Reviews for The Fire of the Sun
Guest chapter 25 . 7/23/2019
Im a little late to the Twilight train... but thank you for fixing it for me. You’re an angel.
WizMonCruWil chapter 24 . 6/13/2019
I read so fast, I didn't have time to review on individual chapters. So I will give the quick run-down on my thoughts:

I didn't think I would like reading in Sam's voice, when it first popped up. I thought it was a sharp, damn-near-drive-off-the-road swerve away from Bella. But then... I read how you wrote the Pack. And I HOOTED. It is very difficult to write comedy, you almost have to let the jokes and dialogue fall into your head before writing. This felt so natural. I infuse a lot of musical theatre references into my work, so when I read the little references to The Sound of Music after Jacob got laid, or when Paul just starts randomly and passive-agressively singing the Lovely Bunch of Coconuts song from The Lion King, I almost fell out of my chair laughing. (Btw, if Renesmee had ever been canon in this AU, I would have had Jacob - or another wolf - imprint on her and just start taking liberties with that ballad from West Side Story: "Renesmee... I just met a girl named Renesmee... and suddenly that name will never mean the same to me. Renesmee - say it loud and there's music playing... say it soft and it's almost like praying." AND then have Sam or someone else bark at him to STFU).

OK. Criticisms: I don't like that Jacob and Bella felt the need to overcome the imprint. I just don't. I know it added an extra layer of drama; I see that - forced romances that eventually bloom naturally is the oldest Fanfic trope in the book (see: Hunger Games. Both fanfic and in canon). I think you had it right in TMOTE with Bella deciding to work around it. She and Jacob could have learned to love each other, even with the imprint. Jacob's goal of wanting to court her properly sounds noble in theory BUT, if I was supernaturally tied to the woman of MY dreams, I would toddle off and buy a lottery ticket after what would surely be the luckiest day in ANYONE's life.

Second criticism: You had this, you just didn't take it far enough - Bella's assimilation into the pack, making her feel like one of them. I was hoping she could find a way to live on La Push, and have the others teach her how to be an imprint and a Pack Member's mate. Think Dances With Wolves set in the Pacific Northwest. You TEASED it - the scene in Sam's cabin where everyone is leaning over to read Carlisle's letter was my favorite scene in the fic - but you could have taken it SOOO much farther. Drop the Cullens like hot rocks faster and turn Bella towards her destiny of being in the Pack. Give it a family, campy feel.

Third criticism: the deaths. Yeah, yeah, killing Sam and Quil packed the greatest emotional punch. And Charlie's sacrifice was very moving. My opinion: if anyone in the Pack had to die, take out Paul and maybe even Seth. Now would THAT have been something. And it would have left the Imprint pairs intact. Because emotionally ruining a toddler for life and she is too young to understand why? - something unusually cruel THERE. Speaking of Paul (hate the guy)... but the implication that he has fallen in love with Bella was a really interesting twist. All implied, it was very effective, and it explained his aversion to Bella a lot... but it itched me enough that I wanted to see him struggle with that MORE. Just what DO you do if you fall in love with someone else's imprint? What, indeed. For a pack of werewolves, the Bros before Hos rule just might not cut it.

One more thing on Imprints: giving Leah one (a MALE imprint) would have been fascinating to see, given that she is the only she-wolf.

Yes, I know that this was years ago, but I would like to see a trilogy capper with Bella living on La Push with the tribe - perhaps married to Jacob and with a child. For now, I'll leave you with this: "This is the law of the jungle, as old and as true as the sky. And the wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the wolf that shall break it must die. As the creeper that girdles the tree trunk, the law runneth over and back. For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack." ~ Rudyard Kipling.
Cavelenare chapter 25 . 5/13/2019
Such a beautiful story. Really glad I took the chance.
Cavelenare chapter 23 . 5/13/2019
Oh Paul... oh my
Cavelenare chapter 22 . 5/13/2019
Holy hell what a chapter!
Cavelenare chapter 15 . 5/13/2019
Reading through Sam gives me such a headache. : I hope it doesn’t go on for much longer. Amazing story otherwise!
OCQueen96 chapter 24 . 4/11/2019
I absolutely adored Movement of the Earth, and I found this book enjoyable as well. However, your second story fell a little flat for me. A lot of the themes of your first book (different kinds of love rather than a "better" love, moving on instead of wallowing, the imprint being a good thing, etc.) were lost in The Fire of the Sun. The portrayal of Alice and Jasper is also something that took away from my enjoyment of this story; especially Alice.

