|Reviews for Playlist|
| evilteddybear chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
I really like it, and at the same time don't. It's good and well written, but a bit outside of my comfort zone. Which is really only appropriate for a tale of devilry isn't it?
| xXCherryLicoriceXx chapter 1 . 4/2/2011
Heehee, that was genius. And the songs worked well, too I love this writing style was amazing and the imagery was great :D Personally, I think you should ignore that anon who commented on your grammar because her comments don't exactly make sense with the context and your writing style was damn near perfect as it was and gave it a magnificent effect :D Seriously, I loved it. 3 Big fan of your stories You should do more "songfics" or "playlist-fics" or whatever this is called, hahaha.
| chahiro in love 101 chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
| Idiotichobo chapter 1 . 3/5/2011
Extremely well done song fiction 8D
To comment from that one anon with the thorough review. Wow, it's nice that she (I'm assuming 'she') took the time to go through the entire story like that. Some of what she said were even helpful but that last comment about not being a native English speaker was definitely exaggerated and unnecessary. Maybe she's the one who's not a native English speaker, and does realize that she just experienced damn good English.
| Sada-chan chapter 1 . 2/17/2011
I can't believe Ciel hunted as a girl!
but then again he does loook better as a girl
| my name is paper YAH chapter 1 . 2/13/2011
another work of yours that is positively a piece of art! I love reading your stories!
| krissy chapter 1 . 2/11/2011
Love it, love you, your totally amazing. I absolutely adore your style of writing, its beautiful and magnificent.
| Bonnie chapter 1 . 2/8/2011
Ugh, I think that "reviewer" was very closely bordering a flame and indeed very rude.
This piece was excellent. Modern era Black Butler fics are some of my favourites and this fit that bill well. Please do more like this. *hearts*
| her m o c k i n g j a y chapter 1 . 2/7/2011
First: Kesha owns my heart. I love that you use her songs. Also, I remember reading one of your stories where you referenced her song Run, Devil, Run. How in the world did you get ahold of it? I've searched everywhere, trying to download it. No luck.
Secondly: I adore modern-day Ciel and Seba fics. Seba in jeans is just... *insert fan girl scream*. I didn't completely understand why Sebastian cant change forms anymore but I believe thats due to the fact that I'm not keeping up with the manga like you are. You know much more about the series than I.
Thirdly: to those complaining about the anon review-personally, I don't believe she was rude at all. She had constructive criticism that she believes will help the author become a better writer. Authors generally appreciate reviews like that. The reviewer was overtly rude by any means. She expressed her dissatisfaction with certain aspects of the story and explained in detail what she thinks could improve it. Im not saying I agree with her, but what she wrote was not a flame.
Anon: I'm assuming youre girl because of your name. I apologize if you're not.
Sorry for spelling mistakes-it's late and I'm on my phone and too lazy to look back over this.
| Emily chapter 1 . 2/5/2011
That anon can seriously fuck off. They have no business ranting about your grammar when they can't even use it properly themselves. I really liked this, and I like that this is an original idea. It's a fan fiction, Ciel can be as OOC as you want him to be as long as you have a solid idea. Don't let ignorant and overcriticizing anon's get you down, this was great. :3
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/4/2011
And, not to mention, it isn't a big deal she described the woman's breasts twice. It's only adding detail to the story. Would you rather, "Sebastian was at a club. There was a girl with large tits."? I think not...
Oh well. Just my opinion.
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/4/2011
...Well that anonymous reviewer was rather positive. Even if she was only trying to help... Jesus, it's like you just ripped all her work apart. I liked it.
| BloodlyCherryBlossom chapter 1 . 2/4/2011
oh shit did cielo die in the end
| Katherine Merveilles chapter 1 . 2/4/2011
When I first read this, I was impressed with the rather diverse choice in inspiration. At first the prose starts off a bit overly descriptive, which is al right, but then it continued to remain that way for the entirety of the story. Personally, I found it to be a very amateur and distracting. I hope you dodn’t mind me red-lining this fic to show you where the prose got confusing.
