Reviews for Keeper
Originaljuan92 chapter 7 . 10/13/2014
I am ripping my hair out because of how good this story is every time I read it but it hasn't been updated in 3 years. This story needs an update so bad. Hopefully all the persona goodness coming out might make you come back.
Dane Namor chapter 8 . 8/29/2014
It's always a really melancholy feeling when you find a story that absolutely grabs you and then you see how many years it's been since it's last updated.

I don't know the details obviously, but looking at how much was done in less than a month I'm pretty amazed. Crazy work ethic?

Ohwell, regardless, it's truly one of the most interesting and unique stories I've seen for this pairing. The setup is so cruel I wasn't even sure if I could stand it going in, but damn if you didn't sell it well, I was cringing all my way through their initial meeting, and then of course, watching things slowly evolve from there.

The little touches too, things like Naoto's blood nose, loved it.

At a guess I'll assume you probably originally had quite a large story planned out, a big mystery or more, possibly too unwieldy, or just not enough time?

Either way, what's here is a great story and I'm going to follow/favourite it in the hopes that one day you'll come back and finish it!
Originaljuan92 chapter 8 . 5/5/2014
This is a GREAT story that NEEDS an UPDATE. Hopefully your on hiatus. I'll will happily follow this story hoping for more updates. Also this story should have more reviews. Have fun writing.
A Midsummer chapter 2 . 12/1/2013
I think I said this before but he's a fool, Naoto, he's bound to do such a reckless thing.
Fredryck chapter 8 . 10/7/2013
This is so good, honestly..are you ever going to finish this story? Because it would be a shame otherwise! Mysteries unsolved, and so on.
AstecStrange chapter 8 . 8/6/2013
Been a long time since i have been so excited to read a P4 story
Looking forward to the next chapter
wy chapter 4 . 6/9/2013
You are waaay too obsessed with the ellipses.
KnightOfSol chapter 8 . 2/28/2013
Hi, i have to say, i absolutely LOVE this story, for many reasons such as how you presented the characters, the air of mystery, curiosity about Naotao's intent toward many things, and the unique story you've came up with(also excited by the possibility of shadows as well as curious as how the other characters from p4 are doing).
i have been waiting for a good story like this and would absolutely hate to see it be abandoned, and im sure some of your other fans agree with me. I highly enjoyed persona 4 and mystery stories as well as naotao's character so this story is definitely one of my favorites(not just the site, in whole). it highly inspires me.
Love the story,hoping for more chapters in the future
and music chapter 8 . 2/17/2013
Okay, so this review is two years off and incredibly long, but I don't care.

This is an amazing and incredibly characterized fic. I know it's been long, but I do sincerely hope to see this updated. It's promising and it would be a shame to let it stop here, especially knowing that you have planned to take on supernatural elements in the future.

Admittedly, I was both excited and apprehensive to read this fic because I wasn't sure whether or not I would enjoy your characterization of Souji. I'm glad I stuck it out though, because I love how human he is here. I love how he he was disgusted with himself for being envious, for still wanting to be more successful than his peers, for longing to be as special as he was in Inaba. I love his internal monologues and how he copes with his new career. I love how you write his thought process and observations. He seems to have shifted a different mindset now as Mr. Seta. He is generally perceived as the Leader who would know how to take charge of everything, but now he takes his job of a subordinate seriously (although I still think Naoto treats him as an equal despite his role).

I do think he seems to be thinking of himself too lowly. Given what he has already done in Inaba, he should know that he is capable of a lot more. And as Naoto mentioned, he is smarter than he gives himself credit for. I don't know if you're selling him short or if this is just how it's coming out because we're reading the story from his perspective. Though he seems to still retain his special gift of understanding people well. Naoto is a lot more sharper and analytical, but Souji isn't half bad at being perceptive and observant either. I love the little comments he has about Ozu's misuse of words. Sometimes I think one of the reasons Naoto hired him is because she knows Souji will thrive in such a job - being organized, studying people, solving mysteries, protecting someone... Or maybe this could just be a pleasant side effect. I'm still curious how Souji landed his current job.