While her psychic abilities are bizarre, I simply cannot agree with the idea that they come from insanity. When she was locked in the asylum I believe that it was purely because her abilities were believed to be evil by the people of that time period. Drugging and kidnapping Bella are something that Alice would never do in canon, insane or not.

Also, instead brushing off the imprint because it is useless, I think that you should have tried to work with it. The entire point of Movement of the Earth was the imprint. It made no sense to have Bella and Jake overcome the imprint in the sequel.

Aside from that, however, I did enjoy Jacob and Bella's romance. I also enjoyed the way you wrote Sam and Emily, even if Sam died. I do like it that you involved deaths in this story. In reality, fighting is going to cost some lives. Charlie's death took me by surprise, but I actually liked it. After everything Bella went through with the health food to prolong his life, he ended up dying anyway. I like the message of that. No matter how hard a person tries, not everyone can be saved.

Anyway, that's enough of my overly long review. Don't get me wrong. I did enjoy the sequel. Just not as much as the original. I'll probably go to your profile and read some of your other stories. You are a very talented writer! :)
DawnScarlet19610 chapter 25 . 4/9/2019
I feel really conflicted. This story was so well written and incredible to read. The plot was also really great and easy to follow, but I have to admit that I actually hated the ending. As soon as the change in Alice and Jasper's personalities happened, it went really downhill for me... I still really appreciate how well done your story was. Your story is in no way bad, just wasn't my taste by the end. Bravo!
FelineNinjaGrace chapter 23 . 3/23/2019
Nope. You know what? You're a great writer but the story was ACTUALLY better in Meyer voice XD I cant believe I'm saying that! Lol, I loved your commentary in the first story about how much you didnt like Meyer. But...Bella became such a strange and different person when you put your own take on her. Cold and uncaring, while in the books she DID care about everyone. She cared about vampires and werewolves alike. And I hate how you made Jasper into the bad guy XD lol, but I will give you points for originality and plot twist. The ending though with Edward? It made me feel sick. I'm really grateful for this story though. It made me see both sides of the story. There are positive and negative points for both of them. I was able to weigh the pros and cons for both relationship like I'd never done before. And although there are MORE pros to the Jacob side...the cons are actually very much against my moral code lol. Plus, the Cullens are just more polite, refined, educated, and GOOD compared to the complete and utter mess that the werewolves offer. So I'm now an Edward Cullen 4-ever shipper! To each her own, right? I loved reading your story (the first one, I mean. Reading from Sam Uley's point of view is about as exhausting as you writing it.) and you're now one of my fav author's.
FelineNinjaGrace chapter 8 . 3/23/2019
Gosh. I can understand why she treats Edward mean. But ALICE?! Sweet, positive, carefree ALICE?! I really hate Bella right now. I mean, REALLY hate her. She's not intelligent in this story. She doesnt listen, doesnt learn, and doesn't care. And at least Edward wanted to wait before marriage to have sex with her. You do realize that she just committed a felony? She had sex wirh a 16 year old. She could go to prison for that. XP This sucks.
FelineNinjaGrace chapter 7 . 3/23/2019
C'mon. I'm loving this Bella/Jacob action but when
be threatened/promised to kill Edward does Bella REALLY not care that much? Like, she'd been completely against Edward in the books when he tried to stop her from visiting Jacob. Why isnt Bella more on Edwards side in this one? Its not her personality. She's more on the "peace and love side of things"
Fookasu221 chapter 24 . 3/7/2019
Just so you know, TMOTE and TFOTS are my Twilight canon. As far as I'm concerned, Stephanie Mayers' work is bad fanfiction of your work that just somehow became popular. And I'm serious, I HAVEN'T read the twilight saga aside of a few key scenes, but I've nevertheless read a ton of J/B fics because there are seriously great authors for it. So thanks to you all, great authors who took SM's rubbish and made Sixtine Chappels out of it.
TheButterflyComposer chapter 24 . 3/6/2019
This is one of the best fanfic series I have ever read.
Guest chapter 7 . 11/9/2018
Present, if anyone I still waiting up
Guest chapter 24 . 10/16/2018
is it weird that i started off reading this and movement of the earth for the pairing and then kept reading purely for the plot? bc that's what i've enjoyed the most, as well as the characterisation of the vamps, the pack dynamic, the explanation of the imprint, BELLA...i feel like i've completed a milestone. thank you so very much for all your creative efforts! (and also i can't beelieve it was you who wrote the sparrowkeet series! i love that fic so much )
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