|Reviews for Mahou Sensei Anya|
| Shinoki chapter 9 . 8/27/2015
I'm pretty sure that unmei is the fate, destiny type of fortune.
| PML7 chapter 22 . 7/15/2012
Interesting changes. Looking forward to the next piece.
| PML7 chapter 17 . 7/14/2012
Good story so far. Only on chapter 17 and you likely have found a solution to Yue's summons. Still, I will give my two cents now, before I forget. Not to mention, should I ever actually write Negima, it could come to good use for myself...
filii Ymir accolae inter perennis glaciem Niflhiem, venit tria Jotnar pruinis!
children of Ymir, dwellers amidst the endless ice of Niflhiem, come forth three Jotnar of Frost!
This will have Yue summoning Frost Giants (Norse Mythos)
Hope this helps.
| Andmeuths chapter 22 . 3/12/2012
Another excellent chapter for Mahou Sensei Anya.
The length is indeed more manageable this time, and I applaud the numerous divergences slowly stacking up all over the place, that seems prime to rip the plot away from it's foundations and set it free.
All the best in keeping up with the direction of the plot!
I PMed you a more detailed thoughts on this chapter.
| Mephiles chapter 22 . 3/11/2012
So I finished now and it was cool. Pity that the space between updates is so long but that is the trade off for quality. I liked the Ayaka Kotaro bits and look forward to the next chapter.
| Mephiles chapter 20 . 3/11/2012
Woah! Well written story. You have successfully made Anya cool in me eyes. She really deserved a place in that epilouge so I hope you give her, and most of the others, a better ending. In response to some notes you made at the bottom I just want to add that Yue and Kotaro being tsundere for each other I think would be sweet and I hope Kota-kun gets more than a few pactios in this fic (but thats just my prejudice showing so don't worry about it ;). I'm gonna read the last two chapters now and then review again later to let you know what I think of the fic so far. Keep writing!
| Acolrn chapter 22 . 3/11/2012
Nice story I like the fact that characters who didn't do much in canon are getting more attention cause I always felt they got neglected. I really like the Ayaka Kotaro shipping because even in canon they were cute so I hope they pactio. Look forward to seeing Anya and Kotaro in particular getting a lot more attention in the fic. Nice work and looking forward to the next chapter.
| Ignis76 chapter 22 . 3/11/2012
Interesting chapter. Though I wouldd have preferred it if Negi kissed Anya instead, but that's just me.
| Pinehas chapter 21 . 3/6/2012
Wait, why does Chao find Kotaro to be a troublesome element in her plan? Also, could it be that Kotaro finds her hot? Whoa, don't tell me Chamo is in with this with her.
Hmm...the reason you made for Asuna's quick progress sounds convincing.
Heeh, Kotaro feels shy too, eh? Me likes.
You know, seeing how it is practically necessary for Chamo too duplicate pactio cards, I might as well as have it that when you make a pactio, it automatically duplicate. I wonder what would Kotaro's artifact will be.
Maybe you don't, but I do. Be a man and kiss him, Kotaro! (do it while you are on a teenaged form, at that)
Ah, this bit with Haruna bringing Asuna into submission with her kissing logic. Did you change it from your post in the fanfiction thread, because if you did, I think I liked that version better. Oh well.
And Anya is still flat. Why am I not surprised.
It seems that not much changed in regards of Chachamaru and her emotion development shenanigans.
I would think that Kotaro have seen an ermine...
You get a lulz point for Rainbow Dash reference. Or minus lulz point, I can't decide.
And DONE! My God, it took me forever to read through this one; this is one long chapter. I have a feeling that you haven't diverged nearly as much as you could have, but I'm not complaining. Besides, I'm not the one to say this anyways. XD
By the way, can you check out Mahou Seishun Negima chapter 3? There's certainly more divergence this chapter. Relatively speaking, that is.
Looking forward to the next chapter, yo.
| Ignis76 chapter 21 . 2/20/2012
Are you still writing this? If so reply because I have a few suggestions...
| GazerBlitz chapter 21 . 12/23/2011
Nice :) Really like how you portrayed Anya and the main instead of Negi. Cant wait to read more abt Asuna though :) M kinda biased cos she is my fav character :) Continue and update soon please :)
| Andmeuths chapter 21 . 12/16/2011
Closing on to the end , I can see how you are making those tiny tweaks in canon to build up to a very different Mahorafest. First up , if Evangeline is in , then Negi essentially will wind up spending a day with her . We might get a replicate, a pseudo Evangeline arc under quite different circumstances right before Chao drops the bomb. I would be expecting that , it can make sense , but your plans might be different after all.
Secondly , I can begin to see why some of your beta-readers have commented that everyone is falling for Negi at an unrealistically fast pace. While the time-frame might makes sense , again , I identify the limits of a single chapter as a cause for that perception. That being said , your romantic development leaves things to be desired. Love at First Sight is being used too often as a common plot device , unfortunately . Nodoka and Yue are the biggest culprits here , I don't see that much interaction , and these two girls have to coaxed out of their shells in my opinion. Ako is canonical of sorts , the Cheerleaders are plausible.
