|Reviews for Michiko e Hannah|
| purpledragon6 chapter 3 . 8/11/2015
Interesting bit of a concept you've got going there.
| Kigo Stories chapter 3 . 7/18/2014
Yeah and I think it's taking longer to update this next chapter too. Granted I think it's cute and endearing but now I understand why my readers complain a lot now too.
| Ruise chapter 3 . 3/31/2014
I think it's dead. It's always depressing to find a really interesting fic that was abandoned, years after the fact. This actually isn't an atrocious place to end it though.
| brooklyn1shay2black3 chapter 3 . 11/8/2013
I love it. Maybe put some Mickico in the next chapter?
| Sassy Lil Scorpio chapter 3 . 9/2/2012
This was really great. I love that you brought Lenine into the mix and the book that Hana/Hatchin wanted in the anime. I also like the idea of Hana writing about her adventures with Michiko from her own point of view. That would make for a very interesting read. I found her reaction to Miranda interesting...Hana is so used to being abused by the Belenbauza Yamadas, that she probably expected Miranda and Jules to be the same way. You've written an intriguing story and I hope you'll be inspired to finish it. Keep writing!
| Sassy Lil Scorpio chapter 2 . 8/17/2012
Very interesting. Hatchin doesn't seem impressed. I keep wondering about Miranda and Jules...what's their deal? I look forward to reading more!
| Sassy Lil Scorpio chapter 1 . 8/16/2012
Wow! I'm so glad to see a M to H fanfic! This is great! One that really stood out to me that I really liked was that Hatchin embraces the name Michiko gave her: Hatchin. That really speaks of the bond they developed during their time on the road. I like the part about Hatchin sensing something off about her new foster parents, especially the part about how they "slapped smiles on their faces". Great detail. Hatchin has been through so much...she can't be fooled. I also love that you had her wonder about when Michiko's coming to get her. I like that Miranda Villaz expressed that she wanted to adopt Hatchin. That was touching. At the same time, there's some sense of foreboding...especially when Hatchin notes how she switches from topic to topic. I wonder what's going to happen when Hatchin lives with this family. This is a really great start!
I really like your fic, but I have some suggestions...I hope they are helpful. First...just be careful when you use "their", "there" and "they're"...in the line where Hatchin thinks "their super rich"..."their" is possessive..."they're" or "they are" is what you meant. Also...just a little typo..."restaurant".
My other suggestion is to space out your dialogue. I noticed that when you had two people talking to each other (such as Hatchin and the other orphan), you put it in one paragraph. The format is that each line is spaced out on its own like this:
"Well, at least give me a hug, Hana Morenos!" The girl demanded, thrusting her hands on her hips.
"That's Hatchin Villaz, to you as of now." Hatchin smirked, throwing away her old surname from her father, including her real name.
She then submitted to the emotional hug, and the girl started making a loud bawl.
"I can't believe I'll never see you again..." She said sniffing in between gaps.
"I doubt that, I'll probably see you around." Hatchin waved and trudged out the door and into her new life.
Other than that, your fic really is great and has an intriguing start. I'm very curious as to what awaits Hatchin, how she eventually leaves this family, and finds her own path. I even wonder if you'll explain how she ended up with her child in the end, and also how her and Michiko have their reunion. I'm so happy to see a M to H fan write fanfiction for this amazing series. I look forward to reading more from you! Keep writing!
| Danny Barefoot chapter 3 . 7/17/2012
Cool story, the sense of character and dialogue are very good and the action is highly convincing so far. I wouldn't try to retell the whole story, it might be better to focus on Hatchin's refelections on her past, and how they affect her relationship with her foster parents. Hope you update soon.
| shamanic demonator chapter 3 . 4/5/2012
Are u still updatng? Please update, I wanna see way happen when they meet each other again
| MademoiselleSummertime chapter 1 . 2/14/2012
This anime needs more attention
Please write more!
| sonickidds chapter 3 . 8/21/2011
Good chapter waiting awhile for this
| LinaRiceball chapter 2 . 7/16/2011
Uwah! Its getting really interesting, nya! :)
I tried to review the first chapter but my computer wouldnt let me for some reason, nya... oh well, I can just include my thoughts on the first chapter in this review, nya :)
So far I think this is really well-written, nya. I like your writing style, nya! :/3
I personally think that you got Hatchin down PERFECTLY, nya. XD
I really wanna see where this goes, nya. Please write another chapter, nya? :D
| Artistically Insightful chapter 2 . 7/13/2011
I can't believe there's only 1 story written for this show! I love the story!
| sonickidds chapter 2 . 3/12/2011
good chapter. please update soon.
| sonickidds chapter 1 . 3/1/2011
good story please update.