 4/1
Your doing great! I like it that you focus on their relationship more than their needs. Don't worry about how you write it, this is in Ravens POV mostly so its fine. She's an empath and is afraid to feel, so you portray that just fine! But if you think you want to try to put more feeling into it, then write it out as how you imagine sex to feel like.
| Ignis Draconem chapter 17 . 1/5
i know that bb isnt the brightest of the titans, but for a human he is actually probably really smart, especially in biology and zoology, he knws everything about every animal ever, even mythical ones. im not saying i disagree with your story, i just felt like i should point something out.
| Ignis Draconem chapter 11 . 1/5
okay i had to stop reading just to say moonlight sonata is actually my favorite song ever, its so beutiful
| Guest chapter 54 . 12/26/2015
Character bashing was Dumb and lack of action and excitement in the last half of the story
| Dixxy chapter 54 . 12/19/2015
[...the last few brixxxx...]
"ALL THINGS MUST PASS" - George Harrison -
So, finally ?
Finally indeed... and somehow : about time ! Almost five years to complete is an awful lot ! Happily enough, few writers do this... but happily enough, you DID carry it to its end, and therefore has the "upper hand" on all those los-... hum, i mean, "storypenders" who specialize in leaving fictions unfinished. You did stretch that story in time, but at least, you DID complete it, and for that, whadowesay ? KUDO, CONGRATS and the rest.
A lil' detail first : my heart won't be full of R&B (Raven and Beast Boy, not R'n'B, eh...), coz i've never shipped (and never will) that couple. From the TV series, it's obvious they are total opposites. And those enthusiastic souls claiming that "opposites attract" are of unbearable naivety, coz opposites more often repulse each other than attract. SO yeah, blissfully happy (i.e. ingenious optimism in whatever situation) isn't for me. RaeXBB ? NO thanxxxx, most unlikely. And too bad if fans of that extremely improbable couple should disagree : they're overly naive, really.
And so, what's wz this chapter, eh ? Well, there's good and there's bad. Let's start wz bad and keep the good for the end. Always better to end on the positive, right ?
Bad is that this as-usual-mammoth-chapter (Russian writer syndrome much ?) contains its fair amount of typos and improper word use (i.e. a word used instead of another). Dunno if ya re-read yr text before publishing, but it honestly doesn't look like it. I'm not gonna insist heavily on the necessity to re-check a text before publishing (one of the main rules on FF, after all...), but y'catch my drift, eh ?
It also is a rather common depicting Lydia, and her relationship to Raven. The rebel teenager who doesn't get along wz her mum, who would like her parents to be gone, who over-drinks at parties and get her well-deserved ethylic coma, who looxxxx at a boy while chatting wz female friends, who's grumpy for not being the leader (while still being as much as the second-in-command)... the parents who control their daughter, read her thoughts or bug her communicator, the father telling his daughter to have "safe sex"... that sounds terribly common. Realistic ? Certainly, but in this case, it definitely doesn't stand out originality-wise. These are superheroes AND they are definitely different from the lambda citizens, so it would have been interesting that they raised their child a bit differently than everyone else. For instance, they could be more confident, perhaps slightly conniving wz their daughter to some extent, instead of the usual, trite relational pattern of the mother and daughter being at loggerheads, with a mentally rigid mother and a rebellious daughter who tries to avoid her. One gets the feeling that the Titans are just like everybody else, and that you get to read about standard people, not characters of a up-to-then clearly extra-ordinary story. Does that amount to concluding that this chapter's relationships appear banal ? Perhaps not, but in my opinion, the Lydia-Raven moment could have been more interesting with a more imaginative, original approach. Just saying... Yet it still had its sparxxxx of interest, granted.
Good is that this chapter is interesting about what it shows of their future, notably the reference to the aging Titans (wrinkles, baldness). Especially interesting to me was the part dedicated to Austin, and the one (right before) in which Raven realizes about his powers and collapses crying. And the Bruce part, wz Star and Robin brought to realization of HIS powers, was also captivating. And the last sentence was of utter beauty, almost poetic actually : one has to love it.
So, how about a conclusion on this story as a whole ? In order to let you know what i thought of it in its entirety.
So yeah, dear G., i've always thought that this "fading white cloak" was one of the best, more accurate, more interesting psychology-wise, more sensitive stories i've read on Fan Fiction. You really mesmerized me with your impressive work on thoughts, feelings, emotions, relationships and all that inner world of psychology, invisible to us all yet so damn crucial in everyday life. There are other stories out there which stand out because of the great care brought to the psychology of the characters, that's for sure, but rarely have i seen such accomplishment in the depiction of the emotional and mental universes, and such fascinating dialogs between already fascinating people. Coz yeah, the dialogs, together with the description of the feelings/emotions of the characters, were two majors assets of your fiction, and i don't think i ever got enough of the psychological depth of this story.
You brought in many events, many delicate situations, many tense moments, many crises, many lovely instants, many intense "sessions" (like you called them), and the thing is, i don't recall ever getting bored or tired while reading... or rather devouring your chapters. That tells enough in terms of intrinsic qualities of your plot, doesn't it ?
