|Reviews for Eien|
| Lady Sieben chapter 27 . 8/6/2013
Hi, there! I just finished reading this. I actually read the first few chapters in another website last year and when I went looking for the rest earlier today I couldn't find it so I had to google you! Anywho, I really like this story. I'm a big fan of Zack's and I like pretty much anything with him in it, provided his cheerful, bright personality shines through. It certainly does in this! I will check the sequel later today - it's 1:30am right now and I have an early start, ha!
Thanks for writing this!
| EccentricFox chapter 11 . 1/19/2013
In this chapter, when Zack mentions the thieves stealing their materia, you've actually spelled it material.
I'm not too keen on how Cloud is always whinging about being a failure. Just makes me cry out in exasperation or want to smack him in the head. Or stop reading. I think you need to give him something that he can be proud of, something that he has confidence in - something that he simply take in stride but others find remarkable.
It's be a shame if Cloud ended up a whiny cry-baby emo kid.
| EccentricFox chapter 10 . 1/19/2013
Another word you constantly misuse is wandering - it's wondering. to wander is to walk, to wonder is to think.
| EccentricFox chapter 9 . 1/19/2013
I don't know if anyone's pointed this out to you, but 1pm is written 1300hrs. Not 0100. That would be 1 am. same for six in the evening - I think you had written it 1600 - it should have been 1800. There are also words that you used, which have been misused - suite instead of suit, privet instead of private. There are places where you've neglected to use capitals, like with Cloud's name a couple of times over the last 9 chapters. If I were you, I'd go back and fix that, maybe get a beta to go over the story and give it a bit of a polish.
In the diary on Cloud's experiments, I think if I remember rightly that it had been three weeks, but in this chapter, Zack says he hasn't seen Cloud in a week. So either, that's an error or it could be foreshadowing, which would hint at Cloud being an experiment well before the mission. I'm in two minds about which it is after some of the stuff you'd written previously, about Cloud being tired after waking, losing weight etc. If that's not what it is, I'd probably rectify it or maybe run with it.
The story is interesting, but I'm struggling to follow it. Where is the story headed? There's no indication of where it's going, although that's not necessarily a bad thing. If you temper it with some insight on Sephiroth's mindset/perspective it might help to direct the story more. Of course, I'm only a third of the way in. I'm hoping more will become clear further in, but the earlier chapters could do with some hints.
| darkwhizper chapter 27 . 3/26/2011
ohhhh now i get some stuff i didnt while i was reading Ningyō!
man ive been reading too much! i got a huge massive head now .
anyway I CANT BELIEVE SEPHY PUSHED CLOUD! ;; soo sooo mean BUT I STILL LOVES HIM .
| darkwhizper chapter 18 . 3/25/2011
nuuuuuuuuuuuuuu i haaaaaaaaaate that zack has to die /3 mannn you had me in tears! im taking my sweet ass time playing crisis core . i dont want zack to die! im currently at where hes just about to fight angeal again i dont want him to die too ;;
i decided to review this chapter because i think i needa break im crying my eyes out!
| Buppy chapter 1 . 3/19/2011
Oh the things I would do to you if we met in a private place!
| Golden feathers Edward chapter 26 . 2/23/2011
I'm kind of sad that Sephiroth didn't have some kind of sick twisted love for Cloud. Poor Cloud he was chewed up then spit out.
| WolfOfFeathers chapter 25 . 2/22/2011
This story is amazing, FF7 was always awesome but yaoi just seems perfect for the story line and you really show how ruthless Sephiroth is.
| PointZero chapter 1 . 2/21/2011
Okay, before I read any farther I have to know. Is this a het fic or yaoi?
It's really good, filled with wonderful hurt!cloud but I was under the impression it was Seph/Cloud but now I'm not so sure. Het squicks me for some reason and I'm loath to admit I absolutly hate Tifa...
| w- easy enough chapter 24 . 2/18/2011
wow. What a story! A slightly different twist to the original plot! Love it. _
| jParadox chapter 20 . 2/16/2011
I'm still reading this, and it's getting better. :)
Like the little twist you had at the end of this chapter. ;) Of course Sephiroth had to let his Cloud out, lol. Keep up the good work!
| Golden feathers Edward chapter 17 . 2/13/2011
I guess that answers my question from a few chapters ago you are not going to change what happens in Nibelheim.
| Epsilon16 chapter 16 . 2/12/2011
This is really awesome. I hope Sephiroth do more stuffd to Cloud.. (:p) Hope you update soon!
| Golden feathers Edward chapter 16 . 2/12/2011
Poor Cloud. DX