Setsuna's and Konoka's pactio does fell semi rushed. Certainly , I wonder the differences between Setsuna's pactio here and in canon - the dagger really raised my eyebrows here , and Konoka might not receive that utterly broken artifact of hers , though her increased competency as a healer somewhat compensates for it. Right now , I suspect she's where she would be in the end of the MW Arc canonically.
If you wish to develop the Ako-Negi relation , it'll be tricky to avoid the question on Ako's past , something canon has not provided an answer to.
Certainly , I suspect most of your critics with regards to relationships are operating under the assumptions of canons , with it's long character buildup process and really long world and relationship building period. Bear in mind that both the Evangeline and Kyoto arc played a pivotal role in establishing relations in canon - as Negi has missed both of these arcs , his character and relationship development has suffered.
If I want to be less charitable , I might also claim that you've attempted to squash several months worth of characterization into the space of a month, and it wasn't well executed. I would go as far as to say that it could be improved (You'll need to really delve into how changed circumstances affected Negi's interactions), and again , I think you would have been better served had you broken this up into more manageable chapters.
Then again , I think everyone is looking at this from the eye of the later Negima chapters . So to be fair , some of the teasing you are writing is being construed as romance. Though I do think you have mixed up teasing with Romance - again , Nodoka Yue is an egregious case , and Konoka -Setsuna is probably better done , but in part , I sense that Negi got friendzoned in canon by Konoka , so that wasn't as difficult as Nodoka Yue.
I keep harping on Nodoka don't I? That scene about the confession disturbed me somewhat actually.
Perhaps you might have dragged out some developments into the Mahora-fest arc...
I see that you are trying to make Yue a diplomat here. Thankfully , this is Negima and not Madoka , so her approach is viable and also realistic under Negima rules, with it's cast of anti-villains with understandable motivations .
Again , Negi's undoubtedly more well trained Pre-cognition will be a great leveler for him , I think. If it is battle-worthy , than this Negi will fight in a style that even further brings out his Strategic way of thinking of combat - prepared spells plus Pre-cognitions plus backups to adjust to shifting predictions and responses all will play a huge role , and if he aquires the speed he has in canon , or comes close , pre-cognition allows him to maximize that advantage.
Konoemon is epic. If that was your objective , you've succeeded admirably.
Does Negi even need love potion ingredients? He's a walking , living , breathing and thinking love potion.
Oh , and the Chao scene reeks of an idiot ball. Sometimes , I think Chao does cast certain subtle mind-altering magics to make those around her be idiots if her agenda requires.
They're digging their graves in the Chao chase scene. Negi , Anya , and the whole crew. But then , hindsight IS a great thing after all (.
Asuana and Anya forced pactio? Is that even permitted?
And yes , Off the Rails seems to be impeding. Roger Andrews is just one of the many spanners this time-line is creating, and eventually , it'll all implode. One by one in a chain reaction , or even all at once.
One last thing. Please don't publish a 40K plus chapter monster ) if you can help it. Readability is compromised by sheer length.
All the best.
| Pinehas chapter 16 . 12/10/2011
Makie An-semi colon Oh dear
Heheh, Yuuna and her bewbs. I don't get Zazie's reaction, though.
Huh, so was Tsukuyomi the one who shot the spikes?
You know, Konoka was away from Setsuna for a very short moment. I wonder how she had the time to dress in full kimono in that time in canon.
Man, Kazumi's Artifact is really, REALLY, useful.
Heh, Ayaka supporting KXS.
What was Yue's artifact pointing at, the charms?
That was a creative way to do Kotaro fight.
| Pinehas chapter 15 . 12/10/2011
Hmm...I do wonder how you can really do that whole comical crying thing.
Urgh, obligatory Kono X Setsu moment...
What's the deal with the cheerleaders and shopping? :D It seems that Madoka is the Team Mom.
Huh, museum of photography? Never heard of that one.
I think Ayaka was a bit exaggerating regarding the Sayo doll.
I'm seeing more Mana moments than in canon. I approve, of course.
It makes me wonder how Setsuna and Konoka's relationship would have been if the whole drowning thing never happened. Maybe I should do that in Mahou Seishun Negima. XD
Jumping at her own shadow...Misora is Fluttershy? :P
Ah, finally Ayaka moment where she is overjoyed at her own hobby.
"Did you think that demons don't do anything erotic?"
Come to think of it, I'm rather dissatsfied at how Konoka's alleged potential was never fully explored.
"It's called experiencing an electric shock." Chigusa deadpanned.
Hah, loved this bit.
Hmm...I forgot why Sayo was partcularly attached to Kazumi. Better go recheck the previous chapters.
Ooh, Ako starting a pillow fight? Must've missed that bit from the canon.
Heh, Anya clones.
You know, I'm sure that I'm one of the few people that actually got the Nichijou reference. XD
All in all, I like this one. It has some amusing moments and is quite divergent from the canon.
| Cyberchao X chapter 15 . 11/22/2011
Ah, yes, so now we have Tsukuyomi's depraved lesbian tendencies coming out. I think I'm going to love this-especially after seeing you name-drop shanejayell in your author's notes.
Putting links in stories is inconvenient because of the fact that they can't just be copy-pasted over. You should put the links to the pactio cards up on your profile page.