The one thing that annoyed me the most was Robin's behaviour, especially his drugging Raven's tea and therefore weakening Rae and harming Austin. I wasn't too pleased wz his acting around the Logans before and after Lydia's birth, but i got really livid when i read what he had done, and his "running with" Red-X. THAT really was the straw... ya know the rest, eh ! Hard feelings for making him that negative ? Hum, perhaps not, but i'm certainly not thankful neither. Well, i'll admit it gave a certain psychological depth and a certain additional tension and suspense to the story... but i guess that'll be it.
You're not the first one to make Robin the bad one or point out his excessive obsession or caution... like the show stressed out some mental unbalance or something, eh !
I'm most grateful to ya for crafting such a gem of a story, worth everybody's time (including the time of that guest who made a slightly laughable critic on this chappy). You've outdone yourself wz this one, and needless insist on how it's your masterpiece. Your other stories were quite good and interesting, but they didn't have that psychological depth, which makes the most of this story's quality. I was very honored to get the chance to read this... and guess what ? I've decided to read again some of my fav' TT stories, and after Writer Zero's EMOTICLONE WAR and Concolor44's TRANSITION, it's the turn of AND HER WHITE CLOAK FADED. Yes, indeed : i'm currently reading this gem again (I'm on chapter 9 right now), and it's such a delight to discover it anew ! I just ADORE this fiction here !
So all in all... loads of thanks, gratitude galore, endless clapping, tons of bravo's, billions of kudos to ya for creating such a wonder of a fiction ! You've made my days, months... and even years ;) with this utterly magnificent plot ! I really owe you a lot in terms of entertainment ! And i wish you good luck with your forthcoming story, with all the future ones, as i wish you even more luck wz your long-distance relation wz that Aussie (will it work ? No one can tell, but hopefully so...). And naturally, good luck in your life (i know it's far from easy, As i've got another "Asperger Friend" and know the difficulties that come wz it...) and best of luck as well in your studies !
May the gods be with you !
Take good care of ya, dear Laura ! :D
Peace, Love, Ecstasy !
:::: Léo ::::
| Gothica13 chapter 1 . 12/18/2015
I've never said that boys can't date younger girls in their teenager years. Bruce and Lydia started liking each other years before that, and as I wrote in the story, they're not going to talk about it until Bruce is eighteen because they do know the stigma and how their lives could be different within four years. One of my friends who was three years younger than her boyfriend and started dating him in 8th grade, is still together with him at the ripe age of twenty-five. I know it's a bit weird in modern days because we may think the man is taking advantage of the woman due to the history of marriage-but, if they are both consenting adults, it's really known of our business. :P
| GuestM chapter 54 . 12/18/2015
Great job with the finally. Your story ended on a sad note, but it was lovely. Nothing like the comics, although inspired. Like you said, Raven and Terra would not have worked in this story. And, yeah, Richard was strongly based on Cyclops, Scott Summers. In the originals TT comics, he was relax and was cared free. He wasn't so uptight. But, it made more sense to keep him dark than passive.
| Guest chapter 54 . 12/18/2015
I gotta be honest with you the ending was very disappointing because it was the same cliche ending like every other story has in which the children turn in to some 'overly dramatic emotional rebel teenagers' like Lydia did and forcefully pairing her up with another male OC like Bruce because she just 'had' to have a romantic interest because the author just had to show her fangirl teenager self in her OC and story. One other disturbing thing is that Lydia is older than Bruce but it's still OK for her to be attracted to Bruce who is very much younger than her if it was an older boy who was attracted to a younger girl i am sure all of your female fans would be screaming and shouting that it's wrong for an 18 year old boy to be attracted to a 14 year old girl but some how it is not a big deal when an older girl is attracted to a younger boy who is still basically a kid but we can all just ignore that because the author is a female right? the hypocrisy
| JasonVUK chapter 54 . 12/18/2015
:D fantastic ending!
I'm actually crying because it's over :c I've loved this story so much.
Sad none of BBRae's kids have any of BB's powers, poor BB.
:D You made such a great story! X3 So awesome!
| shugokage chapter 54 . 12/18/2015
Good luck with whatever you do in the future and nice job on the ending of this wonderful story!
| readergirl223 chapter 53 . 9/20/2015
thus was the best storie i have ever read omg that was so good is there a segual
| Guest chapter 7 . 7/27/2015
this whole preferring girl over boy is totally absurd you shouldn't have discussed this matter in your fiction this only proves how shallow minded you are. maybe you were wronged being a girl but that doesn't give you the right to pass judgment on the opposite are equal and should have left the discussion only at the gender revelation and not extending it to the differences and making your writing biased.
| Dudeyourcool chapter 1 . 4/14/2015
Dude I love your writing and I think you are so cool!
| Guest chapter 53 . 3/30/2015
Did I ever told you that you're freaking awesome? Well yeah you are! I will be patient for the sequel.. I will try to be patient. :)