As for Naoto, I have to say I REALLY love how you portrayed her. Professional and comfortable in her own skin, but still with that streak of social awkwardness than we all came to love. Analytical, logical, methodical, perceptive. The part about her being manipulative with words when it come to interrogating Ozu was brilliant. Really, this is one of the best characterizations of Naoto I've read. Formal and logical and classy and incredibly in love with her job. I like the bit about her not wanting to entertain boring propositions, and Souji thinking she still has that child in her who wants to see those detective novels she loves so much become reality. That Naoto can smile wide and chlidlike because of her job. I simply have no complaints about her. She's... well, perfect in my eyes.

The way you portray her is also very easy to imagine, from the vintage cars to the various concealed smirks and smiles. I love the last bit in the end though, when Souji suspects that she may be enjoying calling him Mr. Seta, and then how she promptly comments how unprofessional it was of Daiki to have intimate affairs with his employees. I love how she's hard to figure out, but Souji's understanding (and guesses) of her makes up for it.

But seriously, the one about her calling him Mr. Seta though. I seriously think she enjoys having Souji around and she enjoys his company not only as a friend, but as the Watson to her Sherlock. She does like emulating those detective novels to reality after all. I find this idea cute.

As for the story itself, I have to say I'm completely in love with it. It has this noir feeling to it, and the investigation of the mystery has been entertaining and thorough. I can practically hear the background mystery music from the game as I read the investigation scenes. I was seriously never bored at all. But then again, I'm the type who would enjoy listening to other people debate over ideas. I'm curious how this will lead to the supernatural though. I have to say, I have always wanted to read a P4 noir fic ever since I saw Naoto in the game, and this is a really good one.

Though I wish you would continue it, I guess it can't be helped if you decided to drop this fic altogether. I'm honestly surprised to not find this popular when I think it deserves a lot of attention. It's been two years since you last updated this though. But even so, I hope that this long review might bring this fic back to your attention should you have the time for such things. If not, oh well. I would still like to thank you for what you have so far. It's definitely going in my favorites.
TooLazyToLogIn chapter 8 . 2/15/2013
I really enjoyed your characterisations or... just about any character, really. It was an amazing read and I hope this will be continued sometime.

Thank you for writing. :D
A Midsummer chapter 8 . 11/13/2012
oh man, this the first time I took interest in a mystery genre with only words to back up. I always get distracted by aesthetics, which with my short attention span, find difficulty in focusing on the task (murder case) at hand.

I also love the fact that Souji is so human here. From the start he was insecure, bitter and awkward. The hilarious and refreshing mundane thoughts he often has is an icebreaker I definitely appreciate.
Guest chapter 3 . 5/23/2012
.HILARIOUS. Thank you.
DUDE chapter 8 . 2/4/2012
So far i love this fanfic there are a lot of good points to it the only sad thing is that its not finished i hope you will finish it
grievercentragarden.net chapter 8 . 4/28/2011
Nice. Very good storytelling and flow, and I can't find anything but for perhaps a solitary typo somewhere wrong with the technical aspect.

I like the way Souji has been given his own 'character'.

That said, I do feel you're selling him a bit short. If this is a post True-End, or even a post Normal-End Souji, he'd have been _very much_ a people person. Perhaps not as analytical as Naoto, but instead instinctively aware of peoples' motivations. He also has actual life and death combat experience. Sure, he's out of practice, but compared to just about anyone he's hellishly competent and that kind of experience does not readily go away. And he now has good reason to get back in shape and in practice again.

Also, what about his gear from Inaba? Did he sell it? Is it still in storage somewhere? Let me tell you, quality blacksmith work can net you quite a bit. Don't know about you, but by the time I finished P4 I had a nice chunk of spending money _and_ several times that in gear stashed away for a rainy day.
Natzo chapter 1 . 4/27/2011
I love the story, I hope you continue it soon.

Also, not really important, but in the first chapter you didn't mention what happened with Rise.
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