|Reviews for The Tower|
| Janus3003 chapter 1 . 5/10/2011
I like the story idea, and I always enjoy finding stories that flesh out Norrath more than the MMO can. Glad to know that I'm not the only one who does this with my own characters.
Critique-wise, your grammar and spelling were good. I had three main problems with the story-
1) It's difficult to look at and read. If you could put in some sort of break between scenes, like a line or some asterisks, it would help immensely.
2) The characters seemed to all be thrown in there with little detail. I felt like I was expected to know who they were and what they looked like, but that's impossible for myself and other readers. I also would have appreciated some more detail on character appearances, not to mention their races and maybe classes.
3) Chrysania's transition from skeptical to doing-whatever-the-Master-says was a bit too rapid, I think. It was too easy to forget that she'd been brainwashed, and oftentimes she came off a bit ditsy.
Aside from those issues, you did a good job. The EverQuest section doesn't get enough love (this may be a bit hypocritical of me, given my lack of EQ stories).
Keep up the good work!