“When I first read this, I was impressed with the rather diverse choice in inspiration. At first the prose starts off a bit overly descriptive, which is al right, but then it continued to remain that way for the entirety of the story. Personally, I found it to be a very amateur and distracting. I hope you dodn’t mind me red-lining this fic to show you where the prose got confusing.
“a sound akin to contorting ligaments"
Ligaments by nature are meant to stretch. They don't really "contort". A better word to use for contortion would be "stretching" or if you wanted to give the impression that the limb was being stressed the word "stressed" would work though in case where ligament would be described as contorted might be "snapped", "pulled", "loosened".
"each porcelain globe as full and white as the moon that hung behind the hazy smog of pollution-tainted clouds, strung up, up, up in the sky beyond this festering slime pit of a club"
This statement is only part of the sentence, and yet it already has the makings of a terrible run on. It is far too over loaded with adjectives and commas. Here is my personal advice for improvement: "He did not refuse her offer; for he was both hungry and bored. She was an attractive girl with flawless moon white skin and breasts that poured out of her top. The filthy club seemed undeserving of her presence there." This explains the girl, the club they are in, his intentions with her, her paleness and that she is attractive without being over top purple. It also breaks up the ideas in a way that allows them to flow clearly and without run ons.
"cantarella saliva mixed and stung and fizzled"
I do not understand what is being describe here. It like you pulled random words from a hat. Or that demons love pop rocks. Either way when reading this sentence I had to constantly re-read the rest of it in confusion as to why this was described that way. I am still hopelessly confused by your choice in prose style.
"But they were nothing if not adaptable creatures, and they were quite good at pretending to enjoy things that they hated" Aside from the winceable grammar, I found this sentence to be an example of what more of yours should try to emulate.
"already straining through the sheer gauze of her nearly-transparent top"
I am not sure why you felt the need to describe her massive, pouring out breasts twice. The first description was enough. The reader will won't forget her massive chest size any time soon.
"Her hands were still upon him, thin and hot and deliciously tense, but they were quivering more than moving, and she had been the first to succumb."
Why "thin and hot and deliciously tense" would describe anyone's hands is beyond me. Once again, your prose suffers from to many unrelated adjective forced through it's every orifice over, and over, and over, and over again. I personally don't have time to point out every instance of this in just this fanfic alone, but it is a consistent flaw that I think you should try and be aware of when revising your work.
I must say at this point was when I realized that this girl was Ciel Phantomhive. Here I was thinking it was an original of some ind because Ciel Phantomhive would never act as a woman, much less a woman who lacked so much virtue. As a rather dignified noble, (and in canon, heterosexual) one would think the very idea of dressing up in revealing womens clothing and seducing men would completely out of the question for him. Nor would he ever set place in a dingy anything. Remember- he is a rich snob. Raves are below him, as well as promiscuity. While he may be ageless, some people do act how they were raised throughout their entire lives. A boy groomed to be noble would never act in such a manner, even if many eons would pass him by.
Now, I am not completely acquainted with the kuroshitsuji fandom, but this is just far too out of character for Ciel to be acting this way, no matter what canon you are using. (Presuming you're even attempting to write him in character.)
I found the treatment of sexuality in this work to be similar to the treatment of sexuality from well, an outsider. Someone who has never truly been to any form of rave or club. Or has even had sex. I am not saying that going out and partying is your solution here, as just reading a good solid piece of nonfiction would do the trick. If you attend a college or live near one, you may want to consider taking a class on it in order to better understand the workings of the human boy.
I am guessing that english may not be your first language and I apologize for my remarks of your lack of proper grammar, but I do suggest maybe getting an english-native beta for your work or maybe writing in your native language instead.
| ravensterling123 chapter 1 . 2/4/2011