|Reviews for Ranma Story|
| Treant Balewood chapter 2 . 4/28/2013
Hehehe, thanks for writing this it was a laugh. I hope you continue some time ill keep checking up on it.
| SquiggytheMage chapter 2 . 12/11/2012
deffenty want more!
| solitare chapter 2 . 9/22/2012
This is pretty funny. You should write more.
| Guest chapter 2 . 6/29/2012
The first two chapters are excellent. The writing style is as good as Cloud-Dreamer's, and the prose is very fine. If I can find fault with anything, it's the mention of Akane Tendo in Chapter 1. Ranma doesn't deserve such an insanely
jealous fiancee as Akane. Kasumi would be a much better wife for Ranma, and if
I was in Ranma's shoes, I wouldn't even think of returning to the Tendo Dojo and an
abusive fiancee. No. I would stay in Juuban and build a new identity and new life
for myself. If you want a title for your story, how about "Ranma's New Life"! The best way to extend it is for a monster to show up that is even more powerful than
Ranma, and the Scouts have to intervene in order to save his life, but Ranma's return to Nerima is delayed by the monster destroying the train, before Sailor Saturn
destroys the monster, and they fall deeply in love, anyway, those are my ideas.
| bhull242 chapter 2 . 6/24/2012
I like this story. It doesn't have too many clichés (except the more necessary or funny ones), and does something that I'm surprised isn't one: Usagi giving away their identities by alluding to Ranma's curse. I cannot wait for the next chapter. Keep up the good work!
| Hiryo chapter 2 . 6/24/2012
Please update as soon as you can this awesome story!
| PrankK1ng chapter 2 . 4/1/2012
I've seen a lot of ranma/sm story, but I have to say: this by far is the funniest. Keep it coming.
| Chargone chapter 2 . 1/26/2012
hahaahhah. ahhhh that's just funny.
there must be more of it.
of course, you probably can't get a heck of a lot further without an actual plot, i guess, or much further than That without some character development, but still.
| Ranmaleopard chapter 2 . 1/13/2012
heh this is awesome i cant wait to see what happens next. will ranma teach usagi and the others how scam free food from the vendors? (oh the horrors, what has the world come to that beautiful young women would be seduced by shameless temptation of free ice cream! It's the end of the world, everybody run, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!) please continue!
| Ranmaleopard chapter 1 . 1/13/2012
heh, this is really interesting i cant wait to see what happens next please continue!
| Anthony1l chapter 2 . 10/29/2011
This story is hilarious, interesting, original, touching, and unique.
| Orchamus chapter 2 . 9/17/2011
Damn, this one is pretty good two! I like the pairing, SEt-chan needs a bit of chaos in her life to keep her from being a stick in the mud, plus after millenia of being around, she probably doesn't care too much about genders.
| Raynze76 chapter 2 . 8/6/2011
interesting story so far. should use the crow more into the story lol maybe becomes a pet or something
| The Nameless Author chapter 1 . 7/30/2011
Ok there is a lot of bad writing habits I've seen throughout just this chapter alone.
First off you switch between past tense writing prose to present tense writing prose.
An example of this is.
'Ranma runs up and hits the monster' - present tense writing prose.
'Ranma ran up and hit the monster' - past tense writing prose.
Pick one prose and stick to it. Switching back and forth is rather confusing and also annoying to me and I do know many other readers. Sure some will ignore it, but a good majority will be turned off to reading your fic if you can't stick to one writing prose.
Next problem is you keep on breaking what is commonly known as the fourth wall.
An example if this would be explaining things like.
'Oh, another thing you should know about Ranma: he could make it rain in the most remote part of the Sahara dessert just by being there, under no power of his own.'
That is a major no-no in writing. Seriously stop doing this. Instead of explaining stuff by telling your reader 'Ranma can make it rain anywhere'... show it to them like this.
'Ranma stood there and out of nowhere a rain cloud showed up and let loose it's payload on top of the martial artist.'
In this example you just showed the reader through an event what happens to Ranma on a daily basis being a water cursed magnet.
Lastly before publishing any work please put it through a beta reader. There are many out there myself included. Having it go through a beta reader and having the reader catch these errors and more will flesh out your work and make it a lot more fun to read and palatable.
I seriously was considering not reading the rest of this chapter after I hit both of these bad writing habits towards the beginning of this chapter.
Again I encourage taking your time to make sure your work is as perfect as it can be before publishing. If you were to write a book of pure fiction and wrote it like this and then tried to get it published, any major publisher would tell you what I've told you and tell you to re-write your story with these fixes in mind before trying to get it published again.
I'm not trying to be mean, but I am trying to help you improve.
| WiLd.iNDigO chapter 2 . 7/28/2011
I love this story so far! It's just awesome sauce. Oh! and while I was reading this I just had this silly thought; what if Makoto and Ukyo were cousins or something? I just realized how similar they are. You don't have to use my idea but I thought it would be interesting. Anyways I hope you do continue this!