|Reviews for Memento Mori|
| compa16 chapter 1 . 5/2/2011
You must cont this it is amazing
| Shadow Dice chapter 1 . 2/6/2011
Wow, looks like I found a little gem. Quite the interesting story you have here. Considering how many 'first fanfic' and 'i suk at sumeries' I had to go through, seeing yours almost made me cry tears of joy! It gave out little information about the story and was rather interesting. You did good job on it.
The basic writing was well done too. I saw no mistakes in the grammar and spelling. I only saw one mistake in capitalization, here it is:
"Ah, well, alright," he assented, pulling the radio from his belt and signaling another guard, "take over for me, Pollock." Whoever Pollock was radioed his affirmative, leaving Quint to turn back to the woman with a sigh, "which ones will it be then?"
Sine you put a 'take over for me, Pollock.' the 'w' on which should have been capitalized.
Other than that I saw no real problem with this area of your writing. Over-all keep up the goddwork in this area!
I'm not completely sure about Suzuna(that is her name right?) since it's only the first chapter. The way you described her body-type did interest me though. She sounds slightly abnormal will still being partly normal. I realize that the way I worded that was contradictory but thats the only way I can word it. She seems interesting and I can't wait to read more!
BB seems in-character(all of his creepiness seems intact), though his description was slightly off-putting. Not in a bad way though! What I mean is that, it was so marginally different from the way he is usually described(handsome and 'scary'). Again, I haven't seen enough of this story to write a proper review about this area of your story.
Over-all keep up the goodwork,
P.S: I'm listed as a beta-reader although I'm new to the fandom so you'd probably have better luck just searching for beta-readers who list DN as their preferred series.
| manhattan martini chapter 1 . 2/6/2011
The premises are nice, and the whole fic generally gives me the creeps. My favourite part so far was BB's description.